dashiell-bennett-old Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...
Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....
Arena Football Is Back!
Your wails and lamentations have been heard, people! A year without indoor football is not a year worth living through, which is why the football gods—the really short ones—have resurrected arena football and saved your life....
Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...
Angels Get Nick Adenhart's Jersey Drunk
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....
Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...
Michael Crabtree Surviving Off Delicious Subway Sandwiches
Professional holdout Michael Crabtree has still not signed with the San Francisco 49ers, but don't worry about him. His marketing agent has him endorsing Subway, which is perfect because Crabtree is probably really, really hungry....
The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...
Hockey Player Joins Team He Was Born To Play For
This is Wheaton King of....the Brandon Wheat Kings. The story: Dad (presumably) names son after local minor league hockey team, kid grows up to play for said hockey team, heads explode. [TheScore]...
Truth In Labeling?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
There's One In Every Crowd
A desperate Wisconsin Badger fan that is. He will do whatever it takes to draw attention to himself, even if that means buying tickets for 100 Midshipmen to be his personal bodyguards. (Click to embiggen.)...
Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...
"The Stadium Died At 9:24"
See also: Tiger Stadium Leveled to Final Shovel of Dust [Sports Climax]...
Russian Dude Will Build Arena, Buy Nets, Annex New Jersey (UPDATE)
Russian basketboligarch Mikhail Prokhorov has gone from maybe chipping in a few dollars to build a new arena for the Nets to offering to take over the whole dang team—and maybe the entire NBA while he's at it....
The Bleeding Kansas Athletic Department (UPDATE)
Jayhawk guard Tyshawn Taylor suffered a dislocated thumb during a brawl between KU basketball and football players in front of the student union. I bet the dispute had something to do with evolution....
Fired NBA Refs At Head Of Line To Join The Scabs
The NBA needs replacements for their locked out referees so they're putting together a list of guys who own whistles—one of whom just happens to have been fired for being terrible at refereeing NBA games....
No Autographs, Please. Mr. Hellraiser Has A Plane To Catch
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
St. John's Also Excited About Ambiguous Weather-Based Mascot
Our college sports teams are rocketing into the 21st Century on a wave of aggressive, overcaffeinated, lightning-themed spirit creatures. Why is that bird looking at me like that? Is he smiling or mad? Get out of my soul, winged devil!...