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Carlos Vela Earns The Dubious Honor Of Being MLS's All-Time Highest-Scoring Mexican
With a deadlock-breaking goal from the penalty spot on Sunday in LAFC’s 4–2 win over the Red Bulls, Carlos Vela continued his season-long, Messi-like path of goal-induced destruction. The goal was his 23rd of the season, and his 37th overall in MLS, the latter stat making him the highest scoring Mex...
VAR Is Turning Everyone Into Cops
The opening weekend of the Premier League season was in some ways bittersweet—the sweetness provided by the return of the best league in the world, the bitterness from the sad end of England’s noble resistance to the scourge of VAR. To anyone expecting to witness the inherently corrosive effects of ...
Naked Idiot On The Field Rings In The New Premier League Season With A Dong
After a short summer break, the Premier League is back. Liverpool hosted Norwich City in the first match of the season today in a game that featured five goals, several wondrous feats of athleticism, and one pitch invader who made it onto the field just long enough to show the world his dick and ass...
Report: Manchester United Manager Reamed Out Romelu Lukaku For Exposing That Luke Shaw Is Slow
Romelu Lukaku has officially moved from Manchester United to Inter, which means it’s time for those deliciously juicy stories about how the relationship soured to start popping up. The Times has one particularly funny nugget, about how manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær subjected the Belgian to a “‘brutal’...
British Man Arrested For Racist Tweet About Mohamed Salah
A 32-year-old Englishman was arrested this morning on suspicion of committing a hate crime for sending a tweet that, according to the Liverpool Echo, included “racist slurs and pictures” of Liverpool’s Egyptian forward, Mohamed Salah....
Harry Maguire Is The Best Manchester United Can Do
The fee itself, as gargantuan as it is, isn’t really an issue. Manchester United are one of the few clubs in the sport for which money truly is no object, and so their decision to break the defender transfer record is no cause for alarm. If there is an issue with the Red Devils paying Leicester City...
Alejandro Bedoya Scores Goal, Calls For Congress To "End Gun Violence"
During the goal celebration after he scored in today’s D.C. United-Philadelphia Union match, Union midfielder Alejandro Bedoya picked up a pitch-side microphone and said into it,“Hey Congress, do something, now! End gun violence!”:...
Deadspin Up All Night: So Really, What The Fuck I Got To Lose?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Can’t stop, won’t stop....
Panthers Tight End Greg Olsen Is Getting A Raw Deal With This Generic <i>Madden </i>Face
Greg Olsen is a 12-year NFL veteran and a three-time Pro Bowler. He’s been one of the better tight ends in the league for the duration of his career. Madden 20 acknowledges all this by giving him a 89 overall rating, making Olsen the fifth-best tight end in the game. That makes it all the more stran...
Hope Solo Petitions Court To Join USWNT's Equal Pay Mediation As The Designated Ass-Kicker
The USWNT will soon enter mediation with the U.S. Soccer Federation in an effort to resolve the team’s equal pay lawsuit. Former USWNT star Hope Solo is concerned about whether the current national team will have the kind of cussed hard-ass they’ll need on their side so that they don’t settle for an...
Josef Martínez's Hideous Penalty Kick Run-Up Ends In Humiliation
The reward for Josef Martínez’s frankly insane penalty kick routine is an unreadable technique that makes it easy to best keepers from the spot, as evidenced by the Atlanta United forward’s 14-for-16 penalty record in MLS. The risk is that it makes him look like a huge weirdo and sets him up for rid...
![Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethers Carlos Vela, Explains Why MLS Sucks [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/m9nx6czccec3vczcdlwy.jpg)
Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethers Carlos Vela, Explains Why MLS Sucks [Updated]
LAFC forward Carlos Vela has dominated MLS this year. Many believe this makes him the best player in the league. Zlatan Ibrahimović disagrees. After all, Vela might be the Messi of MLS, but as Zlatan astutely pointed out in an interview on ESPN in which he coolly savaged Vela’s career and the league...
Barcelona Sign New Player Antoine Griezmann, But Still Have The Same Old Problems
The transfer that has been over a year in the making, and has felt basically inevitable for a couple months now, has now been completed. Antoine Griezmann is at last officially a Barcelona player....
Deadspin Up All Night: We Don't Know
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Zip it up and zip it out....
Manchester United Travel Halfway Around The World And Still Can't Escape Liverpool Fans' Trolling
If you had to point at a single day that represents the absolute nadir of being a 21st-Century Manchester United fan, you could make a strong case that today, July 11, 2019, is that day. The team itself is a joke. Their best player desperately wants out. Both the Red Devils’ biggest rivals are in pe...
The Women's World Cup Still Belongs To America, But For How Much Longer?
The strongest testament to the United States’ comprehensive supremacy in women’s soccer is how unspectacular their successful defense of the World Cup title was this summer....
Deadspin Up All Night: Is You Lying Or Telling
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
Angry, Pinwheeling Joe Maddon Gets Tossed From Cubs-Pirates Game
A steady stream of high and inside pitches from Pirates starter Jordan Lyles set off Cubs manager Joe Maddon yesterday, causing him to hop out of his dugout, to angrily shout at the Pirates’ dugout, and to even uncork a nifty little spin move in his efforts to break free of the umpire’s grip. Maddon...
![70-Year-Old Disqualified Marathon Runner Found Dead In The L.A. River [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ybwmggvu9v3qso6nqx8w.png)
70-Year-Old Disqualified Marathon Runner Found Dead In The L.A. River [Updated]
Frank Meza, the 70-year-old distance runner who had his age group–record time at the L.A. Marathon disqualified on Monday after officials deemed that he had cheated, was found dead in the Los Angeles River on Thursday morning, according to local TV station ABC 7....
Nick Kyrgios Executes Perfect Underarm Serve Against Rafael Nadal
The second round of Wimbledon offered Nick Kyrgios the opportunity to do what he loves best, which is to try to beat Rafael Nadal. Though he failed in that quest, falling in four sets in yesterday’s match, Kyrgios was able to realize his other great love, which is to try to annoy Rafael Nadal. No mo...