billyhaisley Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time
Never has an eskimo kiss caused so much imaginary pain....
Salty-Ass Cristiano Ronaldo Flips Out After Teammate Laughs At Him
Regular human beings Danilo and Marcelo shared a laugh during Real Madrid training yesterday after the former did that funny little thing that sometimes happens during piggy-in-the-middle games and passed the ball between Cristiano Ronaldo’s legs. The cyborg Ronaldo must not have had his emotional c...
Lil B Was Too Hip Hop For New York
Although New York hasn’t been the center—or even an especially noteworthy hub, for that matter—of rap music for over a decade, it still holds a special meaning. New York is the Mecca of rap, the fertile soil from which it sprung and where the golden age of hip hop blossomed. This is where Kool Herc ...
Norwegian Soccer Commentators Shocked And Horrified By San Marino Equalizer
The unabashed homers on Norwegian TV reasonably expected a comfortable win against little ol’ San Marino in Norway’s World Cup qualifier on Tuesday. Instead of getting to channel their inner Elated Tiziano Crudeli, they were forced into Distraught Tiziano Crudeli mode when San Marino tied the game a...
Diego Maradona Starts Fight During Cool Pope's Match For Peace
Cool Pope Francis probably regrets calling upon Diego Maradona to suit up for a charity match of the stars in Rome yesterday, after the soccer legend started a fight with compatriot Juan Sebastián Verón in the middle of a match meant to spread a message of peace and togetherness:...
Two Soccer Guys Take Showboating To Whole New Level By Dabbing In Middle Of Game
The post-goal dab celebration is nearly ubiquitous on soccer pitches the world over. Langelihle Ndlovu and Pule Mmodi, members of the Free State Stars’ reserve team in South Africa, took it up a notch by each deciding to hit the dab during open play, an in-your-face effrontery that even Neymar would...
Abby Wambach Still Has Idiotic Takes On The USMNT's Dual Nationals
In an interview with the New York Times, noted bad opinion-haver Abby Wambach was given another opportunity to show her ass on the topic of the USMNT’s use of foreign-born players. Unfortunately, she couldn’t resist:...
Amateur Soccer Man Secures His Spot In Heaven With This Majestic Goal
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle,” Jesus Christ once remarked, “than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” He continued, “But if a soccer man doth line up and crack a sweet shot on goal, and find himself denied by the crossbar, yet resist the weapons of Lucifer as d...
Everton's Oumar Niasse Is The Saddest Man In The Premier League
Oumar Niasse thought all his dreams had come true. After spending the first half of the 2015-16 season crushing it in Russia (12 goals and eight assists in 21 domestic league and European games), the Senegalese striker earned a lucrative move to the land of the TV money and the home of the enormous ...
Hey, Cristiano Ronaldo Scored A Pretty Cool Goal!
Well, well, would you look at this. Global icon, all-time soccer great, and technological marvel (seriously, how did they make this android so convincingly human that it takes a solid 10 minutes or so of listening to him before you realize he was “born” in an evil scientist’s underground bunker?) Cr...
Do Not Watch The Second Half Of This Terrible USMNT-Cuba Game
I know that it’s the very end of the work day at the very end of the work week, and there are only so many options available to distract you during these final interminable minutes before the weekend’s sweet release from responsibility, but I cannot in good faith advise you to spend even a minute of...
Ireland Player Stretchered Off Pitch After Losing Consciousness In Clash Of Heads
Ireland’s Robbie Brady and Georgia’s Saba Kvirkvelia had a nasty head collision in a World Cup Qualifier today, with the game being delayed a solid five minutes while doctors treated the two players. Brady came out worse, as he lost consciousness for a few seconds and had to be taken off of the pitc...
![Soccer Player Gets His Finger All Gnarled To Hell In Freak Accident [WARNING: GRAPHIC]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yyo61hj1rubvhh9vu2we.jpg)
Soccer Player Gets His Finger All Gnarled To Hell In Freak Accident [WARNING: GRAPHIC]
This is a story of love, of toughness, and a horribly, disgustingly mangled finger. Proceed at your own caution....
Deadspin Up All Night: Long Way From Dumb
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
Ghanaian Coach Believes Country Is Failing At Soccer Because Players Fuck Too Much
Former Ghana international-turned-manager, Malik Jabir, is not happy with the state of Ghanaian soccer. To his mind, the players are not realizing their potential though a lack of commitment to the game. And he thinks he knows why, too: players are too tempted by all the sexy Ghanaian women and wind...
Venezuelan Soccer Teen Scores Last-Minute Game Winner From The Center Circle
Venezuelan youth international and Florida State student Deyna Castellanos is really good at kicking the ball. She proved as much during an U-17 World Cup match against Cameroon, when she scored a game-winner deep into stoppage time, immediately off of the kick-off following Cameroon’s equalizer:...
Tiny Soccer Child Already Good Enough To Play Against Big Soccer Boys
I want you to look at this picture of 13-year-old Ivorian-Scot baby, Karamoko Dembélé, as he sits taking in a Celtic U-20 game:...
Why Does Anyone Care What Athletes Have To Say About Politics?
So LeBron James has offered his “endorsement”—since the traditional newspaper endorsement has lost whatever influence it ever had, it doesn’t seem too ridiculous to use the word to describe political support given by a guy who throws leather balls against the ground for a living—of Hillary Clinton f...
Mario Balotelli Watches His Goal From His Butt<em></em>
Rejoice, soccer lovers, for the joy of Mario Balotelli scoring goals is once again a regular part of our lives. The on-fire Nice forward added another one today in the Europa League, cracking this ball with a little jump-slide shot and admiring it as it flies into the net from his backside:...
Aleksandar Mitrović Damn Near Kills Teammate In A Fit Of Ecstasy
Newcastle fought back from a 3-2 deficit against Norwich yesterday with two stoppage time goals to snatch a 4-3 win. Obviously, this had everyone super fuckin’ amped. None more so than Aleksandar Mitrović, who was so caught up in the moment that he almost snapped the winning goalscorer’s neck in cel...