dashiell-bennett-old Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dolphins Aim To Keep Saints From Touching Themselves Further
Miami linebacker Channing Crowder muses about this weekend's opponent, New Orleans: "They're undefeated, they're probably smelling themselves, rubbing each other's balls." Except the Miami Herald changed the quote to "[back]." Yeah, that's basically the same thing. [Herald/Twitter]...
Fans, Media Recruited (And Manipulated) In Fight Over Televised Sports (Updated)
Some media outlets want you to rage against a new lobbying organization that claims to represent sports fans, but is actually a front for satellite companies looking to destroy cable TV sports. But who is really manipulating who here?...
Randy Hanson Keeps It In Perspective
After learning that former boss Tom Cable would not face charges for breaking his jaw, Hanson said: "It felt like the Rob Lytle fumble all over again." He's like the Al Davis of terrible analogies. [Yahoo]...
Adrian Peterson's Crotch Welcomes You To New York
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
No Charges To Be Filed Against Tom Cable
The Napa County DA just announced that Raiders coach Tom Cable will not be prosecuted for any crimes as a result of a "tussle" that broke the jaw of assistant Randy Hanson....
Woody Paige Must Have Missed The Meeting
Jemele Hill graduated from "Cold Pizza" to "Around The Horn" today—her first appearance on the show—and Woody Paige wasted no time in making an inappropriate overture to her grandmother. Smooth. [Video via ESPN]...
The Don Cherry Jersey Was A Bold Choice
The Kingston Frontenacs celebrated "Military Night" by paying tribute to Don Cherry. (The jerseys are now up for auction if you would like to buy one.) The game was not televised because all the video equipment malfunctioned. [Frontenacs via Star]...
Begun, The Hockey Playing Ice Bear War Has
A Russian circus manager was mauled to death by a bear wearing hockey skates. First, Anchorage, then Fairbanks, now Kyrgyzstan? The angry sports bears are officially out to get us. This won't end well for humanity. [BBC]...
Magic And Isiah's Friendship Is Not So Friendly Anymore
Magic Johnson and Larry Bird have "co-written" a new book about their lives in the NBA that, among other things, paints a not very flattering portrait of their sometime rival Isiah Thomas. With friends like these, who needs Bill Simmons?...
Another Long Night In The Brett Myers Household
In case you missed it, one more special gem from the NLCS celebration last night—Brett Myers goes in for the smooch. Denied. [TheFightins]...
<i>New York Post</i> Continues Full Court Steve Phillips Press
Day Two of the Steve Phillips Saga and the New York Post has you covered, with more dirt, plus a primer on how to bang interns without them going psycho on you. They do it because they care....
Sore Hamstrings? Get Your Legs Amputated!
Ultra-marathon runners have terrible problems with their toenails, so some choose to get them permanently removed. Or! And I'm just throwing this out there....don't run 150-mile foot races? [NYTimes]...
Young Man Enjoy His First Wilding
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Philly Newsman Wants You To Ride The "Cooch Train"
Fox29's Mike Jerrick did some fantastic “man on the street” reporting for “Good Day Philly” today, interviewing high school kids in sombreros, beating a taxi cab driver with an oar, and then asking youths to ride the “Cooch Train.” Brilliant....
Eric Mangini Deserves Your Scorn ... But How Much Scorn?
Rolling Stone magazine's insult comic dog Matt Taibbi recently took a break from his assault on capitalist swine like Goldman Sachs to turn his wrath on a bigger and more menacing target—Cleveland Browns coach Eric Mangini....
Reggie Miller Trades Restraining Orders With Alex von Furstenberg
The NBA All-Star and the son of the famous fashion designer are still fighting over a girl, even though the rest of the planet stopped caring about these three kids months ago. We've moved on to better scandals, thank you!...
Tim McClelland Believes In His Heart That Nick Swisher Didn't Tag Up
Anyone else getting tired of umpires holding postgame press conferences to breakdown their poor decision making processes? It's bad enough we have to listen Joe Girardi explain his terrible bullpen moves, but this is getting out of hand....
Buy Your Very Own New Jersey Net!
Ok, really it's rent to own. But if you need a large man with questionable basketball skills to come to your birthday party, bar mitzvah—or you just need some boxes moved—the New Jersey Nets can arrange that....
Steve Phillips Suspended After Affair With ESPN Employee
Reports out of ESPN headquarters this morning say that "Baseball Tonight" analyst Steve Phillips is on a "leave of absence," after an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant turned into a special edition DVD release of Fatal Attraction. [Updates below.]...
Jeff Fisher Mental Breakdown Watch, Day 1
The "leader" of the 0-6 Titans showed up to speak at a Nashville luncheon today wearing a Peyton Manning jersey. Said he "just wanted to feel like a winner." See, it's hilarious because he's a failure! [MusicCityMiracles/RecklessLove]...