christmas-ape-old Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...
Making Teenage Faces
Colts Cheerleaders get their hair did. [Don Chavez]...
Dick Dickinson Has Unfortunate Name, More Unfortunate Tastes
Lindsey Dickinson elects to go by "Dick Dickinson" for reasons known only to him. Maybe it should have been considered something of a warning. The former youth football coach in Illinois was enough of a community presence to have a golf tournament named after him. My guess is they've changed that si...
The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...
Meet The Mets, Beat The Mets
A dastardly sot went after Mr. Met at a game last Saturday, the New York Post reports. So bound and determined was he to inflict pain on the mascot, he wasn't going to let children, or pregnant women or rare butterflies get in his way. Is hurting mascots all that fun? Seems like somebody has seen t...
The Drugs In Europe Must Be Great
Okay, I've been to Amsterdam. I smoked some nice pot there. They try to get you to put all this tobacco in it, but whatevs, it's good. But nothing that would make me conceive, or even understand, the opening ceremonies of EURO 2008 yesterday. This Fanhouse-provided clip is like a Bjork/Michel Gondry...
This Should Quiet Those Stupid "True Yankee" Questions
This faithful little guttersnipe is Gerrit Cole, pictured here at the tender age of 11 attending the 2001 World Series, who this week was selected as the Yankees first-round pick. Yesterday capped a pretty good week for Cole, as the Bombers returned to .500, where they seems to be teetering lately,...
About Last Night...
What you missed while making the jump into academia......
Jim McKay 1921-2008
Though 25-year-old youngins like myself didn't get to see much of him in his heyday, seeing only swatches of memorable moments like his work at the 1972 Munich Olympics and on the Wide World of Sports, it's been nice reading through the various tributes to the man, further tinged with sadness that h...
Live Blog: Belmont Stakes
Can no-longer-Hooters-sponsored Big Brown be the first Triple Crown winner since Carl Yastrzemski Affirmed in 1978? In the 30 years since, 10 horses have been in Big Brown's position, looking for the sweep. With Japanese import Casino Drive gone, what was already being called a certain victory by t...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......
Hold Me Closer, Dancing Gino. Gino? Gino!
The Wall Street Journal (via Boston Daily) yesterday had a story about trying to track down Gino, a dancing Lothario from American Bandstand, who the Celtics flash in a clip on the JumboTron when victory seems imminent. The Celtics were even interested in doing a documentary on him. Well, they still...
Jesus Sportsblogging Christ, I Hate This Ad
Forgive the momentary diversion, but I've taken as much as I can from this G2 ad and I can't takes no more. Seriously, what the fuck is the deal with this thing? The Sporting Blog had a fine piece the other week decrying the various grating NBA Playoff commercials that are quickly driving us to self...
The Inane "Cubs Fans-White Sox Fans: Who's Hotter?" Debate Rages On
This should make for some interesting conversation at the Pants Party [The Sports Hernia]...
The Internet Hooligan Database Gives You Seven Stars Out of Ten For Bludgeoning
Euro 2008 gets underway today and to head off the inevitable flurry of violence that's just going to happen anyway, authorities in Switzerland have sent out letters of warning to 320 people who are listed on the country's hooligan database....
Cedric Benson Runs Past More Red Lights Than Defenders
Cedric Benson, a month removed from a Sun Chips-fueled boozy boating excursion with mom gone awry, was charged with drunk driving this morning in Texas. This will surely help to build sympathy for him against what he says were trumped up charges issued during the May 3 incident....
Wes Welker's Musical Belly Button Captivates Crowd
A few members of the New England Patriots got crazy karaoke-style for Larryoke, a charity event organized by Pats' special teams captain Larry Izzo. Those in attendance were blown away by Wes Welker's belly button rendition of "MacArthur Park". That thing's got some pipes....
Kwame Kilpatrick Will Never Send You Naughty Text Messages After This
Beleaguered Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was not received warmly at the Red Wings victory extravaganza yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with the sundry scandals and the vetoing of the funds set aside to remove him from office. The booing doesn't even fade after the proffering of free beer. ...