billyhaisley Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Honestly I Hope Most Of The Young USMNTers Suck Because I Hate Their Names<em></em>
The young boys on the USMNT U20 team won their age group’s CONCACAF Championship this weekend. Which, for diehard American soccer fans, should be great, being a good omen for the future and all. But fuck that. I never want to root for anyone with one of these nearly universally terrible names....
Soccer Comes To Atlanta
Dennis Schröder and Monica enjoy the festivities during The Atlanta United FC’s inaugural game, while a bored-looking Yung Joc poses next to them, seeming to belie his claim that “anywhere you meet me, guaranteed to go down.”...
The Replay Technocrats Are Trying To Get Their Hooks Into Soccer
With the widespread implementation of goal-line technology and early experimentation with video replay ongoing, it is clear that technology in soccer officiating is here to stay. Whether that’s a good thing remains to be seen....
Alexis Sánchez Is Almost Certainly Gone, Because Arsenal Are A Joke<em></em>
It’s no big shock that Arsenal emerged from their marquee matchup against Liverpool as the story of the weekend, albeit not in the way the Gunners would’ve liked. The result of that match and its surrounding context means this could prove a pivotal moment in the future of the club and its best playe...
Fernando Torres's Severe Head Injury Sends Fellow Players Into A Panic
Late on in today’s Atlético Madrid-Deportivo match, Fernando Torres clashed with a Deportivo player while going up for a header, and fell face first onto the ground, apparently unconscious. The way Torres fell itself is nasty, but it’s the distraught reaction of the players who saw the injury up clo...
Antoine Griezmann Follows Up Teammate's Near-Miss Wondergoal With Wondergoal Of His Own
Just when it looked like Atlético Madrid would come away empty handed after a deep blast from full back Filipe Luís came crashing off the woodwork, Antoine Griezmann responded almost immediately with an even more audacious hit of his own that sailed over the keeper’s head and into the back of the ne...
Mesut Özil Recounts Ridiculously Dramatic Tiff With José Mourinho In New Book
If you hear about this anecdote from Mesut Özil’s forthcoming autobiography excerpted in Bild, it will probably focus on the fact that when Özil and José Mourinho were at Real Madrid, they once got into an argument in which Mourinho called Özil a coward. This is true, and pretty interesting in itsel...
How Luis Enrique Lost His Place At Barcelona
It’s seemed pretty likely for a while now, and became all but inevitable after the humiliation in Paris last month, but it is now official: Barcelona manager Luis Enrique will not coach the team next season....
Keeper Gets Way Too Mad About Giving Up Goal
Even way down in the ninth tier of English soccer, players do not like to lose. Case in point: Cray Valley Paper Mills FC goalkeeper Jordan Carey’s reaction to this Ashford United goal:...
Sumo Wrestler Extremely Fucked Up By Violent Collision
I don’t know the particulars here, but what I do know is that the above video depicts one big sumo guy slamming into another sumo guy, the injured sumo guy convulsing on the ground and then stumbling in a very pronounced way during his failed attempts to get back on his feet, and that it’s hard to w...
This Horrendous Atlanta United Fan Chant Is The Nadir Of American "Football" Cosplay
If you haven’t yet grasped why American soccer’s penchant for ripping off European fan culture without any of the history or tradition from which the real culture emerged is so embarrassing—think MLS team names like Sporting KC and D.C. United, or incidents like New York Red Bulls “ultras” tossing g...
Danny Drinkwater Strikes Perfect Volley As Leicester Bang On Liverpool
Hm. It’s good that the Leicester fans—who’ve continued supporting this team is if it were still the high-flying title-winning bunch of last season and not the sorry relegation-quality outfit of this year—have something to cheer. Plus, Danny Drinkwater’s delectable volley that gave the home team a 2-...
Future Has Returned And The Sun Is Shining On Us All<em></em>
Future is back....
Shaq's Mom Told Him To Stop Bullying JaVale McGee
And thus ends one of the more perplexing NBA feuds, not with a verbal blowup or a throwing of the hands, but with the instigator being called off by his mommy....
Claudio Ranieri's Statement After Getting Fired Is Sad And Great
Claudio Ranieri has been fired by Leicester City, and he probably deserved it, even after accomplishing the impossible the year before. That doesn’t mean he isn’t still the best, though, as his statement in light of his firing attests:...
JaVale McGee And Shaq Beef On Twitter After Shaq Roasts McGee On TV Again
Human lowlight reel JaVale McGee and Shaq have had beef for a while now. Shaq loves to make fun of the silly stuff McGee (who, it should also be said, is having a really good season with the Warriors) regularly does on the court. McGee, in contrast, hates it. Last night, the beef reached all new, m...
Leicester City Have Fired Title-Winning Manager Claudio Ranieri
Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, the architect of the greatest, most shocking, I-still-can’t-believe-it-happened-even-though-it-definitely-did championship victory in the history of sports, has reportedly been fired today....
Charles Oakley To Attend His First Post-Arrest Knicks Game In Cleveland Tonight
Dan Gilbert is a piece of shit—a slave master mentality-having grifter with skin as thick as tracing paper. That said, let’s laugh at this funny thing he’s doing by reportedly inviting Charles Oakley to tonight’s Cavaliers-Knicks game....
Premier League Ref: Arsène Wenger Told Me To "Fuck Off"
About a month ago, Arsène Wenger got himself a four-match touchline ban for his behavior in a league game between Arsenal and Burnley. We all knew part of the ban was because Wenger pushed the fourth official after being sent to the stands by the head referee, but we didn’t know what exactly he said...
Radamel Falcao Is Resurrected
For most England-focused soccer fans watching yesterday’s Manchester City-Monaco Champions League match, seeing Radamel Falcao’s name in the starting lineup probably elicited more surprised chuckles than brows furrowed in worry or anticipation of what the striker might do. Oh wow, Falcao—that washed...