dashiell-bennett-old Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami]...

You Really Don't Want To See This
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Sports-O-Ween III: Season Of The Itchy Sweatpants
You people just will not let this go, will you? Just moments after I put up the last gallery of unfortunate costume horrors, my inbox was flooded with still more masquerade submissions. Seriously, folks, this is becoming a sickness....

We're Sorry Your Blog Won't Get Mentioned On SportsCenter Anymore
In case you hadn't noticed, ESPN has ended their morning "Blog Buzz" feature, which was their way of sweet talking the three-dimensional circle of sports blogs. They stopped broadcasting it....let's see...a little over two weeks ago. That's weird, right?...

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

Joe Girardi Helps Car Crash Victim On Way From Game 6
Driving home from Yankee Stadium last night, drunk with power (and champagne!), Girardi stopped to help an accident victim, even though each World Series winner is specifically granted the right to run over one pedestrian, no questions asked. [LoHud/Slanch]...

Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...

Sadly, All The Clever Headline Writers Were At The Game
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The Sports-O-Ween That Wouldn't Die
Halloween is long gone, but people still keep submitting their terribly lame and occasionally offensive sports costumes so that we can post them on this site and embarrass their loved ones. Who are we to deny them their infamy?...

Cheap Shots? That's Just The Way Georgia and Florida Play Football
There's been a lot of debate about Brandon Spikes' cat scratch fever on Washaun Ealey, but there's one point on which everyone seems to agree. Both Georgia and Florida play extremely dirty football and that's the way they like it....

Vicente Padilla Shot In Hunting "Accident"
The Dodger pitcher started his offseason with a bang, receiving a "minor" gunshot wound to his leg while hunting in Nicaragua. Is that some nightclub I'm not aware of? [LA Times]...

Thanks For Mutton
ESPN's E:60 investigative arm has once again cracked the case, introducing the rest of the Western world—at least the part that doesn't read this fair website—to the phenomenon of mutton bustin'....

The Bandwagon Is Actually A Nissan Truck (STILL MORE UPDATES)
Updates Yankee/Cowboy fans come out of the woodwork to defend themselves below......

Popeye Jones Arrested, Gets Free Makeover From Police
Former Maverick draft pick and current Dallas assistant Popeye Jones was popped himself this weekend—nailed with a DUI and the nailed in the face when he resisted arrest. Ahhh, that's justice ... Texas style!...

How Many Polish Soccer Goalies Does It Take To Write A Homophobic Book?
Arek Onyszko was kicked off his Danish soccer club after writing a book titled "Fucking Polack" (seriously), including passages like "I hate gays, I really do." Really? Because the Chinese character tattoos on your beautifully sculpted abs say otherwise. [Brooks]...

Terrible Golfer Banned For Using Drugs To Enhance His Terrible Performance
Doug Barron, a 40-year-old veteran with zero PGA Tour wins, is the first golfer to be suspended under the tour's anti-doping policy. Now he will no longer terrorize the professional ranks with his massive 270-yard drives....

Stay Away From Manu Ginobili's Fangs For Awhile
The Spurs guard had to get rabies shots after taking down a vicious bat with his bare hands. So if you see him foaming at the mouth, he's definitely not infected with a horrible disease! [SA Express-News]...

Owning A Russian Basketball Team Can Be Hazardous To Your Health
If future Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov ever invites you to watch a game in the owner's box, don't accept. Not only will you be stuck watching the Nets, there's a decent chance you'll be caught up in an assassination attempt....

Tells Us Something We Don't Know, Anonymous Sign Maker
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....