billyhaisley Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Israeli Soccer Medics Don't Know How To Use A Stretcher, Drop Injured Player
If these medics really are as incompetent as their Greek counterparts, unable to execute a simple task like taking a hobbled player off the pitch on a stretcher, then they probably shouldn’t have their jobs. If instead this was an elaborate team-building exercise—...
Players Resist Urge To Knock Out Referee After Getting Screwed Out Of A Goal
This is just unreal. Right after Accrington Stanley’s (yes, that’s actually the name of the team) striker Billy Kee had fired in what should’ve been the opening goal against AFC Wimbledon, the referee for some reason decided to blow the halftime whistle, nullifying the goal. The game ended 0-0....
Lionel Messi Was On One Yesterday
Lionel Messi scored twice in Barcelona’s 4-0 win over Eibar yesterday, though neither the scoreline nor Messi’s goal tally accurately reflect just how transcendent a show Argentine winger put on. As is so often the case in that inimitable version of Messi domination, it was everything around the sco...
Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass
The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to...
God, If You're Really There, Please Let Leicester Win The Premier League Title
We’ve come so close these last few years to witnessing something truly spectacular, a season-long performance of such improbable greatness that it sows hope in the hearts of fans and neutrals alike, proving that there can be something more to success and failure in the Premier League than the mere a...
Dumbass American Has The Stupidest Ideas On How To "Fix" The Champions League
What you’re about to read is really, really stupid. Like, snap-your-laptop-in-two-over-your-knee stupid. Seal-up-Europe’s-borders-Donald-Trump-style-to-keep-out-Americans stupid. And as a soccer fan on this side of the Atlantic who doesn’t share sports executive Charlie Stillitano’s braindead takes ...
Fulham Catfished Their Own Players To Show The Dangers Of Flirting With Teens Online
Second-tier English club Fulham have taken the implications of former Sunderland winger Adam Johnson’s conviction on three criminal charges stemming from his relationship with a 15-year-old girl very seriously. To alert their players to the dangers of using social media to connect with pretty, young...
Spanish Coach Once Showed His Players A Porno To Pump Them Up Before A Game
Apparently Louis van Gaal isn’t the only manager who wants his players to be horny for victory. One coach who shared the Dutchman’s preference for literal hard men, Joaquín Caparrós, even went as far as incorporating porn in a pregame talk to ram his point home....
Look At This Goalkeeper Just Punch The Ball Into His Own Net
Málaga goalkeeper Carlos Kameni is usually really good. Yesterday, when trying to deal with a pretty straightforward Valencia cross, he did something really bad:...
How To Beat Leicester
Leicester City’s demolition job of the Premier League’s traditional caste system, an assault they’ve kept up long past the point where anyone could still consider them a fluke, offers a few insights into which cracks in this cash-rules-everything-around-me league’s foundation can be exploited by a s...
Adam Johnson Convicted Of Sexual Activity With A Child, Faces Up To 10 Years In Prison
One year to the day after being arrested for having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl, and about a month after pleading guilty to two charges related to the case, former Sunderland winger Adam Johnson has been convicted of another charge of sexual activity with a child—one of the two bro...
The Premier League Title Race Is Impossibly Close And So Much Fun
The enduring memory of this weekend’s Premier League action—from Leicester flirting with disaster against Norwich before pulling it out late on Saturday, to Tottenham and Arsenal struggling to keep their own title hopes alive against Swansea and Manchester United, respectively—is just how stupidly f...
Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half
Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...
Defender Admits Manchester United's Memphis Depay Beat His Ass So Bad He Almost Cried
While virtually unknown striker Marcus Rashford’s unbelievable and hilarious two-goal senior team debut was the biggest story coming out of yesterday’s Manchester United-Midtjylland match, the true star on the day was Memphis Depay. He absolutely obliterated the Midtjylland defense, running up and d...
Why FIFA's Unambitious New President Might Be Good News For Reform
To my mind, the most telling thing to come from this entire, interminable Extraordinary FIFA Congress wasn’t the election itself—in which Gianni Infantino, previously the general secretary of UEFA, became the new president of soccer’s powerful and scandal-ravaged governing body—nor was it the indivi...
![Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ysq02t1fnmv0ryalypvi.jpg)
Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]
In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...
Hahaha, What The Hell Kind Of Ingenious Rainbow Goal Is This?
This goal, scored by Ranger’s striker Kenny Miller, is crazy. The ball’s trajectory is less a dipping curler and more a meteor falling out of the sky and somehow landing in the side netting. It’s a curve you’d learn to plot in high school math class with your graphing calculator come to life. The go...
Yaya Touré Belter Saves Manchester City From Themselves
He’s been doing it for years now, but it’s still ridiculous just how good Yaya Touré is at scoring goals. This curler, knocked in from the top of the box at the end of Manchester City’s match against Dynamo Kiev, was as important as it was pretty, as it all but sealed City’s progression into the nex...
Louis van Gaal Urges His Players To Get Rock Hard For Victory
So that’s what Louis van Gaal means when he says he pumps up Manchester United’s players before matches....