billyhaisley Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Like Clockwork
Cross the ball, head the ball, score a goal. It is the simplest tactic in soccer. It is what practically all teams resort to when the need for a goal is at its most dire. It is a strategy without frills or subtlety. When it works, it is nearly unstoppable. However, it very rarely works—rarely in a s...
Tottenham Overcome Terrible Luck To Beat Manchester City
Tottenham fans could be forgiven for believing that their club is cursed. It seems like Spurs somehow give up that one goal or lose that one game or suffer that one injury that consigns them to failure at the least convenient possible times, even during this miraculously successful spell under manag...
Diego Costa Red Carded For Threatening To Poop On Referee's Mother
Luis Suárez and Lionel Messi each scored in Barcelona’s 2-0 win over Atlético Madrid on Saturday to all but mathematically seal the league title, but no one player did more to ensure Barça’s victory than Atleti’s Diego Costa, who got red carded early on in the match for literally talking shit about ...
Gerard Deulofeu May Not Be The Next Big Thing, But Try Telling Him That
You might not think it from the look on his face, but the photo above depicts a man immediately after he scored a monumentally important goal. Or maybe, in the confidence of his statuesque pose—his expressionless and stationary presenting of himself to the crowd, the way it feels like he’s saying to...
Raúl Jiménez Finally Found A Place Where He Can Be The Hero
Yesterday, Premier League club Wolverhampton made Raúl Jiménez the most expensive Mexican player ever by paying a reported transfer fee of £30 million to make the on-loan striker’s move to the West Midlands permanent. The signing is a savvy one from Wolves’ perspective, as they get a proven goalscor...
Deadspin Up All Night: Wearing Gators To It
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep fucking around....
Italian Soccer's Latest Response To Racist Fan Behavior Is Embarrassing
The biggest story at Juventus today should be the whirlwind ascent of the baby-faced striker phenom, Moise Kean. Yesterday, the 19-year-old Italian of Ivorian descent scored the match-killing goal against Cagliari, his fourth goal in his last four games for club and country. And while Kean is indeed...
Virgil van Dijk Didn't Slip
I don’t know who is going to win the Premier League this season. Manchester City should be slight favorites over Liverpool because of their better record and superior depth, but the margins separating the two clubs are so minute that it’s impossible to feel strongly one way or the other. What does s...
Now Ole Gunnar Solskjær Has A Chance To Prove He's The Real Deal
I’d bet there isn’t a person with decision-making power at Manchester United who saw this coming, other than maybe Ole Gunnar Solskjær himself. But here we are, with United rewarding Solskjær for his complete turnaround of what looked like a lost season by officially making him the club’s permanent ...
Even American Soccer Fandom Is Plagued By Pay-To-Play
If you had to point out a single factor that most contributes to the U.S.’s stunted development as a soccer nation, you could make a good case for pay-to-play as the culprit. Pay-to-play is the system that sections off the best youth coaching and competition and reserves it only for those who can af...
MLB Suspends Giants CEO Larry Baer Without Pay For Physical Altercation With His Wife
The MLB front office announced today that commissioner Robert Manfred has suspended San Francisco Giants CEO and minority owner Larry Baer until July 1 of this year—essentially half the baseball season—without pay for the altercation with his wife that was caught on video and published by TMZ earlie...
Inept Soccer Team Takes Fifty-Four (54) Shots And Scores Zero (0) Goals
Bolivian club Nacional Potosí hosted Venezuelan club Zulia last night in a Copa Sudamericana match, South America’s equivalent to the Europa League. Nacional had 79 percent possession of the ball and popped off a staggering 54 shots. Zulia took just six shots all night and completed just 47 percent ...
Dickhead Soccer Fans Wrench Player's Jersey From The Hands Of Sobbing Little Boy
A soccer-loving Brazilian tyke learned first-hand the true, asshole-y nature of the sport’s grown fans this weekend when, at the conclusion of a match between Atlético Mineiro and América, the boy was delighted to find himself in possession of Atlético youngster Alerrandro’s game-worn jersey only to...
Cristiano Ronaldo And Juventus Got Exactly What They Were Looking For<em></em>
Cristiano Ronaldo’s decision to leave Real Madrid last summer was a bet on himself. It was a bet that for as unstoppable a force of nature he’d become, as perfectly complementary a supporting cast he’d found, and as much fame and adulation and trophies and awards he’d won at the most famous and succ...
The Premier League Top-Four Race Is Now Hotter Than Hell
If the past couple years have been the Premier League’s Golden Age, thanks to the league’s development of top-to-bottom quality and a powerful Big Six, making it the one domestic league all soccer fans practically must follow, then this season might just be this Golden Age’s Golden Year. All season ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Doubt That You Could Hear Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
Nobody Benefits From Lionel Messi Returning To Argentina's National Team
After more than eight months away from the national team, during which time it wasn’t clear if he would play for his country ever again after yet another World Cup disappointment, Lionel Messi is officially back in the Argentina team. And that might not be good for anyone....
Manchester United Boot Fraudulent Clowns PSG From The Champions League
Paris Saint-Germain, the most inept great team in Champions League play over the past handful of years, saw their dreams dashed in the competition once again as Manchester United orchestrated a shock comeback by winning today’s round of 16 second leg by a score of 3-1....
Ajax Poked Real Madrid In Eye, Socked Them In The Gut, And Tossed The Doubled-Over Body In A Wood Chipper
Okay, so Ajax’s amazing, unbelievable, thrilling 4-1 (FOUR to ONE!!!) upset over Real Madrid today wasn’t quite as amazing and unbelievable and thrilling as Barcelona’s 6-1 (SIX to ONE!!!!!) comeback a couple years ago, but it still has to go down as one of most improbable, well-deserved resurrectio...
Ajax Poked Real Madrid In Eye, Socked Them In The Gut, And Tossed The Doubled-Over Body In A Wood Chipper
Okay, so Ajax’s amazing, unbelievable, thrilling 4-1 (FOUR to ONE!!!) upset over Real Madrid today wasn’t quite as amazing and unbelievable and thrilling as Barcelona’s 6-1 (SIX to ONE!!!!!) comeback a couple years ago, but it still has to go down as one of most improbable, well-deserved resurrectio...