dashiell-bennett-old Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Finally, A Triathlon For Drunken Rageaholic Gamblers
Billiards and high-stakes poker are not exactly riveting spectator sports, but you know what would make them surefire TV entertainment? If at the end of each contest, players beat the crap out of each other....
Tiger Woods Welcomes New Baby To The Jungle
Charlie Axel Woods (not pictured) is the new sweet child of golf's first family. I imagine it's hard to hold a candle when your dad has fourteen majors. [People]...
Alex Rodriguez Ruins It For The Rest Of Us (Again)
Well, that's everyone. Any baseball player who has done anything notable in the last ten years did so while hopped up on goofballs. So I guess baseball is canceled now?...
Andruw Jones May Be A Bit Confused
Andruw Jones turns down a minor-league deal with the Yankees, then signs a minor-league deal with the Rangers. Someone please explain to him how "negotiating" works.... [Lewp]...
Cal Ripken Jr. Gets Nailed To Wall
Heads you lose, tails I win: Rutgers' top football recruit chose his school based on a coin toss. And who says college recruiting is not a serious enterprise? [Bootlegger Sports]...
Will You Still Respect This Model In The Morning?
Just a friendly reminder that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hits newsstands this week. I'm guessing that there won't be any "hockey erotica" involved....
Cancel The Pro Bowl
Earlier, when I was talking about what sports were available and lamented the complete lack of football, I literally forgot that the Pro Bowl was today. Not that it counts as a football game. [NFL.com]...
Baseball Being Very Good To Ryan Howard
Phillies reward the big fella with a three-year, $54 million contract. So do they just go ahead and cut Geno's Steaks their 10% right now? [MLB.com]...
Houston Texans Can't Wait Until Fall To Fail
It seems like that Outside The Lines report about Houston's illegal contact drills should get people at least as riled up as what some baseball player sticks in his butt. But it won't....
TNT Sells Out H-O-R-S-E?
I'm not sure if this is real or just idle (but completely believable) speculation, but USA Today is reporting that the game of All-Star H-O-R-S-E will actually be G-E-I-C-O, to the delight of the sponsor....
Heat Up Your Cold February Nights With Hockey Erotica
If you're looking for hot entertainment, I suggest finding your way North this month for "a new show that brings Canada's two favourite pastimes—hockey and sex—together at last on one rollicking theatre stage."...
Ex-Falcon Jamal Anderson Arrested On Drug Charges
The former RB turned ESPN analyst was arrested in Atlanta last night in possession of cocaine and a "suspected marijuana cigarette." See what you've done, Michael Phelps? [AJC]...
Breaking: VIPs Get Best Seats At Sporting Events
Oregon residents are shocked—shocked!—to learn that going through the official NCAA lottery does not get you the best seats for basketball tournament games. [Oregonian]...
Arizona Cardinals Coordinators Receive Slightly Different Treatment After Super Bowl Run
We're adding a little something to this month's Super Bowl coordinators contest. First prize is a new head coaching gig with another team. Second prize is you're fired....
Mike Tomlin's Younger Self Would Like To Share His Meal Plan With You
I'm not sure why this was sent to us or what it has to do with anything, but here it is—Mike Tomlin is a organ donor!...
Peyton Audibles To Jay Cutler's Attempted Murder
• Horseplay: Manning grabs Jay Cutler's cellphone before Pro Bowl pranksters throw him in the pool; forgets the insulin monitor in Jay's other pocket. He should be out of the coma by June. [With Leather]...
When Does "Roller Derby Night In America" Start?
Roller Derby is slowly coming into its own as legitimate sport—with national tournaments, big-time media exposure, and no more fights! All they need is a Versus contract and they're bigger than the NHL. [NYTimes]...
"Jockeys" Will Teach You Thing Or Two About ... Jockeys
Jockeys are short little people with high voices that everyone makes fun of because they ride ponies for a living, but let me tell you something, brother—these guys (and gals) are complete badasses....
James Harrison's $800,000 Touchdown
Poker player Phil Ivey bet $800,000 on the Cardinals +3.5 for the first half of Super Bowl XLIII. I believe that is what's known as a "bad beat." [Phil Ivey Rules?]...
When You Play South Alabama, You Better Bring A Monitor
Look....all South Alabama coach Ronnie Arrow wants is a replay review of the last-second shot that just sunk his team, and if he doesn't get it then he just might murder your face....