billyhaisley Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Messi A Fool
Behold Lionel Messi’s perfect overhead-kick assist from today’s friendly against Sampdoria in all its glory:...

José Mourinho And Manchester United Are Really Feeling Themselves After The Pogba Deal
Yes, Manchester United won a huge, potentially era-defining victory when they convinced Paul Pogba to join them this summer. It makes sense that everyone at the club would be ecstatic about it. What is less necessary is the way the club, and shit-talk lover José Mourinho himself, appear to be using ...

Ping-Pong Is The Perfect Olympic Sport
Like the opening week of March Madness—the best part of that tournament—part of the joy of watching the Olympics is the overwhelming amount of action. At any point in the day, you can flip on the TV and take in a wide variety of sports and “sports,” and in the same way that the promise of happening ...

Paul Pogba's Move To Manchester United Is All About The Money
In the end, the process was simpler than many imagined. Any serious follower of the game has predicted for years that, when Paul Pogba—absurdly precocious and ludicrously talented Juventus midfielder—was finally convinced that he’d outgrown the Bianconeri and Serie A and decided to make the leap fro...

Bad Soccer Man Smacks The Piss Out Of A Referee
Our latest example of Bad Soccer Manning comes courtesy of Daniel Pedrosa in Guatemala’s third division. The player didn’t like seeing the referee’s red card after Pedrosa appeared to bump into him, decided that the ref didn’t deserve to be able to see out of his left eye, and sent his forehead and ...

Scottish Club's Keeper Swings And Misses, Leading To Really Dumb Own Goal
Here is Aberdeen’s Joe Lewis, re-enacting that embarrassing time in elementary school when the kickball pitcher served you up a duck just waiting to be crushed, but you tried so hard to kill it that you whiffed. Unfortunately for Lewis, he did it in a decisive Europa League qualifying match, meaning...

So It Looks Like Barcelona Will Be Pretty Good This Season
Yes, it’s just a friendly against Premier League champions (still insane to say that) Leicester City. But despite playing only three players from what will be Barcelona’s best line-up when the season kicks off for real, the Spanish squad is showing that they are in fact still incredible. In case the...

Fan Leaps Down Into Tunnel To Get A Moment With Messi; Is Promptly Sacked By Security
It’s not often that Lionel Messi finds himself in Dublin, Ireland wowing fans with his soccer artistry. Wanting to make the occasion—a Barcelona-Celtic friendly held last weekend—as special as possible, one fan decided to throw caution to the wind and hopped down out of the stands and into the stadi...

Women's Youth Soccer Championship Featured Terrible Pitch, Even Worse Miss
Yesterday, France and Spain met in the Women’s U-19 Euro final. Torrential rain before and during the match—and the baffling decision not to cancel play on a count of the pitch being a swamp—meant there was always the threat of something truly zany and/or horrifying happening. That threat was realiz...

Soccer Team Kicks Opponent's Ass In Game; Fans Literally Kick Opponent's Ass After It
You might’ve thought that fans of Bella Vista would’ve been content to merely bask in the glory of their team’s title-winning victory against Tiro Federal in one of Argentina’s lower divisions, but this is soccer and Argentina. What was the final whistle for the match itself was the starting sound f...

Juventus's Ungodly Fee For Gonzalo Higuaín Is Well Worth It
Okay, sure. When you first saw the name Gonzalo Higuaín—one part veteran, world-class, goalscoring bulldozer, one part habitual choke artist—associated with a transfer fee teetering dangerously close to the €100 million mark, you probably had to clench your eyes closed and press the palms of your ha...

Chelsea Players Don't Know Anything About America
Out in sunny California for their preseason training/money-grabbing tour, a few Chelsea players took a break from running their legs off to be tested on their knowledge of American history. They, uh, don’t know much....

Dad Tricks Little Leaguer Into Thinking He Forgot His Birthday
Oh, so this is why you have kids....

Mario Balotelli Crashes Wedding Photoshoot
Mario Balotelli’s career may be in shambles, as one of the most talented young forwards in the world languishes alongside the teens that make up Liverpool’s reserve team as the club desperately searches for some sucker to offload him on, but hey, at least he still does funny things from time to time...

You Really Don't Want To Watch Demba Ba's Super Nasty Broken Leg
We’ve seen our fair share of disgusting-looking leg injuries, but watching Demba Ba’s heretofore straight shin turn into the letter Z in a Shangai Shenhua-Shanghai SIPG game is probably the worst of them all. That poor, poor man....

The Newest Front In The Barcelona-Real Madrid Rivalry Is Photoshopping Ronaldo's Abs
For the motivated and inspired, there is a nearly unending list of things you can criticize and/or laugh at Cristiano Ronaldo about. One of the few things not on that list is disputing the chiseled nature of every inch of the man’s body. And yet a Catalan TV station tried exactly that when they snuc...

Defender Shows Off Technique, Sweet Shooting Stroke With Impressive Own Goal
There’s so much quality in this Žarko Udovičić goal that you really need to watch the full video over and over to truly appreciate it all:...

Ronaldo's Performance During Euro Final Was Like Christ's Victory Over Sin And Death, Says His Sister
Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t turn water into wine or rise from the dead or even play the vast majority of the Euro 2016 final Portugal won last weekend. But he did hurt his knee and cry, which was apparently enough for his sister to compare him to Christ on the cross....

Something Like 20 Dudes Try To Stop Ramires From Murdering A Referee
Remember Ramires, that quiet, unassuming, indefatigable midfielder you used to see running around in Chelsea’s blue or Brazil’s yellow? Well, he’s in China now, and apparently something—the air, the food, the refereeing—has eroded his sanguine demeanor in just a few short months....

Graziano Pellè Newest Player To Get Stupid Rich By Going To China<em></em>
International tournaments are prime opportunities for both emerging and established talents to showcase their skills on the biggest stages in hopes of securing a move to a more prestigious team or league, and the raise that usually comes with. Graziano Pellè played well enough at the recently conclu...