billyhaisley Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Dominated The Euro 2016 Final Without Even Playing
Eventually, as the days become months and months become years after yesterday’s Euro 2016 final, where Portugal bested France in extra time, no one will remember that it was the poorly played—though passionate—conclusion to a tournament that itself was stuffed with teams that played like our endeari...
Sweet Little Portuguese Boy Consoles Crying French Fan
It’s going to be so sad when these two grow up and are beating the shit out of each other in Euro 2024....
Two Exquisite Flicks Of Feet Gave France The Decisive 2-0 Lead Over Germany
This goal—Antoine Griezmann’s second on the day and the only two of the match that has sent tournament hosts France into the Euro 2016 final—is all about two touches. The first is that lightning-quick little stab of Paul Pogba’s right foot that allows him to burst into space while leaving Shkodran M...
This Is Definitely The Best Goal You'll See From An Amateur Keeper In America This Year
The league: the U.S.’s National Premier Soccer League. The team: FC Wichita. The opponent: the Shreveport Rafters. The player: goalkeeper Mark Weir. The announcer’s perfectly apt call: “Mark Weir just scored a freakin’ goal!”...
Selfie-Taking, Photo-Bombing Ball Boy Had Best Performance Of Portugal-Wales Game
Where Portugal and Wales failed to actualize their best selves during yesterday’s bland Euro semifinal, this enterprising teen ball boy put together a performance for the ages, one every subsequent ball boy will aspire to replicate....
Deadspin Up All Night: Have My Next Baby
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
Boring Euro 2016 Got The Boring Portugal-Wales Semifinal It Deserves
Euro 2016 has kind of sucked. There haven’t been more than about four honest-to-goodness entertaining games, the over-expanded field and the resulting imbalanced matchups have given us too many teams too content to play—“play”—for 0-0 draws, and only a couple of the best teams and players have put o...
Lionel Messi Convicted Of Tax Fraud, Given 21-Month Suspended Prison Sentence<em></em>
Today, Lionel Messi and his father Jorge—the latter who oversaw his son’s finances—were both convicted of defrauding the Spanish tax authorities for €4.1 million. They were given a suspended sentence of 21 months in prison, which will not result in any actual jail time....
UEFA Is Sick And Tired Of All These Adorable Children
Some of the most endearing images from the Euros were snapped after Wales beat Belgium in the quarterfinals, when some of the ecstatic Welshmen celebrated the feat alongside their adorable children. Naturally, the haters at UEFA didn’t like these photos of pure joy and don’t want the scenes to be re...
Russian Players Punished For Allegedly Spending €250K On Champagne After Euros Loss
The video you see above—in which an unending stream of bartenders at a Monaco nightclub lug bucket after bucket after bucket of Armand de Brignac champagne (about €500 per bottle, times the reported 500 bottles in circulation, equalling a €250,000 bar tab—not counting tip and sparkler fees) to the t...
José Mourinho Is Back, And He's His Old Shit-Talking Self
The José Mourinho Era at Manchester United officially kicked off today as the Portuguese manager was finally unveiled for the job he’s not-so-secretly pined after for years and we’ve all known he would get for months. Judging by the track suit he slipped into for the photo op on Old Trafford’s pitch...
Cristiano Ronaldo Freaked The Fuck Out During The Portugal-Poland Penalty Shootout
We’re used to seeing Cristiano Ronaldo as the picture of confidence, swaggering around the pitch with his chest all puffed and his chin to the sky. But Ronaldo is indeed human (or at least has recently underwent a software upgrade which included a new and incredibly realistic human behavior-miming m...
Sweet Mother Of God, Radja Nainggolan Kicked This Ball So Hard
If you want to see what a perfectly struck shot from distance looks like, Radja Nainggolan’s deep jackhammer goal he just scored for Belgium against Wales is it:...
Renato Sanches Is Super Cute And Super Good
Yesterday’s Portugal-Poland match started in surprisingly auspicious fashion, considering it was a match between two teams with only a passing interest in doing anything fun or exciting in an effort to go out and win. Poland’s Robert Lewandowski scored the game’s first goal less than two minutes aft...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Finally Confirms That He's Going To Manchester United
In an announcement shocking nobody, Zlatan Ibrahimović confirmed today that he will in fact be rejoining his old boss José Mourinho at Manchester United next season....
Shanghai SIPG Just Made Hulk One Of The Highest-Earning Soccer Players In The World
Lest you thought the last winter transfer window—in which a series of Chinese clubs proceeded to obliterate our understanding of and expectations for the international transfer market—was a fluke, here come Shanghai SIPG breaking records once again by dropping an unreal amount of money for Brazilian...
Nearly Every Single TV In Iceland Had The Iceland-England Game On<em></em>
If I were Icelandic, I’d do just about everything in my power to get myself in front of a TV whenever my sweet boys in blue suited up during this miraculous Euro 2016 run of theirs. Apparently, actual Icelanders feel the same way, as almost literally every TV in the country was tuned in for Iceland’...
There Is So Much Going On In This GIF Of Soccer Fans Dancing Their Hearts Out
The following GIF of a section of Real Salt Lake fans hamming it up for the camera can only be fully appreciated the way you appreciate a Tati movie: after repeated viewings, with your eyes drinking in as much of the frame-suffusing action as possible:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Everything That It Desires
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
Northern Ireland Fans Give Hero's Reception To Guy Who Played Zero Minutes In Euro 2016
Northern Ireland fans welcomed their boys back from their successful Euro 2016 run with a huge homecoming reception in Belfast today. While undoubtedly grateful to each of the 23 players who made up the squad that surprised everyone by making it out of the group stage, and especially to the 18 guys ...