billyhaisley Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chinese Commentator Fired For Snoring In Middle Of Champions League Game
The deep and hearty snores you hear are from Chinese commentator Dong Lu during this week’s Real Madrid-PSG Champions League match, and he’s not taking a sly jab at the quality of play. Apparently, Dong really did fall asleep during the game, and his network fired him for it....

That Feeling When You Think You Fucked Up But It All Works Out Anyway
I like to think that Philipp Schobesberger of Rapid Vienna helped an old lady carry her groceries up a couple flights of stairs last week and thus was karmically rewarded with this goal right here....

French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions
Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues....

Kobe Bryant Gets The <i>NBA Jam</i> Treatment, And He's Not Exactly On Fire
I can’t tell if these tears coming down my face are ones of laughter or sadness, but I’m crying all the same....

Real Madrid Star Karim Benzema Charged In Sextape Blackmail Case
After being arrested and questioned by police in France yesterday morning for his possible involvement in a blackmail plot against fellow France international Mathieu Valbuena, Real Madrid’s Karim Benzema has been charged today for “complicity in an attempted extortion.”...

That Was Really Mean What Bayern Munich Just Did To Arsenal
Talk about an ass-beating. Coming off a huge, totally unexpected Arsenal home win in the last round of Champions League matches, Bayern made no mistake about who’s really the better team and pasted the Gunners, 5-1 today....

Willian's Perfect Free Kick Saves Chelsea's Ass
Man, Willian’s right foot really is about the only way Chelsea can score, huh? After opening their account with an own goal off a deflected cross from, you guessed it, Willian, Chelsea fought back from a late Dynamo equalizer to score the winner in the 83rd minute....

Wins Were All José Mourinho Ever Had To Stand On
The only thing more unfathomable than a historically great manager having his job status seriously questioned just half a season removed from a title, is said manager and club falling apart so thoroughly that the speculation about his imminent demise begins to appear justified. And yet this is exact...

Fallen Striker Edinson Cavani Spasms His Way Out Of A Goal
Edinson Cavani was once one of Europe’s most fearsome strikers, coveted the world over thanks to his domination of Serie A for Napoli. He had it all: a long, lanky frame to nod in goals with his forehead, a loping stride that sped him around the pitch and onto through balls much quicker than you’d e...

Manchester City And Sevilla Fans Scrap Outside Bar
Not content with the chair tornado in the lead-up to the last Manchester City-Sevilla match a couple weeks ago, these fans returned to their fighting ways ahead of today’s return leg. Yes, more chairs were thrown....

Rude Serbian Fans Dump A Big Ol' Bucket Of Water On Referee
Well golly, guys, this isn’t very sporting. Though, as sad as it is to say this, we’ve seen worse....

Romanian Youth Coach Beats On 16-Year-Old Player In The Middle Of A Game
This, uh, doesn’t seem like the best way to motive your U17 charges?...

More Proof Gerard Deulofeu Is A Brilliant Lunatic
Here are some highlights from Everton vs. Sunderland, which ended 6-2 in favor of the Toffees thanks in large part to some astounding play from their absurdly gifted young winger, Gerard Deulofeu:...

Arsenal Might Be The Real Deal
Since that beatdown on Manchester United a couple weeks ago, it’s been hard to avoid the sense that this just might be Arsenal’s year. With Chelsea’s continued horrendous form so far this season, United’s unimpressive performances undermining their point total, Liverpool’s lack of consistency, and M...

Kyle Walker Freaks Out More Tottenham Players With Halloween Prank
Kyle Walker is back as the Tottenham video team’s avatar in their seasonal effort to get the club’s players to squeal like children. Some good shrieks up there, and while Jan Vertonghen’s reaction isn’t quite as stoic as last time, his countryman Mousa Dembélé makes up for it....

Turkish Club President Locks Refs In Stadium Overnight For Not Calling Penalty
Ibrahim Hacıosmanoğlu, president of Turkish Süper Lig club Trabzonspor, was upset with the referees after his team’s 2-2 draw against Gaziantepspor. So much so, he instructed stadium security not to let the refs out of the of building, holding them captive until 4 a.m. the next day, only releasing t...

Roger Federer Is Smooth
Looks like Fed’s still got it. (Well, “it” here being the ability to do cool though otherwise meaningless tricks with a racket.) Here’s the video of him turning his tennis racket into a lacrosse stick:...

Watch This Harrowing Documentary About The Working Conditions In Qatar
Sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in FIFA’s more bureaucratic forms of corruption and forget that the biggest crime by far that soccer’s governing body has committed was aiding and abetting the workplace atrocities that are so prevalent in Qatar....

Venezuelan Soccer Man Is A Magician With The Ball. Literally. He Can Do Magic.
Usually when you call a soccer player magical or a wizard with the ball, you’re using the terms metaphorically. Not here. This is not a drill. Zamora striker César Martínez really has magic powers. Watch this goal celebration and tell yourself otherwise:...

Sepp Blatter Says U.S. Was Supposed To Hold 2022 World Cup
Just when you think Sepp Blatter has revealed the full extent of his kooky theories and self-centered worldview, he opens his mouth again and wows you with even more crazy talk. In his newest interview, Blatter elucidates his belief that the entire FIFA scandal was a covert ploy by Michel Platini an...