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College Football Previews: #10 Texas
At long last, we enter the top 10. Your author is Peter Bean of Burnt Orange Nation. He's also the author of The Eyes of Texas 2008. You'll be happy to know that the above picture of Jenna Bush rocking the longhorn sign sent Muslim hearts spinning because they believed it was a sign of Satan. Oklah...
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
"My English not very good." So said Spain point guard Juan Carlos Navarro after the US-Spain basketball game. Except a reporter for the Boston Globe remembered otherwise from an interview after an NBA game and called him on it. Seems Juan "All my friends are Oriental" Navarro was dodging reporters. ...
Tiger Woods Is Jesus
At least according to a new EA Sports commercial for his video game where El Tigre walks on water—into a pond— and plays his ball from a lilly pad. The most amazing thing about this commercial is not necessarily that it was made but that EA is now watching YouTube clips and responding to people who...
College Football Previews: #11 Auburn
We're rolling through the top 25 and later this afternoon we'll finally crack into the top ten. Until then enjoy the melodic stylings of 2003 Auburn grad Brian J. Stultz as he brings down the hammer on the Tide, raises the profile of apostrophized greatness that is Sen'Derrick Marks, and defends To...
British Gold Medalist Gets Plastered, Rolls Over a Taxi Bonnet in Celebration
Bradley Wiggins, a double gold medalist in cycling, is the culprit. It's things like this that make people mistakenly believe the British can't handle their alcohol. Or have drinking problems. Wiggins was out celebrating in London House—which is evidently an area of Beijing designed to honor the 20...
Table Tennis Needs More Fans; Solution: Women Should Dress Sexier
If only this was the answer to every world problem. Famine? Women should dress sexier. War? Women should dress sexier. You see where I'm going here. That's because I'm following the lead of Claude Bergeret—the Gandhi of ping pong. Bergeret is head of the International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF)...
New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pie...
Dwight Howard is in love with former gymnast Dominique Dawes. At least that's what you'll think after watching this video. But what you don't know is that Howard reacted the same way when he met Dan Hicks. Of course that's because he thought Hicks was Jim Nantz, but Hicks didn't correct him since hi...
College Football Previews: #13 Kansas
We're rolling through the college football top 25. Today we get things started with a photoshopped Mark Mangino. Can things get any better for Kansans? The season countdown has entered single digits. We're just nine days away from the glory that is Vanderbilt @ Miami-Ohio. Today's Kansas preview is...
College Football Previews: #12 Wisconsin
Today we're bringing a bit of Big 10 cross-pollination for you as Iowa fan Adam Jacobi from Black Heart Gold Pants brings the Badger love. At least a little bit? He also blogs at Fanhouse. 1) Wisconsin's tight end is Travis Beckum, a 26-year-old taxi driver who's recently been discharged from Vietn...
College Football Previews: #14 Texas Tech
Today's Texas Tech preview of pirate head coach Mike Leach is brought to you by Stephen Hagen. He's a Texas Tech alum and he hates A&M with unmitigated fury. So with only ten days until kickoff, enjoy his preview. Also, again, I'd like to apologize to all the people who wrote in requesting to do a p...
CBS Accidentally Leaks College Football Television Schedule?
I've gotten this link from several people but am still working to confirm its accuracy. Typically CBS doesn't announce which game they're covering until about ten days before the game would kick off. Which always makes planning travel and hotels and the like difficult. But allegedly, due to a compu...
College Football Previews: #15 Virginia Tech
We're rolling through the top 25 of the coaches' poll. Today's first preview is the Virginia Tech Hokies. Brought to you by deadspin commenter, FrankBeamersGoiter. Known in the real world as Jonathan Dean. Ten days to college football kickoff. Loud whispers out of Blacksburg mention that Sean Glenn...