billyhaisley Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FIFA Hit Real Madrid And Atlético With Two-Window Transfer Sanctions
Sepp Blatter warned everyone that this was coming, but it’s still a shocker seeing it: Real Madrid and Atlético have both been found in violation of FIFA rules regarding the signing of players under the age of 18 and punished with a prohibition on registering any new players for two transfer windows...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister Wants To Exile The People Who Vandalized Her Brother's Statue To Syria
The enormous, bronze, big-dicked statue that stands in honor of Cristiano Ronaldo in his home town was vandalized Monday, as some rascals painted Lionel Messi’s name on its back. Ronaldo’s sister had some very, very, very strong words for the culprits....
Dimitri Payet Wasn't Supposed To Be A Star, Yet Became One Anyway
It’s not often that a player comes into the big bad Premier League and from day one treats the World’s Best League like a playground pitch for him to dominate the way he would any other. But that’s how West Ham’s Dimitri Payet has attacked England. He’s a nearly sui generis phenomenon who, having co...
Japanese High School Team Scores Intricately Choreographed Free Kick
Really good soccer teens at East Fukuoka....
Mario Balotelli Used To Pee On His Teammates' Shoes, Just For Fun
Like all lovers of joy, crude humor, and outrageous behavior, our hearts leap at the prospect of hearing new Mario Balotelli stories. This one, about Balo’s urinary humor, does not disappoint....
Ballon d’Or Voting Is Full Of Bizarre Ballots
This is how democracy works. You give the right to vote to a large swath of people of varying ages, expertise levels, and motivations, add up their collective responses, and hope to come out with a good result. Today’s Ballon d’Or award ceremony, where Lionel Messi won the thing for the fifth time o...
Iranian Goalkeeper Arrested For Posting "Indecent" Photos Of Himself With Women
Sosha Makani, goalkeeper for Iranian team Persepolis and member of Iran’s national team, was arrested last week for allegedly breaking Iranian cyber laws. Specifically, for posing in largely innocuous photos that the country’s authorities have deemed indecent....
PSG Threaten To Sue M.I.A. For Wearing Modified Jersey In Music Video
M.I.A., no stranger to sports-related lawsuits, has been threatened by French soccer club Paris Saint-Germain that, unless she removes scenes of her wearing the modified PSG jersey above from her “Borders” music video, the club will sue her for damaging their reputation....
Atlético Madrid Are A Miracle
Because Atlético Madrid have been consistently really good for a handful of years now and truly great for about two or three, we’ve almost become numb to the fact that they are once again legitimate contenders in the Spanish league. This should not be the case. Halfway through the season, Atlético c...
Yaya Touré Is Way Too Upset About Not Winning African Player Of The Year Award
The African soccer federation handed out its annual African Player of the Year award yesterday, rewarding Borussia Dortmund’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang for a spectacular season. For most, this was a positive moment to celebrate Auba and all of African soccer for their players’ contributions to the g...
Robert Sarver's Purchase Of Mallorca Is An Indictment Of The American Soccer System
Phoenix Suns owner and amateur intergenerational psychologist Robert Sarver has purchased a controlling stake in Mallorca, a Spanish soccer club currently playing in the country’s second division. The move is presumably good for Sarver and the rest of his ownership group, which includes noted soccer...
Reporter: I Was Told Not To Write About Gareth Bale's Transfer Fee Because It Would Annoy Ronaldo
Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo are superstar teammates for Real Madrid. They both cost a whole bunch of money to buy. Bale cost a little bit more. Ronaldo does not like being reminded of this. Here’s proof:...
Report: Nobody Told Rafa Benítez He'd Been Fired
In this new media environment, where sensitive information can be transmitted around the world and back mere seconds after it’s first released, many organizations struggle with how best to break the bad news to employees they plan to fire. The one rule of thumb should always be to first and foremost...
Hatem Ben Arfa Is Straight Fooling On Dudes In France
This dribble is somehow even more ridiculous than the last time Hatem Ben Arfa popped onto our radar for doing something insane (in the good way, for once). If that little heel flick he did to get by the keeper wouldn’t have gotten cleared off the line, this would be an all-timer....
Rafa Benitez Couldn't Make Real Madrid What They Want To Be, So Now He's No More
It’s a pity that the wildly entertaining, back-and-forth, wide open 2-2 draw between Real Madrid and Valencia this weekend will be remembered more as Rafa Benítez’s Waterloo than as the thrilling spectacle it was in its own right. Real dominated the match for large stretches and, with a couple favor...
Report: Rafa Benítez Fired, Zinedine Zidane In As Real Madrid Manager
According to Marca, the rumors that have been swirling all day about Real Madrid manager Rafa Benítez’s job status were justified, as he indeed has been fired. Taking his place will be Real’s legendary player and heretofore coach of the reserve team, Zinedine Zidane....
The Year In Bad Soccer Men
There’s something about the game of soccer that turns (presumably) otherwise mild-mannered, law-abiding citizens into raving madmen. Players, fans, refs, even club officials often lose their minds when anywhere near a stadium. Here are our posts from 2015 documenting this curious sociological phenom...
Christian Benteke Had Another Brutal Miss Today
Don’t click on the video just yet. Look at the image for a second. Christian Benteke, yards clear of any defender, strolls into the heart of the penalty box with only the keeper to beat. It was right about at that frame when, watching it live, I thought to myself, He’s definitely about to miss this....
How On Earth Did Neymar Pull Off This Spinning Backheel Assist?
Technically this little flick didn’t quite come off the way Neymar intended, but he definitely meant for that ridiculous touch to redirect into Luis Suárez’s path, and holy shit, can you imagine having such otherworldly talent that even when your unbelievably audacious moves don’t work exactly right...
David Moyes Sneaks Excuses For His Own Failure Into Comments Backing Louis van Gaal
When a team finds itself mired in a bog of bad results it can’t work its way out of, it’s perfectly common for illustrious figures from the club’s past to pop up offering words of support and encouragement to the current players and staff. What isn’t so common is a less-than-illustrious former manag...