billyhaisley Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
See, The USMNT Isn't Terrible After All!
As Clint Dempsey strutted over toward the corner flag after converting a penalty in the 9th minute that gave the Americans the all-important, pressure valve-releasing lead on Costa Rica, he channeled his inner Cristiano Ronaldo and mimicked the Real Madrid forward’s famous “Calma” gesture. “Settle d...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Don't Want Patience
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Greek Guy Scores The Goal Of His Life From Behind The Halfway Line
Safe to say Greece’s Ioannis Maniatis will never top this jaw-dropping 60-yard bomb he hit today in a friendly against Australia. Not a bad way to peak....
Chelsea Settle Former Team Doctor's Lawsuit Against Club And José Mourinho
After José Mourinho blew up on then-Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro during a game back in August, apparently for her unforgivable sin of tending to an injured player, and after he then demoted her for said unforgivable sin, and after Carneiro was like “Screw this, I’m out of here, and I’m suing all...
I Can't Stop Watching Luis Suárez Waving His Hand Like A Weirdo
Seriously, who does it like this?...
Holy Hell, Are Arsenal Really About To Buy Jamie Vardy?
Normally, we don’t like contributing to the transfer rumor-industrial complex, where newspapers and websites churn out story after story about hypothetical moves backed up with the thinnest evidentiary threads that almost never actually happen. This, however, is different. This is crazy....
FIFA's New President Has A Couple Huge Scandals Brewing Already
Just a couple of months ago, newly elected FIFA president Gianni Infantino promised to usher in an era of accountability for soccer’s scandal-ravaged governing body. Not a month ago, he declared FIFA’s annus horribilis officially over, while quietly snatching unprecedented executive authority. And n...
Hatem Ben Arfa Won't Be At The Euros, But Let's Watch Him Flay Defenders Anyway
Overshadowed in the international selection controversy sparked by Eric Cantona’s comments and Karim Benzema’s fanning of the flames was Cantona’s lamentation that Hatem Ben Arfa wasn’t called up for the France team for the Euros. As understandable as the Ben Arfa snub is, it’s still sad. Because Be...
Karim Benzema Blames Racism—Not His Alleged Involvement In Blackmailing Teammate Over Sex Tape—For Euros Snub
In normal circumstances, Karim Benzema would be at the top of the world right now. Fresh off a great season at Real Madrid that culminated in Champions League glory, he should be getting ready to lead France in the Euro 2016 tournament as the host nation’s best player. Instead, he’ll be watching it ...
Neymar Sucks At Baseball
Barcelona forward Neymar is currently spending part of what passes for an offseason (in just a few weeks he’ll be off training with the national team for the Olympics) here in New York City. Like many a soccer star visiting the states, Neymar has dabbled in the local sports culture, taking in a Mets...
Paul Pogba Is A Goddamn Freak
This is one of those goal highlights where I couldn’t care less about what the scorer—in this case, France’s Olivier Giroud, who finished the play with a nice little volley—does. The only thing I’m here for is this spectacular long-range cross by Paul Pogba. It’s unreal....
So What If Real Madrid Got Lucky?
Depending on your prejudices and proclivities, there are two ways you can view Real Madrid overcoming Atlético Madrid on penalties in this weekend’s tense but unspectacular Champions League final. One’s perhaps a little too cynical, the other a touch too positive, but both are mostly fair and accura...
Deadspin Up All Night: A Long Way
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Cristiano Ronaldo's Son Trolled Him Again
It’s official now: Cristiano Ronaldo’s son already has the natural impulses of a seasoned troll, at only five years old. We knew about his huge fandom of Ronaldo’s biggest rival, Lionel Messi, we’ve seen him tweak his grandma along those same lines, and we’re pretty confident Junior knew what he was...
Mike Francesa Is Very Annoyed That <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Put Lionel Messi On Its Cover
If Mike Francesa’s visceral disdain for soccer didn’t come through clear enough when he stumbled his way through a simple MLS ad read last week, today’s rant aimed at SI for their decision to dedicate the mag’s cover to Lionel Messi and a big portion of its coverage (specifically, as Mike discovers:...
Chelsea Literally Own "José Mourinho"
If you’re wondering why it’s been taking Manchester United and José Mourinho to seal their inevitable marriage, you’re not alone. With all the big things like salary and years and the like already hammered out per reports, all that’s left are the small details. Only the small details in internationa...
What Does Brendan Rodgers Really Want Out Of This Celtic Job?
Brendan Rodgers—one of the hottest young names in management just a couple of years ago thanks to his exploits leading a ragtag Liverpool group to the precipice of the Premier League title—selected the next destination on his coaching career this past Friday. At Celtic. In Scotland. Not exactly foll...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Don't Make Lefts, I Only Turn On Rights
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Here's An Old Video Of Peter Crouch Getting Funky At An EDM Concert
Peter Crouch is most known for 1) being a lumbering giant of a striker who somehow parlayed his head’s altitude and the middling skills that came with the rest of his body into a surprisingly good career with the English national team, and 2) for doing the Robot a few times after scoring. Thanks to ...
Italy Manager On Pirlo And Giovinco Snubs: If You Play In MLS, You Pay The Consequences
Antonio Conte, manager of the Italian national team, has the distinct misfortune of heading into a major international tournament with the worst crop of Italian players in recent memory. So unimpressive is the 30-man preliminary roster he just announced, the bulk of which will make up the squad he t...