billyhaisley Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals
When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. Th...
Cristiano Ronaldo Reminds Us Why He's So Likable
In a weekend that saw Lionel Messi overtake Cristiano Ronaldo as the Spanish league's top scorer this season, Ronaldo can rest easy knowing his Argentine rival isn't likely to catch up to another one of his records: that of world's most-liked Facebook page. What makes him so beloved? Well, besides t...
José Mourinho Gets Philosophical In Rant Directed At Haters In The Media
“The world is a bit strange. Maybe because of diets, and maybe because of the quality of produce we are eating, I think memories are getting shorter,” José Mourinho begins his wild, metaphysical ride that somehow ends with him basically calling certain members of the media jealous cowards....
Can A Keeper Get A Red Card While Unconscious? One Player Investigates
If you add it up, Máximo Banguera of Barcelona SC spends nearly two minutes pretending to be dead to the world in between a late tackle on an Atlético Nacional player and when the ref finally shows him the red card he was obviously trying to avoid....
Romelu Lukaku Channels His Inner Marshawn Lynch On This Bulldozing Run
This is probably as close as you'll get to seeing Beast Mode's famous Beast Quake run recreated on a soccer pitch. Everton's Romelu Lukaku knocks over a good three or four defenders before laying off the assist for Steven Naismith's equalizer, proving that he is indeed 'bout that action:...
Eureka For Europa! Why To Bother With Soccer's <i>Other</i> Club Tournament
You should watch the Europa League! No seriously, do it. We know what we've said before, but it's different now. And good....
PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League
Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early ...
The Kid From <i>Boyhood</i> Apparently Grew Up To Be Zack Greinke
Thanks to Sons of Steve Garvey, we now know the shocking truth: the kid from Boyhood has been pitching in the majors this whole time. ...
USWNT Striker Christen Press Is Way Too Fast
Like, those six players the USWNT's Christen Press runs past aren't scrubs. That's France, one of the best national teams in the world. And even they can't keep up with Press as, with two wicked bursts, she flies past them like they're stuck in quicksand before passing the ball into the back of th...
Racing Club's Ingenious Goal Is Why We Need More Free Kick Shenanigans
Seriously, why isn't there more experimentation on free kicks? As Racing Club proved in the Copa Libertadores last night, there are trickier, probably more effective ways to score from a dead ball than just thumping it vaguely towards goal. We have enough evidence. Let's put it to use....
Cortland Finnegan Retires, Remains In Denial About Time He Got Beat Up
Cortland Finnegan—the long-time Titan cornerback who is better known as the NFL's biggest asshole—took to Instagram today to announce his retirement. In a statement that covers his love of the game, his appreciation at having played, and his excitement about his future, he reveals that is apparent...
Evil Troll Spirits Invade Body Of Basel Keeper
Hm. We were giving Basel keeper Tomáš Vaclík the benefit of the doubt earlier, when he was frozen stiff by this nasty free kick, but judging from whatever's going on in that GIF above he might actually not be in control of his own body....
Cristiano Ronaldo's Forehead Saved Real Madrid's Ass
Ugh. Uggggghhhhhhhh. Just when we looked so close to seeing this shaky Real Madrid team gag up their 2-0 first leg lead in the Champions League to Schalke, of all teams, up sprang that leaping salmon Cristiano Ronaldo to save the day....
Porto Player Curls In Free Kick; Keeper Just Stands There Like "Nah"
That's got to be the worst feeling for a keeper, seeing a free kick swerve towards goal, knowing full well you have no chance of getting to it, and praying that the bangs off the crossbar or something right as you hear the ball twisting against the nylon of the net....
Little Russian Soccer Kid Gets Shit Wrecked When Big Coach Kicks Him
Sure, Russia may have their own standards for coaching, child-rearing, and acceptable levels of violence in sports, but a grown man molly-whopping one of his charges right on the pitch, then barking at him to get back in the game has to cross some kind of threshold....
Hey, Soccer Guy, Yanking A Goat's Horns Is A Dumb Way To Celebrate Goals
We aren't exactly clear what Cologne's Anthony Ujah was going for with this goal celebration involving club mascot Hennes the goat—is he miming riding it? are the horns like motorcycle handlebars?—but what we're quite certain of is ol' Hennes isn't digging it....
Ángel Di María Gets Ice Grill, Then Red Card For Grabbing Ref
About a minute before the GIF you see above, referee Michael Oliver gave Manchester United's Ángel Di María a yellow card for an obvious dive. Frustrated and angry, Di María decided to snatch at the back of the ref's shirt, demanding an explanation. That's when Oliver pierces Di María's soul with th...
Chicago Artist's Shrine To Derrick Rose Is The Saddest
It's a common human response to erect shrines and murals in public spaces commemorating fallen heroes. One Chicago artist felt particularly moved by Derrick Rose's umpteenth injury to create one in his memory, replete with the point guard's visage wearing a crown of thorns, crutches and knee pads la...
Damn, Even We Have To Admit That This Seattle Sounders Goal Is A Beauty
You know how we feel about MLS, but still, even we can't front on a team goal of this quality. This is a textbook three man weave the likes of which you'd be happy to pull off in training, let alone a match. Pure class. Bravo, Sounders....
Deadspin Up All Night: I Know You Can't Believe This
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Back where we belong....