christmas-ape-old Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That's A Stanley Cup You Can Keep
Every team that wins the Stanley Cup parties hard with the Holy Grail. The Detroit Red Wings are no different, even if they've been a little rough with the trophy. Most teams, however, don't allow family members to shit in it, as Kris Draper did....
Halo Kid Vs. Red Sox Nation: WHO YA GOT?
This here's the new yet derivative Internet sensation that is Halo Kid. Obvious comparisons can be drawn to Star Wars Kid, except Halo Kid will never be referenced on Arrested Development, so the former wins. Gilbert Arenas will still be his friend though. I post this here because I didn't want to p...
Canadians Deploy Secret Weapon: Gentle Mocking
Looks as though the "Ruin Romo" craze has made its way to our neighbor to the north,...[checks map] Canadia! A few fans were taunting A-1 Rodboy yesterday with pictures of Madge. Lenny Kravitz might have been more effective, as evidenced by A-Rod collecting one of the Yankees' two hits....
Cubs Fans Drink Early, Die Nearby
The gimlet eyed besuboru fans at Home Run Derby spotted a Cubs fan handing his kid what looks like a beer during yesterday afternoon's game against the Giants at Wrigley. Corey Hart's daughter is jealous that he gets it in a cup. Maybe the dad wants him to get alcohol poisoning to ensure placement i...
Peter King Knows The Motivations Of His Bretty Boy
Favraro's Log. Gunsling Date: Sometime in the middle of the ponderous NFL off-season where shit like this can dominate the headlines for weeks on end. Somewhere, off the distance, did hove into view a great assemblage of bullshit about Brett Favre. FUCK! It's coming right for us! Take evasive actio...
The All-Seeing Eye Thinks Your Hair Looks Fine
The curtailing of the About Last Night... feature eliminates some of my opportunity for monkeyshines (that is, gratuitous monkey references shoehorned into otherwise putatively sports-related posts). But this Sauron-esque picture from last night's Marlins-Dodgers games caught my, uh, notice. Best u...
From Cowboy To Commune To Caretaker
Until last season, Frank Clarke held the Cowboys' single-season receiving touchdown record. After being the team's first black star, he went onto become the first black sports TV anchor in the Dallas area and the first black NFL analyst on CBS. There were rumblings that he would run for political of...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while seeing the downside of Spain's title......
Your UEFA Euro 2008 Champs: Spain
After 44 years, Espana picks up their second Euro title and, for now, sheds their underachieving reputation. And it was a dominant run by the Spanish, not losing a game in the tournament and dispatching a tough Germany team in the final without the services of their best player....
Spain vs. Germany: Second Half
Fernando Torres is owning shit so far and Spain could be running away with this thing if Torres' first big opportunity didn't go off the goalpost. Jens Lehmann looks overmatched, which is a shocker, and right now Germany's best chances are coming on ticky tack free kicks....
Spain vs. Germany: First Half
It looks like German captain Michael Ballack is going to be playing after all, thought most of the pundits have him pegged at about 75 percent at best. David Villa remains out for Spain, which means Cesc Fabregas will probably have to come up big like he did against Russia for the Spaniards to c...
Eees So Reeeeeaaaalllll
As impressive as the ballgirl catch and about as real. [Josh Q. Public]...
New Zealand Hockey Initiation Is, Uh, Special
In these days of summer swelter, the thought of going for a Crocodile Mile-type slide to cool me down is enticing. That doesn't make viewing these pictures or the video after the jump of what appears to be a standard initiation rite in New Zealand hockey: stripping down to your skivvies and sliding...
The Will Leitch Roast: Director's Cut
DIDJA HEAR? Deadspin emo honcho Will Leitch left at the end of this past week (actually, I'm not so sure - he's sent more links to me this weekend than Daulerio has. YOU NEED TO LET GO, BUDDY!). A few of the roasts submitted got left on the cutting room floor for whatever reason and since these folk...
Midwestern Brawls Are So Much More Polite
Such a heartening sight, seeing Cubs and White Sox fans come together to stomp the shit out of a bothersome fan in their midst. But what could elicit such solidarity? Busted Coverage had the report and video:...
You May Kiss The Shark (Just Don't Take Photos!)
Greg Norman and Chris Evert were married last night in one of those subdued $2 million weddings in the Bahamas. The guest list included Bush 41 and Bill Clinton. What, no Jim Everett and Jim Rome? The newlyweds reportedly sold exclusive photo rights to a women's magazine and, uh, were a little ser...
Windy City Teams On Verge Of Trading Sweeps; Kerry Wood Not Pleased
Despite getting the catchy nickname of "One of the most consistent hitters in the game" by teammate Matt Murton, Aramis Ramirez failed to take advantage of a lead-off double in the 9th by Derrek Lee. With one out and Lee on third, Bobby Jenks forced the Cubbie into grounding out weakly to short when...
Track And Field Trials Not Shy About Producing Funny Headlines
Well met, ESPN copy editors. Yesterday, we got a "brilliant burst" of a running Hooker and today we get a Gay in heat. So salacious, these running trials. Jesuth Chritht!...