billyhaisley Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manchester City Crowned Champions Of Tightest Premier League Title Race Ever
After the season-long struggle between Manchester City and Liverpool to determine which club would have the slightly more perfect season and be named Premier League champion, it all came down to today, the final matchday of the season. And while it was tight there for a while, City did as expected a...
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Arsenal And Chelsea Advance To Europa League Final, Making Both European Finals All-English Affairs
Arsenal and Chelsea both qualified for the Europa League final today by advancing past Valencia and Eintracht Frankfurt, respectively. That means both the Europa League and Champions League finals will be contested by English clubs, officially consecrating 2019 as the year of Premier League supremac...
Barcelona's Loss To Liverpool Was No One's And Everyone's Fault
It’s the how that really stings. That Barcelona, a very good team that nonetheless suffers from several glaring deficiencies, lost in the Champions League semifinals to Liverpool, one of only two truly great teams in Europe this season and probably the one best equipped to solve the particular probl...
Champions League Madness Continues As Tottenham Gut Ajax With Last Minute Game-Winning Goal
In the most amazing soccer comeback in the history of the world, or at least since yesterday, Tottenham pulled off a stunning come-from-behind win over Ajax today to advance to the Champions League final....
Vincent Kompany's Pile-Driver Goal Keeps Manchester City's Title Hopes Alive
No matter what happened in today’s Manchester City-Leicester City match, this brain-meltingly tight Premier League title race was going to come down to the final day of the season. But with the absolute screamer Vincent Kompany scored to give Man City the win today, the Citizens managed to put all f...
Goalkeeper Pulls Off The Rare Cheap Shot-Flop-Red Card Trifecta
Allan McGregor, goalkeeper for Scottish Premiership club Rangers, displayed some truly astounding audacity in a match against Hibernian this weekend. Not only did he sneakily jump up and kick a Hibs player in the back in response to a minor annoyance, and not only did he fall on the ground clutching...
Old Man Messi's Still Got It
If you wanted evidence of time’s inevitable erosion of even the most resistant of talents, you would’ve found it just before halftime of today’s Barcelona-Liverpool Champions League semifinal. It was then that Lionel Messi intercepted a backpass just past the halfway line, found himself essentially ...
MLS Has Turned Carlos Vela Into Lionel Messi
As MLS has pivoted away from importing its star power via aged former greats and toward a strategy of bringing in younger players who, by talent or drive or personality, couldn’t quite make it at the sport’s highest levels, the league has had more success at presenting fans with players capable of r...
Perfection Is Now The Standard In Pep Guardiola's Premier League
The fundamental idea undergirding the pervading ideology of Premier League exceptionalism is that the English league is uniquely competitive. All the manifestations of this exceptionalism—from the holding of the Premier League title above all other domestic league trophies and nearly on par with the...
This Penalty Kick Is So Bad That The Player Who Took It Was Immediately Cut
It’s been quite the whirlwind week for Venezuelan soccer player Bendix Parra. Last Tuesday, he was a starter in one of the biggest matches in the history of his club, Paraguay’s Independiente. This Tuesday, he found himself unemployed when Independiente tore up his contract. All of this for one espe...
Shane Long Sets New Premier League Record For Fastest Goal By Scoring In Seven Seconds
Shane Long wasted literally no time putting Southampton up on Watford today, throwing his body in front of a Craig Cathcart pass and running onto the deflected ball before flipping it over Watford’s keeper just 7.69 seconds into the match, making it the fastest goal ever scored in Premier League his...
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MLS, Which Is Definitely Not A Ponzi Scheme, Wants To Expand By Adding Three New Teams For $200 Million Each
Are you: A) obscenely wealthy, B) in possession of or willing to form a soccer team domiciled in the U.S. or Canada, and C) looking for a foolproof way to take that soccer investment to the next level? If so, then boy, do I have great news for you!...
Amateur MMA Fighter Beats Up Man Jerking Off In Front Of Her During Beach Photoshoot
Brazilian mixed martial artist Joyce Vieira was posing for a swimsuit photoshoot on a Rio de Janeiro beach earlier this month when she noticed a nearby man staring at her with his penis out, masturbating. Vieira first tried using her words to get the creep to cut it out, but when diplomacy failed, s...
VAR Will Ruin Everything
Yesterday, millions around the world watched Raheem Sterling cap one of the wildest matches they will ever see with a stunning last-gasp winning goal, only to be told a minute or so later that it never happened....
Ajax Have Slain Cristiano Ronaldo, Giant Of The Champions League
For only the second time in six seasons, Cristiano Ronaldo will not win the Champions League. For the first time in a decade, and only the second time in 13 years, he won’t even appear in one of the four semi-finals. Cristiano Ronaldo, the man who has loomed over the continent’s premier tournament l...
F.A. Panel Says Wayne Hennessey Is Too Stupid To Have Done Nazi Salute
No one could have been more delighted to hear that Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey is apparently a huge idiot than Wayne Hennessey himself. That’s because the F.A. panel tasked with investigating a photo in which the Welsh keeper appeared to have been making a Nazi salute gesture cited tha...
Deadspin Up All Night: Tus Bezos Y Tus Abrazos
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Leeds Fan Breaks Ankle While Celebrating A Goal, Waits Until After The Game To Go To Hospital
With a tight 1-0 home win over Sheffield Wednesday this weekend, Leeds United took a big step toward sealing promotion to the Premier League next season. In the explosion of joy following Jack Harrison’s 65th minute goal, one Leeds fan exploded his ankle during his raucous celebration, which require...