dashiell-bennett-old Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In Amazing Coincidence, Two Michigan State Players Kicked Off Team
Junior Roderick Jenrette and sophomore Glenn Winston were dismissed from Michigan State's football team two days after unidentified football players were accused of beating up frat boys in a residence hall. Gee, you think it might be the same guys?...
Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...
Last Night's Winner: Guys Who Like Playing Time
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the six Golden State Warriors, who beat Dallas with no help from their teammates or head coach. Sort of like a regular Warriors game....
Spartans Get Early Jump On Off-Season Distractions
Several Michigan State football players may have participated in a ski-mask wearing, face-punching group attack on a campus residence hall. I only have one question: Does this count against involuntary practice limits? [The State News]...
Lacrosse Players Accused Of Terrible Things, Media Braces For Impact
Three Sacred Heart University lacrosse players have been charged with "conspiracy to commit sexual assault" on a female student in their dorm. Less surprising is that coverage of this story is already turning into a potential quagmire of hyperbolic accusations....
Boxer's Death Creates Life For Others
Fighter Francisco "Paco" Rodriguez died from a brain injury suffered during a 10-round match last Friday, but his donated organs saved the lives of eight people, including his own uncle, who was on the waiting list for a kidney transplant....
The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....
Someone Actually Tried To Blackmail Tom Coughlin?
A 30-year-old Philadelphia man, who lawyers say is mentally disabled, has pleaded guilty to sending threatening email messages to Tom Coughlin. Or are they just naturally assuming that any blackmailer who would choose Coughlin as his target must be deranged?...
Old Woman Sticks It To Nazis
Germany has finally recognized the national high jump record that was taken away from Margaret Bergmann Lambert in 1936 because she was Jewish. Oh, and sorry about the whole "trying to wipe out your entire race" thing, too. [NYPost]...
Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....
Last Night's Winner: Referee Jerome Boger
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NFL referee Jerome Boger, who must have had something riding on last night's game. Nobody likes Vince Young that much....
Yale Football Coach Out-Crazies Bill Belichick
Since our nation wasted approximately 82 million man-hours of productivity last week arguing about that stupid fourth-and-two, it's a bit surprising that we the people aren't more enraged by Yale's Tom Williams for raising the stakes for bonehead coaches everywhere....
Ole Miss KKK Protest Goes Swimmingly
"Swimmingly" means "completely embarrassing for white power morons," correct? Then yes, it went "swimmingly." The KKK's hour-long protest against tolerance and common sense lasted about 10 minutes before the hooded wonders were booed off Mississippi's campus....
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...
All Steeler Fans Are Basically Puppy Murderers
A Pittsburgh area man is in jail this morning after he kicked a 13-week-old pit bull to death because it wouldn't walk next to him and he had a Steeler game to watch. Obviously, Troy Polamalu hates animals!...
High Schooler Celebrates Meaningless Block With Trip To The Gun Show
This ridiculous Tecmo Bowl punt return is okay, but I'm really posting this for the goofball who blindsides a tackler, then flexes for his buddies while the play is still happening behind him. It's all about you, Anonymous Special Teamer....
Matthew Stafford Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers....
TV Guide Writers Captivated By Any Ex-Dukie Matchup (Update)
What was the most compelling storyline of this weekend's Orlando-Boston showdown? The heated rivalry between J.J. Redick and Shelden Williams that dates to the time Williams stole Redick's juice box on the team bus to Wake Forest. [Thanks, Todd]...
Jayson Williams Saga May Finally Be Over
According to the AP, Jayson Williams (yes, that one) has accepted a plea deal that will send him to jail for at least 18 months for the accidental shooting of Costas Christofi in 2002....
Colorado May Consider Bake Sale In Order To Buy Out Coach
Colorado's football team stinks and no one really cares for head coach Dan Hawkins, but the usual solution—throwing money at the problem—just isn't going to work this time. They don't have any money left to throw....