dashiell-bennett-old Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....
Arenas-Crittenton Standoff Just A Hilarious Inside Joke Gone Awry
Everyone is still trying to make sense of the Washington Bullets' (redux) guns-a-blazin' locker room showdown, but according to the latest version it simply resulted from a misinterpreted zinger about attempted murder. Some people have no sense of humor....
Reruns Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL teams who beat another team just to win the right to play that same team again. Why did they even bother?...
Zorn Officially Out
Guess no one told the Redskins that they could sleep in today. Jim Zorn was escorted from the building at 4:45 a.m. this morning and Bruce Allen didn't even buy him breakfast. [ESPN]...
Least Necessary Holiday Sports Column Update
We got some good submissions for the Least Necessary Sports Column "contest," so while you're waiting around for various balls to drop here's some light reading that will make you say, "Why did this happen?"...
Giants Stadium Won't Sell Alcohol At Jets Final Game
In a utterly fitting tribute to their bizarre incestuous relationship, the New York Jets of New Jersey will play the final football game at Giants Stadium. They will also do it without the benefit of their traditionally sloshed fans....
Last Decade's Winner: No One
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unfortunately, the last 10 years were so depressing I'm not sure anyone actually came out ahead....
Meet The Hockey Team That Better Damn Well Win Gold In Vancouver
Canada has selected its very, very, very important Olympic hockey team. No pressure, guys. Just because it's on home ice that doesn't mean they won't find a way to deport you if you only win bronze. [Image via TSN]...
The Year In ... On-Air Mishaps
Just like last year, we're showcasing the people, ideas and memes that made Deadspin 2009 shine. Today: The greatest "oops" moments on live TV....
Happy Birthday, Tiger Woods!
Wherever you are. (He turns 34 today.) By the way, Elin's 30th is on Friday so I'm sure it will be a busy week down at the Windermere Zales. [Other Tiger tidbits @ LA Times/Sporting Blog]...
Mike Leach Situation Helpfully Summarized By Diss Track
Oh, good. Someone did that. "Singers" "KaiN" & "RyZe" (there aren't enough ironic quotes to adequately express my feelings here) have recorded their Team Leach version of "Cleaning Out My Closet," which makes it pretty clear that Craig James and his son are whiny sissy boys. A lot of it even rhymes!...
Last Night's Winner: Two-Fifths Of The New Orleans Hornets
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the two talented New Orleans Hornets who had monster games last night. The rest of their team may stink, but at least those guys looked sharp....
"Dude, Look What You Did To Your Knee!"
Indiana's return to glory was sidetracked last night when leading scorer Maurice Creek dislocated his knee cap. The response from his teammates was not exactly helpful....
Mets Win Jason Bay Sweepstakes, Capping Glorious 2009
Mike Francesa broke the news (really?) that Jason Bay is going to the Mets, pending his turn-and-cough with the doctors. Yay, for legit sports news! (Also, the Giants, worried about appearing too youthful, signed 34-year-old Mark DeRosa.) [DailyNews/AP]...
Tom Cable Did "Exceptional" Job Coaching Terrible Quarterbacks
The Raiders were this close to having an outstanding season. When I say "this close" imagine me holding a picture of JaMarcus Russell, because it was pretty much all his fault that they didn't. It sure wasn't Tom Cable's doing!...
Help Us Find The Least Necessary Holiday Sports Column
The week between Christmas and New Year's Day is tough for sports writers. (Just look at this site you're reading.) It's the time of the year when a desperate columnist will reach for just about anything to meet a deadline....
The Worst Bowl Game In The World (2009 Edition)
Are you busy this afternoon? Probably, because you have a life. However, if you're unemployed or otherwise indigent, get out your scraper because we've reached the very bottom of the college sports barrel. It's time for the EagleBank Bowl!...
The Year In ... Horrific Injuries
Just like last year, we're showcasing the people, ideas and memes that made Deadspin 2009 shine. Today: Horrific Injuries...