dashiell-bennett-old Page 126 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bill James Dismantles The BCS Computers
The world's greatest stat nerd explains why the BCS computer "rankings" are a complete farce and why any mathematician who participates in it should be ashamed of themselves. But who is he betting on? [Slate]...
Sam Bradford Totally Jinxed By NFL Draft Report
"Sources have told us that Sam Bradford, barring an injury in Thursday night’s BCS National Championship, will declare for the NFL Draft." Good luck tomorrow, buddy! [National Football Post]...
Joel Przybilla's Extended Family Is Not Cool With David Stern's Stupid Fines
Portland Trailblazer Joel Przybilla was fined $7,500 for this altercation with Tyson Chandler last week. For comment on this momentous national story, the media naturally turned to the 83-year-old grandmother of Przybilla's wife....
Time To Hide The Sausage
• Nightmare Ant weeps: Wow, those small Western athletic conferences really take their mascots seriously. Oh, I'm sorry, maybe that should have read: "really don't take their mascots seriously." [Storming The Floor]...
Lions Tattoo Takes "Lovable Loser" Thing A Bit Too Far
We're all very proud of the Detroit Lions and their perfect season, and it's highly unlikely that we will ever fail to remember their legendary futility. So maybe the 0-16 tattoo is a bit much....
Report Says Bulldogs Backfield Going Pro
Georgia's Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno are good—but not good enough to go No. 1 to the Lions—so they both feel confident enough to declare for the NFL Draft. [ESPN]...
Horrible Celtics Lose Again
Paul Pierce crab dribbled his way out of bounds in overtime and Charlotte handed the putrid Boston Celtics their fifth loss in seven games. Why did anyone ever think this team was good?...
Because The World Isn't Truly Free Unless The Gators Win
• Tebow for Commerce Secretary: Idiot Congressman asks Nancy Pelosi to delay the certification vote of President Barack Obama, so that he can attend the National Championship Game on Thursday....
Hockey World Is Filled With Finger-Biting, Child-Mugging Thugs
The two tough guys got tangled up near the bench early in the first period, when Peters' hand got a little too close to Ruutu's mouth, so Ruutu bit down—through the glove—drawing blood. Naturally, Peters got a game misconduct, while Ruutu got nothing except a stick to the groin from Peters' teammate...
Rob Parker Is Detroit's Newest Unemployed Worker
I wonder if Rob Parker now wishes Rod Marinelli's daughter had married a career counselor, because she probably could have helped him find a new line of work....
Carmelo Anthony's Curious Love Of The Longhorns
It was a subtle bit of color hidden in an otherwise dry recap of the Denver Nuggets evening, but the opening lead from this AP story has left at least one tipster scratching his head....
The World Series Of Drunk People With Too Much Time On Their Hands
• You're still an alcoholic: Look, no one is impressed by morons throwing ping pong balls into beer cups except other morons. Oh, and Rick Reilly. [LAist]...
Terry Bradshaw Under The Influence Of Jay Leno
What did Terry Bradshaw have to drink in the Tonight Show green room last night? On second thought, that's pretty much just standard Bradshaw, isn't it?...
BCS Voters Can't Be Bothered To Watch Utah Play Football
Utah is 13-0, but the voters who help determine the BCS rankings know that the Utes are probably about the fifth best team out there. How do they know? They just do, okay!...
Versus Would Like To See Your "V"
Nobody receives or understands rodeo/hockey channel Versus, but they will quickly solve that problem with the magic of... ugh, "user generated content" and a not very well thought out web campaign....
NBC Keeps Matt Millen In Their Pretty Little Cage
To everyone who is incensed about The Worst GM In History™ joining NBC's Super Bowl crew, consider the alternative. As long as he's on TV, he can't destroy your favorite football team. [Detroit News]...
Texas Waits For Final Minute To Eat Ohio State's Soul
So I guess anyone who thought the Fiesta Bowl was a giant made-to-order bowl of Buckeye Soup (ahem) had another thing coming. Hey, when you're right 52% of the time ......
Your Wife Wants A Wunder Boner
• Needs less boxing: Can The Contender save boxing? That depends—does it allow chokeholds and roundhouse kicks? [Good Point]...
Hockey Player Dies After Hitting Head On Ice
I know we all love a good hockey fight, but this is a sad reminder that the game is more dangerous than we like to admit....
Someone At NBC Really Loves 3-D
P.S. Try a little harder to hide your contempt, Olbermann. Where do you think your blood money comes from? [Best Week Ever]...