billyhaisley Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chicharito's Hand Is All Kinds Of Messed Up
Javier Hernández is out of Bayer Leverkusen’s season opener this weekend with a hand injury he says—and would you look at that, people seem to actually believe him!—he sustained while falling down a flight of stairs at home. Taking a page from that thin volume known as Good Athlete Tweets, Chicharit...
America's Shameful Youth Development Exposed When 40 Kids Lose To Xabi Alonso And Arturo Vidal
We’ve harped on this point many times before, but sometimes it takes a concise, visual representation of an issue for the masses to internalize it. This video, made during Bayern Munich’s summer U.S. tour, depicting just two men—Xabi Alonso and Arturo Vidal—running roughshod over 40 American kids sh...
Claudio Bravo Died (Er, Joined Manchester City) So That Marc-André ter Stegen Could Live
On behalf of all Barcelona faithful, I’d like to first wish a sincere congratulations to goalkeeper extraordinaire Claudio Bravo and Manchester City for finally sealing their long-awaited union:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Named Best Player In Europe, Wins Creepy-Ass Trophy
Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest soccer-playing cyborg ever made/animated, had a year to remember. First, he dragged Real Madrid to Champions League glory (pulling them through the least daunting field maybe ever, but hey, winning’s winning) in May. For his next feat, he stood on the sidelines with w...
No, Club Soccer's Greatest Tournament Is Not Being Ruined Right Before Our Eyes<em></em>
If you haven’t been paying attention for the last couple decades, European soccer—the premier stage for the world’s most popular sport, where the clubs keep getting bigger and richer as more and more people around the globe get access to the best leagues and competitions, funneling even more money i...
These Two Roma Dudes Damn Near Broke A Couple Porto Players' Legs
Check out the above horror-tackle Roma’s Emerson put on Porto’s Jesús Corona in today’s Champions League playoff, and know that it was only one of two near leg-breakers the Italian team inflicted on their opponents....
Naturally Gifted Striker Sets Up Amazing Goal
Thanks to some poor camera work, the video above doesn’t totally encapsulate the flat-out non-human feat of athleticism that created Thamesmead Town’s crazy-looking goal in the F.A. Cup....
Pop-Tarts Flavors, Ranked
1. Unfrosted blueberry...
Neymar Flipped His Shit On A Heckling Fan Right After Winning Olympic Gold
Brazil has a complex, often combative relationship with its national soccer team. Winning their first Olympic gold medal, as they did on Saturday, to some extent cooled the beef, but obviously not entirely. So this video of an irate Neymar shouting at a fan on the pitch immediately following Brazil’...
Edinson Cavani Put Together A Shitty Performance For The Ages This Weekend<em></em>
To a sympathetic soul trying to surmise a specific and, more importantly, potentially reversible cause for Edinson Cavani’s rapid descent from Top Five Pure Striker to Fernando Torres 2.0, the most coherent case would go something like this: upon joining Paris Saint-Germain, poor Cavani was shunted ...
Wrestling Gold Medalist Has The Best Celebration Of The Olympics
“Oh my God, the gold medal, I can’t believe we did it! Coach, come here! I’m gonna give you the biggest hug ever, I’m just so, so—[Chris Berman voice] WHHAAAAP! Haha, no seriously this time, get up and give me a—WHHAAAAP!”...
Brazil Are Ready To Regain Some Of Their Soccer Dignity In Gold Medal Game
Maybe you, like me, put on Brazil’s first two Olympic soccer matches in the background, halfway monitoring the excitement in the announcers’ voices so as to switch browser windows in time to see one of the presumed dozen or so goals this super-talented team would put past their group stage opponents...
Sweden's Women's Soccer Team Beats Brazil On Penalties To Reach Gold Medal Game
Immediately following the USWNT’s humbling ouster from the Olympics at the hands of a tough-defending Sweden team, salty hater Hope Solo said the Swedes “played like cowards” and that she didn’t “think they’re going to make it far in the tournament.” Add prognostication to the things Solo probably s...
Masked Idiot On The Field Attacks Goalkeeper
It’s always a little strange seeing how calmly soccer players react to Idiots On The Field. Even with some rando hopping onto the pitch and sprinting straight for them, most guys greet the accosting fan with an unnerving placidity. Let’s hope this crazy kid in Sweden, who attacked a goalkeeper in a ...
Yaya Touré And Pep Guardiola Have No Choice But To Play Nice
It’s funny, seeing Yaya Touré and Pep Guardiola say nice things about each other through the media, when it’s pretty clear that that the two probably don’t particularly like each other in the slightest....
The Premier League Kind Of Sucks Right Now And It's Awesome
It would not be an overstatement to call this Premier League season the most anticipated one in years. Coming off the collective disaster on the part of all the league’s biggest clubs last season that allowed something that three years ago you probably would’ve called Lysester City run away with the...
Heh, Look At This Striker Trick The Shit Out Of This Keeper
And the award for “The guy who feels like the biggest dummy in all of the Netherlands right now” goes to Fortuna Sittard’s Leon ter Wielen. No, you don’t get a speech....
After Nearly Two Whole Months Away, Lionel Messi Comes Out Of International Retirement
It seems like so long ago, when we thought we’d said our final goodbye to Lionel Messi’s international career. Try to think back to those times: Messi, still then a brunette, had just suffered another heartbreaking loss with Argentina when they lost on penalties in that year’s Copa América, England ...
Sweden Knock The USWNT Out Of The Olympics On Penalties
After a strangely stilted, disjointed performance, the USWNT has been kicked out of a major international tournament before the semifinal stage for the first time ever. Sweden were good, the U.S. were pretty bad, and the refereeing was worse....
Tottenham Manager's Feelings Toward Players After Last Season's Collapse: "I Wanted To Kill All Of Them"
When we last heard from Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino at the end of last season, he could barely contain his rage following Spurs’ embarrassing defeat to Newcastle, which capped what was almost a perfect season with yet another humiliating St. Totteringham’s Day. He has not forgotten that da...