billyhaisley Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just What In The Goddamn Hell Are Barcelona Doing In The Transfer Market?
Death, taxes, and Barcelona doing some fuck shit in the summer 2017 transfer window. These are the three constants in life, and boy does that last one keep reminding us of its omnipresence....
Deadspin Up All Night: We Disrespect
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Overconfident Goalkeeper Pays For His Casualness With Huge Boner
Ross County’s Scott Fox must’ve thought Rangers forward Alfredo Morelos had slid off the edge of the flat Earth after the keeper managed to juke away from Morelos’s tackle deep in Fox’s own penalty area. Unfortunately, the Earth is not flat—or at least the edge of it is not located just off the boun...
Arsenal Are Who We Thought They Were
Already at this early stage of the season, is there anyone who still thinks Arsenal’s decision to bring back Arsène Wenger was a good idea?...
In Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona Have Found A New Heir For Lionel Messi
At long last, some good news for FC Barcelona. Both Barça and Borussia Dortmund have now officially announced their agreement to send budding French superstar Ousmane Dembélé to Spain for a staggering fee that could reach as high as €145 million. And as far as news for Barça fans goes, this really c...
Live-Tweeting Of Soccer Match Interrupted When Social Media Manager Subbed Into Game
We’ve seen before just how versatile lower league soccer players have to be in order to keep their clubs functioning and their fans informed. Just this weekend, we saw another example when a Baldock Town player continued in the proud tradition of Sleaford Town’s Harrison Allen by dutifully tweeting ...
Gylfi Sigurdsson Drops In A Goal From The Heavens
Oh man, this is some way to introduce yourself to your new fans. In only his second appearance for Everton, Gylfi Sigurdsson has just scored this insane blast from the middle of the park against Hajduk Split in a Europa League qualifying match:...
Barcelona's Farcical Summer Of Discontent Slips Further Into Absurdity
Barcelona should be one of the most prestigious and respected institutions in world sports. This hallowed club should be capable of attracting and retaining the absolute best soccer players around the globe, operating with a dignity and professionalism befitting such a revered club in an era that in...
Wayne Rooney Announces Retirement From England National Team
Wayne Rooney appears to be in the early stages of a career renaissance after leaving Manchester United for Everton this summer, so it’s a little odd that he’d pick this time to announce that he has declined a call-up with the England team and instead has decided to officially retire from internation...
Cristiano Ronaldo On Rejection Of Ban Appeal: "Injustices Will Never Bring Me Down"
Cristiano Ronaldo seems to think that everything bad that happens to Cristiano Ronaldo is proof of a vast worldwide conspiracy to besmirch the reputation of Cristiano Ronaldo. This explains why he would describe the Spanish tax authorities seeking to collect on some €15 million they believe he may h...
Wayne Rooney Met Some Old Friends<em></em>
The photo above shows Everton striker Wayne Rooney antagonizing the nearby Manchester City fans after he’d just scored against the home team during yesterday’s match. The keen-eyed Twitter user @Mirallas noticed that this picture bears a striking resemblance to another post-goal Rooney celebration a...
Soccer Match Interrupts Security Guard's Very Important Phone Call
We’ve all been there, trying to have a phone conversation at a desk in a room when all of a sudden something like a school class breaks out around us and we’re getting yelled at as if we’re the jerks. ...
Jack Wilshere Is Back On The Pitch, Back To Getting Dumb Red Cards
Jack Wilshere, the oldest 25-year-old in history, is still on the path to recovery after an injury he picked up on loan at Bournemouth last season. To warm up for the new campaign, Wilshere played in Arsenal’s U-23 match against Manchester City today. He put on a quintessentially Wilsherean show, pi...
Bournemouth Player Prevents Possible Goal Using Nothing But His Voice
Saturday’s Bournemouth-Watford game featured a curious incident when Nathaniel Chalobah, in perfect position to score, ran up to and right on past the ball seemingly for no good reason. Thanks to the fine folks at the BBC’s Match of the Day, we now know that this wasn’t an inexplicable brain fart on...
Chelsea's Manager Can't Stop Laughing At Diego Costa
A few days ago, Diego Costa let some wandering Daily Mail reporter into his home in Brazil and proceeded to lay out in considerable, hilarious detail just how fed up he is with how Chelsea and the manager, Antonio Conte, who Costa says “lacks charisma,” have treated him. Today Conte himself was aske...
Why Is The <i>Wall Street Journal</i> Letting Jason Whitlock Use Its Pages To Say Colin Kaepernick Isn't Black?
It’s hard to find anything truly shocking nowadays in a world that seemingly no longer has any rules, but that an ostensibly proud and legitimate newspaper like the Wall Street Journal sees fit to regularly lend its imprimatur of legitimacy to the rambling thoughts of a blithering idiot like Jason W...
Champions League Coverage Set To Get Fucked The Same Way EPL Coverage Has
In their infinite wisdom, NBC recently saw fit to take a good and beloved Premier League broadcast strategy and make it bad and hated by cleaving its once-unified televised and streaming services into two smaller and less satisfying parts, and charging for each separately. Turner, which recently bou...
Arsène Wenger Is Sorry For All The Times He Made Arsenal Fans Cry
Arsène Wenger often talks about managing Arsenal the way old couples talk about marriage, or how parents talk about raising kids, or how other old couples talk about saying to hell with their marriage and the kids and getting a divorce—that is, he describes it as hard, thankless work that for the mo...
Marco Asensio Just Wrecked Barcelona So Hard They Should Just Shut Down The Club
Here lies FC Barcelona, a formerly famed and hallowed soccer club that not too long ago was on the top of the world but through the capriciousness of one of its ex-stars, the borderline criminal mismanagement of those charged with run it, and the ruthlessly cruel manner in which their rivals Real Ma...
Deadspin Up All Night: Cause And Effect
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