bubbaprog Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

¡Súperman Una Vez Más! 

Cam Newton is leading his Carolina Panthers team to an NFC championship and is almost certainly the NFL MVP. These achievements seem almost modest, you know, for Superman. But the Man of Steel took flight in the third quarter of tonight’s blowout NFC title game; ¡Es un pájaro! ¡Es un avión!...

New England Patriots Suffering From BSOD

Microsoft has been on a season-long campaign to make sure you know the tablet computers on NFL sidelines are their Surface models, not iPads. Like most Microsoft products, the Surface tablets are crashing—at least those on the New England sideline. Money well-spent, Microsoft....

Oh, Hello

This morning, your Premiership highlights are brought to you by horrified woman in the background....

We Can't Read Your Sign, Dickhead [UPDATE]

Here’s some Jersey shithead with an illegible sign making an ass out of himself behind the Monmouth Co. sheriff. Hey, dickhead, you’re holding a white sign in the middle of a snowstorm. Nobody can read your fuckin’ sign. If you had a brain in your skull, you’d be inside....

Joe Hart's Tremendous Save Brings Russell Brand To His Feet In Anguish

Man City keeper Joe Hart kept his side even with West Ham United with a brilliant save of a Dimitry Payet free kick that brought anguish to the supporters at Upton Park—especially Russell Brand, in attendance with pal Noel Gallagher. Depending on whether you think Brand is an asshole or if you think...

Ángel Di María Hammers Home Long-Range Volley

We can’t imagine PSG’s Ángel di María heard about Dele Alli’s wondergoal earlier today, but if he did this is a fitting response. Dare we say di María learned it from Zlatan?...

That Thing You Said Means The Opposite Of What You Think It Means

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Dele Alli Wondergoal Puts Spurs Up 2-1 On Crystal Palace

Is this the goal of the season? It might be, as Dele Alli scored an absolutely incredible golazo that has us searching for words....

OK, Thanks

Messi The Magician Gives Barça The Lead With Gorgeous Volley

Barcelona found themselves in a real battle today at Málaga, but it was the hero himself, Lionel Messi, who once again came through in the clutch as the Argentine brought Ray Hudson to yet another orgasmic climax with an unstoppable volley....

Weather Geek Mike Trout Joins Jim Cantore To Report On Blizzard

When Mike Trout isn’t mashing home runs or robbing them, he’s at home doing precise meteorological measurements; the self-described “weather geek” wants to be a stormchaser someday, and The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore had Trout on this morning to report on conditions in his hometown of Millville, ...

Stephen Curry Is A Fictional Character From Planet X

One of baseball’s last remaining virtues is that the maxim “Watch any baseball game, and you’ll see something you’ve never seen before” is generally true. We think it’s about time that rule be applied to any time Steph Curry is on a basketball court... or off it....

All Hail The Metropolitans

ESPN Dumbass Danny Kanell Calls For Broncos To Commit Late Hits On Tom Brady

We don’t deny that it would be hilarious to watch Von Miller cream an unsuspecting Tom Brady well after the whistle. But we certainly can’t endorse it, which is exactly what ESPN’s Danny Kanell did on his radio show today....

Ovechkin Spotted Getting Gas To Plow Neighbors' Driveways; Is Unafraid Of Blizzard Because "We're From Russia"

Draw your own conclusions about how and why Alex Ovechkin happened to run into D.C. CBS station WUSA at a gas station. All we know is that the Capitals star had three words in response to a query about whether he’s prepared for the blizzard assaulting our nation’s capital: “We’re from Russia.”...

"Fuck You, Dale" [UPDATES]

Man, Dale’s employers at Metal Works of High Point must really hate him....

Austrian TV Gives NFL Conference Title Games The Star Wars Treatment

We’ve previously covered in this space our appreciation for Austria’s approach to NFL coverage. Österreich is just wild about American football, and official broadcaster PULS4 has produced this Star Wars-themed promo for Sunday’s games. It’s... interesting....

Even Roger Federer Went Nuts Over This 27-Stroke Rally Between Maria Sharapova & Lauren Davis

American Lauren Davis has forced a third set against fifth seed Maria Sharapova at the Australian Open after winning a second-set tiebreak. That came despite her unforced error at the end of this remarkable 27-stroke rally—one that got Roger Federer, awaiting his turn against Grigor Dimitrov, out of...

NBA Ref Scott Wall Leaves Game After Being Injured By TV Cameraman

Longtime NBA official Scott Wall was forced to leave tonight’s Grizzlies-Nuggets game in Denver after tripping over a sideline camera operator and injuring his leg....

Great Defense, LeBron

Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....