billyhaisley Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Opposing Goalkeepers Spend Game One-Upping Each Other's Tremendous Boners<em></em>
Saturday’s Sunderland vs. Millwall match finished 2-2, and all four goals were scored thanks to an array of increasingly mind-boggling goalkeeper boners that almost beggar belief. This is either the worst example of high-level goalkeeping ever, or an impressive display of just how shameless match-fi...
Tony Pulis Has Once Again Lost His Job For Being Too Good At It
When Tony Pulis was named West Brom manager back in January of 2015, the club gave him a single task—one he’s demonstrated for years to be better at accomplishing than practically anyone in English soccer: keep the team in the Premier League, and make sure they stay there. In his just about three ye...
Arsenal Remind Everyone They Can Still Be A Force To Be Reckoned With
I can’t tell if it is an overly harsh reaction to what was a commanding performance in one of the biggest matches of the season so far, or if it is instead a perfectly justifiable reflex in light of this club’s constant yo-yoing between underachieving and ascendency, but the main feeling I was left ...
Here's Video Of A Seemingly Drunk-Off-His-Ass Jerry Jones Making A Bad Joke
Something called The Blast has acquired an old video that shows Cowboys owner Jerry Jones making a groan-worthy joke to a fan who had stopped him at a Dallas hotel and asked the nutty old coot—whose beet-red face and unsteady speech suggest things about his level of inebriation—to wish his new wife ...
Kevin Durant Says Sleepiness Made Him Send Bad Tweets<em></em>
Kevin Durant, who might not be the NBA’s consensus best player but is widely regarded as the league’s No. 1 lame, might’ve put his embarrassing Twitter fiasco from this summer behind him after apologizing and weathering the storm of jokes. But he never addressed the crux of the issue, the thing that...
American Soccer Needs To Burn To The Ground
It’s hard to think of a single day that better encapsulated the pitiful state of American soccer culture than yesterday....
The USMNT's Newest Teen Sensation Provides Hope, Teammate Snatches It Away
Today is the USMNT’s first game back on the pitch since The Loss. From the ashes of such a debilitating defeat, the young and relatively unheralded group interim manager Dave Sarachan put out to face Portugal had a chance to win back some of the fan base’s faith. Which they did! Until they didn’t....
Girthy Goalkeeper Has A Much Smaller Man's Ball Skills
By physical appearance, you’d probably assume this chubby keeper playing for PS Sakiet Eddaier in Tunisia’s third division was something like a plumber or a short-order cook at a mid-tier chain restaurant. But judging by his frankly jaw-dropping tekkers, you’d be forgiven for thinking this roulettin...
Our Dear Sweet Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Is Very Sad About Missing The World Cup
Once the rage subsided within the proud hearts of American soccer fans in response to the USMNT’s humiliating failure to qualify for next summer’s World Cup, the feeling that settled in has been one of profound sadness. Mostly, this sadness has centered on what was stolen from us—namely, the opportu...
Martellus Bennett On Getting Cut By The Packers: "They Tried To Fuck Me Over"
After getting cut by the Packers on Wednesday for “failure to disclose a medical condition” and signing with the Patriots on Thursday, Martellus Bennett gave his side of the story about how his time in Green Bay ended in a long, expletive-filled rant on Instagram....
Patrice Evra Suspended, Cut From Team After Kicking Fan In The Face
Last week, Marseille defender Patrice Evra roundhoused one of his team’s fans in the face before a Europa League match and was suspended indefinitely by his club while they awaiting UEFA’s official punishment. That official punishment has now come down, and it will end Evra’s season and perhaps care...
The Year's Best Slapstick Comedy Is This Video Of Three Bumbling Soccer Ladies
Kudos to the lowlight reel maker here for backing this hilariously embarrassing moment from Wednesday’s Barcelona-Gintra Women’s Champions League match—which features one sort of big screwup followed by a ginormous one—with an appropriately vaudevillian score. We present: The Three Stoogettes....
Colombian Soccer Player Directs Racist Slant-Eye Gesture At South Korean Players
South Korea hosted Colombia in an international friendly earlier today. During a minor dust-up between players, Colombian midfielder Edwin Cardona made the slant-eye gesture in the faces of some South Korean players....
German Soccer Officials Are Realizing That Video Replay Fucking Sucks
The scourge of video reviews of subjective refereeing decisions has already infected soccer. The predominating viewpoint—mostly among soccer fans who haven’t seen how replay and inevitable replay-creep have poisoned American sports—on this unfortunate phenomenon has been that replay is good. But as ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Bet You Ain't Know
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go cop this album, it’s great....
Australians Have Once Again Gone Wild At The Melbourne Cup
Today is Melbourne Cup day, the most wonderful time of the year, the designated and officially sanctioned horserace/alcohol drinking competition when thousands and thousands of Aussies dress up in their finest duds and get blitzed while intrepid photographers capture it all in order to delight of th...
Manchester City Are So Much Better Than Everyone Else
The international break comes at a great time for Manchester City. They’re now coming off two consecutive Premier League matches in which they haven’t quite been able to maintain the peak altitudes they’ve hit at times during this soaring season of theirs—a relative slippage they most likely chalk u...
West Ham Set To Give David Moyes Another Chance To Fail
West Ham, despite having no reason to, have sucked for the better part of a year now. Because of this, today they’ve finally decided to fire manager Slaven Bilić. Probably a smart move. What probably isn’t a smart move is entrusting this squad of very talented attackers to David Moyes, an old, stodg...
Raheem Sterling Is Becoming The Player He Was Always Meant To Be
Raheem Sterling is a gem. He has been one of the best wide attackers in the Premier League for about five years now, boasts an athleticism and technical ability and intelligence that makes 99 percent of his peers look like stodgy goons by comparison, regularly heaps on goals and assists at a much qu...
Patrice Evra Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts After Kicking Fan In The Head
Former Manchester United defender and current Marseille player Patrice Evra will not play in his team’s Europa League match today after he channeled his inner Eric Cantona and karate kicked a fan of his own team in the face. Here’s a photo of the incident:...