dashiell-bennett-old Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tiger Woods And The World's Most Expensive Traffic Ticket
The Florida Highway Patrol has ended their investigation of the Thanksgiving Night mishap that Changed America Forever. No criminal charges will be filed. Just a small fine and a very big marital mess. So what do we know now?...
Chinese Crack Tiger Woods Case With Dramatic CGI Re-Enactment
Simply ... incredible. We are through the looking glass, people. [TMZ, MSF; See also this.]...
Urban Meyer Has A Bit Of A Problem On His Hands
Florida Gator lineman Carlos Dunlap, the defensive MVP of last year's national championship game, was arrested this morning after being found asleep in his car....at a green light. Shockingly, he did "poorly" on his sobriety test and went to jail....
Tiger's "Other Woman" Says Affair Story Is "Ridiculous"
The New York Post landed an exclusive interview with Rachel Uchitel, the woman accused of having an affair with Tiger Woods, as far as angry vehement denials go this is a pretty good one....
Panthers Goalie Thrashed By His Own Teammate
Florida's Tomas Vokoun probably felt a little blue after letting a loose rebound turn into a goal, but how do you think he felt two seconds later when his own teammate clubbed him upside the head with a stick?...
Last Night's Winner: Louisiana Building Contractors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New Orleans Saints, who smashed through the New England Patriots like they were an un-reinforced levee....
Chip Caray Gets Fisted By TBS
"Since the M.L.B. playoffs, we've had several discussions with Chip Caray regarding 2010 and beyond. Both sides have agreed that now is the right time for Turner Sports and Chip to move ahead on different paths." That's bad, right? [NYTimes]...
Charlie Weis: Done
No official word from the university yet, but the New York Daily News is the first to report that Charlie Weis has been fired by Notre Dame....
Hated Rivals No Longer Allowed To Hate Each Other
BYU's Max Hall led his team to an incredible overtime win against hated rival Utah, but now he's been forced to apologize for hating his rival? I thought that was the whole point....
Derek Jeter Scoffs At Your Puny MVP Award
The Yankee Coxswain is your Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, because of his "dignity and elegance." Also? He's an excellent tipper and rarely kills hobos to wear their flesh. [SI]...
TMZ Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like TMZ, which might as well stand for "Tiger Media Zone" the way they've wrapped the Eldrick/Elin saga in a nice warm Snuggie of coverage....
Another Roughrider Goes Home Disappointed
The Saskatchewan Roughriders are not sticking the Grey Cup anywhere after last night's last-second defeat in the CFL championship. It's going to be a long winter up there....
NFL Network Apologizes For Terrible Motherf@*^ing Mistake
The NFL Network takes you inside the game like no other broadcast entity can. Who else could get a shot of Josh McDaniels swearing at offensive lineman on the sideline, then broadcast it live and completely unedited? Absolutely no one....
Be Thankful For Customized Jerseys
Let me begin by saying I have a new respect for those who send us blurry photos of crazy jerseys found at various sporting venues. It's hard to take a picture of a complete stranger without looking like a creep....
BCS Is The Perfect System, Says BCS Website
Listen up, dummy. You probably think the BCS is a terrible way to determine a football champion, but that's because you're a moron. Your stupid playoff ideas are stupid and I know this because I read it on the INTERNET!...
Last Night's Winner: Your Stomach
Everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like anyone who had a brined turkey and tasty, tasty sweet potatoes yesterday. And was lucky enough to have leftovers today....
Allen Iverson To Retire. Unless He Doesn't.
Here's a journalism tip, kids. When the status of a developing story is still in doubt and you're having trouble deciding which angle to take with your coverage—just go with both. Seriously, it's Thanksgiving, so who cares?...
How A Parent-Coach Dispute Turned Into DUI Charge For Rick Adelman's Son
Rick Adelman's son David is on trial for DUI, but the proceedings have revealed that the incident was the result of a sting set up by the father of one of his players. Wasn't this an episode of Hang Time?...
Tim Donaghy's Gambling Buddy Would Like To Imply A Few Things
Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" caught up with Jimmy Battista, the recovering drug/gambling addict who bankrolled Tim Donaghy's awesome NBA bets and went to jail for it. He now has a few sinister insinuations he'd like to get off his chest....
Illicit High-Five Is Apparently A Thing Now
The NFL actually had to release a statement explaining that what happened between referee Jerome Boger and Vince Young on Monday was not technically a high five. You say "tomato," I say "terrorist palm slap." [Houston Chronicle, PFT]...