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College Football Preview: John Parker Wilson's Cell Phone Belongs to the Cajuns
Alabama's John Parker Wilson is the latest SEC player attempting to overcome the LSU fans snagging his cell phone number and listing it everywhere on the internets. Confounding Cajuns. You'll recall that earlier this season Knowshon Moreno and A.J. Green were the victims. They joined Tim Tebow from...

Thursday Night Preview: Maryland at Virginia Tech and #12 TCU at #8 Utah
Remember how I said that Versus stole a march on ESPN back when TCU played BYU and Florida State was playing N.C. State on Thursday October 16? Yeah, it's happened again. Only this time the game is on CBS College Sports. Which, if you're like me, you don't get on your television package because Com...

Phil Fulmer Stepping Down From Tennessee At The End of the Season
In the immediate aftermath of Tennessee's 27-6 loss to South Carolina, for the first time all season Phil Fulmer didn't tell his team not to quit. He talked for only a few moments, barely above a whisper, and then led the team in prayer. We all dropped to one knee and took the hand of the men on bo...

College Football Preview: The Jort-Out Is Coming
In a move reminiscent of the final rap contest between Rabbit and Papa Doc, Florida fans have embraced their greatest flaw: the you wear jorts insult that Georgia fans have been hurling for the better part of a decade. Yep, there's an organized movement afoot for Gator fans to show up in jorts for t...

Thursday Night Preview: #23 South Florida at Cincinnati
In keeping with the theme of the day, once the ESPN Thursday night programmer took a shit and put it into his ESPN issued lunchbox (the graphic on the lunchbox was Stuart Scott's lazy eye and the eye followed you when it moved.)Anyway, then the ESPN programmer collected Lou Holtz's spit and mixed i...

Alabama Fan Waxes Eloquent On Life, Tennessee, and Saban
This is what it has come to: an erudite Alabama fan self-nicknamed "Cowboy" is Phil Fulmer's greatest defender. And Cowboy thinks that Nick Saban might be watching his analysis. Which, given that Saban is all-knowing and all-powerful, He probably is. Find a better mustache than this, I dare you. ...

College Football Roundup: Crazy Chick In Your Team's Hoodie Edition
This was the week, if there ever was a week, where you look down the BCS barrel and see all sorts of moral dilemmas coming your way. There may very well be three undefeated teams. Right now Penn State would be screwed in this equation. (Although I still think Alabama will lose to whoever wins the S...

College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...

Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...

College Football Roundup: Mommas Don't Bring Your Babies to Neyland
Just a tip, don’t ever try and take a baby into Neyland Stadium. No matter how old the kid (ours is less than nine months old and was sleeping in a baby bjorn on his mom’s chest). Babies have to have tickets to Neyland too. I have no idea why the University of Tennessee would have this policy. Espe...

College Football Preview: Colt McCoy and Chase Daniel Duel for Rights to All The Oil in Texas (And the Heisman)
Back when I wrote that I couldn’t wait to watch the BYU-TCU game, I meant it. Completely. But what I forgot was that I’d be on the road in a hotel room. I don’t know why it is but hotels have the most erratic cable channel selections known to man. If you’re anything like me you’ve found yourself ly...

Thursday Night Preview: Florida State at North Carolina State and #8 BYU at #24 TCU
I suppose even the genius who schedules Thursday night games at ESPN is entitled to a mulligan. That's the only explanation for how Florida State at N.C. State ended up tonight's featured game. N.C. State is 2-4 and Florida State is 4-1. N.C. State has taken down William and Mary and East Carolina,...

Tommy Bowden's Firing: Is Coaching Clemson that Great of a Job Anyway?
In the wake of Tommy Bowden's firing after nine years at Clemson, current players are already piling on. The quarterback he benched, Cullen Harper, told ESPN, "They just told us. It's what he deserved." And this whole firing business might not be that big of a surprise since in the Clemson-Wake For...

College Football Roundup: Carnage Came and Carnage Conquered
For those of you who emailed and asked whether the bearded guy in the orange shirt on the sideline at UT-Georgia was me. Yep, it was. There's a refined sense of pleasure in being a fan and watching your team suffer a drubbing from the sideline. I think I spoke about five words the entire game becau...

College Football Preview: Texas and Oklahoma Is At NOON (EST) You Drunk Idiots
The biggest week of college football games comes at a good time. Your stocks are tanking, summer is fading, you may or may not get fired in the newest round of layoffs, and you're thinking about getting an MBA or going to law school but you're not sure whether it makes sense to take out the student...

Thursday Night Preview: Clemson at (21) Wake Forest
Tommy Bowden and Clemson roll into lovely Winston-Salem to try and stave off yet another mediocre season. Clemson is 3-2 and coming off a 17-14 loss to Maryland. Now they're 2.5 point underdogs to Wake Forest. Watch this game to see if this is finally, at long last, the game that ends Tommy Bowden'...

Tennessee's Arian Foster Refuses Interview Requests Unless You Speak Pterodactyl
Sigh. The Vols are in the process of preparing for their road game at Georgia. A game that CBS had the misfortune of selecting. At least Jonathan Crompton isn't starting at quarterback for the Vols. You get the feeling that CBS' Gary Danielson might have refused to call another game quarterbacked b...

College Football Roundup: Chase Daniel and Warren Buffett Are Boyzzz
The most shocking image of the college football weekend occurred in the second half of Missouri-Nebraska. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Missouri hung 52 on Nebraska before the third quarter ended. It was finding out that Missouri’s chubby and short quarterback who will win the Heisman...

Announcement: Meet Your New College Football Writer
Immediately after Tennessee’s would-be game-tying overtime field goal sailed wide left against UCLA, my life became a series of unfortunate events. First, my friend Kelly and I ended up lost outside the Rose Bowl. Anyone who has ever been to the Rose Bowl knows how hard this is to pull off. We knew...

College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo
The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black ...