billyhaisley Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keeper Thinks He's Ronaldinho Or Some Shit, Gives Up A Goal While Juggling Ball
Tending goal may be kind of boring compared to the other positions in soccer, but just because you don’t get much time on the ball to show off your tekkers doesn’t mean the answer is to start playing keepy-uppy with a back pass as a man charges you down, as Lincoln City’s Paul Farman learned the har...
Soccer Ref In Argentina Murdered On The Field By Player He Red-Carded
César Flores was refereeing an amateur soccer match in the Córdoba province of Argentina when he sent one player off. In anger, the player left the field to get something from his bag. A short time later, the player returned to the field with a gun and shot the ref to death....
Barcelona Will Stomp On Your Throat And Make It Look Pretty As Hell
It will never be remembered, but this weekend’s Barcelona-Celta Vigo match, which finished 6-1 thanks to a Luis Suárez hat trick, a collection of stunning and inventive instances of Lionel Messi’s trademark magic, and a single iconic moment when Barcelona’s three world-conquering forwards took the i...
Arsenal Just Took A Sledgehammer To Leicester’s Glass Slippers
You’d be hard-pressed to find a purer distillation of why Arsenal beat Leicester City yesterday 2-1, and of why the Gunners were always likely to eventually run down for the league title the greatest story in sports, than that final fateful sequence....
Italian Soccer Fan Has Hell Of A Time Calming Down His Rowdy Paisani
As the Napoli team bus set off for Turin ahead of tomorrow’s monster Juventus-Napoli showdown, something like 1,000 Neapolitans showed up to see their boys off. Or, more accurately, to block the bus’s path in order to hoot and holler and light flares and gin up the players so that they step out on t...
Wow, So This FIFA Exec Was An Even Bigger Corrupt Sleazeball Than We Thought, Huh?
When Jérôme Valcke—formerly Sepp Blatter’s righthand man as FIFA secretary general—was suspended and investigated after documents tying him to a shady World Cup ticket reselling racket came out, we all thought we were dealing with your run-of-the-mill venal FIFA greaseball. Now that FIFA has conclud...
Prosecutors Lay Out Details In Adam Johnson's Child Sex Case
The trial of recently-cut Sunderland winger Adam Johnson on charges related to his sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl started today, which means we’re starting to learn the details of what exactly Johnson did to get in this situation. According to the prosecution’s version of events, they a...
Cardiff Owner Gives Players A Lesson On How To Score, Both On And Off The Field
Vincent Tan, the rich, mustachioed goober and sartorial terrorist who owns Cardiff City, is a curious man with curious ideas. Remember when he insisted on turning the Bluebirds red, calling them the Dragons, and trying to sign players who had eights in their birthdates? He may have been harangued in...
Relive Dele Alli's Wondergoal In Hand-Drawn Animated Form
It’s hard to imagine another goal in this season’s Premier League topping that marvelous juggling number Tottenham’s Dele Alli scored a few weeks ago, so it’s only right that this work of art be recreated in another work of art—this time done in crayon. It’s so good both ways....
Sunderland Player Released After Pleading Guilty To Sexual Activity With A Child
A day after Sunderland winger Adam Johnson pleaded guilty to two charges stemming from a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl, the club has reportedly terminated Johnson’s contract:...
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This Spanish Teen's Flop Makes A Strong Case That Diving Should Be Punishable By Death
Most dives are fine. Some dives are bad. But few dives are so egregious that you skip over the whole “Should the player get a yellow for that?” logic and instead head right to the barn for the pitchfork. Valencia youth teamer David Pascual pulled off one of those:...
Liverpool Fans Get Their Wish As Club Agrees To Two-Year Ticket Price Freeze
Through staunch public opposition, a coordinated stadium walk-out, and a strongly-worded video critique of the squad, the powers that be at Liverpool have scrapped their proposal to raise the prices of tickets....
Borussia Dortmund Fans Protest Ticket Prices By Raining Tennis Balls Onto Pitch
Like Liverpool fans, Borussia Dortmund supporters are also in the midst of a cold war against ticket pricing hikes. The German fans made their feelings perfectly evident yesterday by boycotting the first 20 minutes of the BVB-Stuttgart cup match, then interrupting the game by lobbing a bunch of tenn...
Two French Soccer Ladies Hash Out Their Differences By Brawling On The Field
What inspired Maude Perchey of Rouen and Bordeaux’s Eva Sumo to cease competing against one another within the strictures of soccer’s rule book and instead elect to get into some gangsta shit, we don’t know. What we do know is that Perchey throws punches like she’s trying to decapitate her opponent,...
Liverpool Fan Cannot Fookin' Believe The Club's New Ticket Prices
You could spend hours reading various takes about why Liverpool’s board has seen fit to increase their stadium ticket prices, why fans are upset about this, and the relative merits of both sides. Or you could listen to this guy’s hilarious rant which distills the whole controversy to its very essenc...
Goddammit, Benteke, Again?!?
If you can’t tell from the angle above, that is Liverpool’s Christian Benteke bearing down on West Ham’s goalkeeper in extra time of their FA Cup replay. If you know anything about the striker in question, you can guess what happened next:...
Paul Pogba Went And Got A Damn Poké Ball Cut Into His Head
Look, I’m normally not the type to criticize someone for an adventurous and unorthodox haircut. Lord knows I’ve had my share of the same. And in fact, I’ve supported the different looks Paul Pogba has tried out in recent times, some of which I’ll get to below. But this Pokémon-inspired deal is a bri...
Chinese Club's Enormous Bid For Oscar Shows China Is Serious About This Shit
If all the mid-tier European-quality players the Chinese Super League has bought this transfer window haven’t hammered home just how serious the league is about getting really good really fast, and if the purchase of potential top-end talents like Jackson Martínez and Alex Teixeira for gobs of money...
Roberto Martínez Was Really Getting It In At The Jason Derulo Concert
Everton manager Roberto Martínez is young and hip. It’s no surprise, then, to see him turn up at a Jason Derulo concert in Manchester last night and, well, turn up. Maybe also not that surprising: Martínez’s dance moves aren’t exactly the sharpest:...