dashiell-bennett-old Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....
The Lion Fan's Lament
After years of losing, what's the only thing that gives Lions fans joy? Taunting angry drunk women as they're hauled out of Ford Field in handcuffs. Still so cold in The D.... [World Of Issac]...
Dimwit Redskins Fans Don't Like Dimwit Who Called Them Dimwits
Today's idiotic Twitter war is brought to you by the Washington Redskins and their fans, who booed their own team during a less than inspiring 9-7 win over St. Louis, then were insulted by linebacker Robert Henson. Wait, who?...
Yankees Not Clear On The Concept Of "Hazing"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Tulsa's Proactive Mascot Teaches You About Electricity, I Think
Many, many years ago, Tulsa made the decision to name their athletic teams after a weather system. Today, that decision has come back to haunt them. Again....
Canada Bogarting Its 2010 Olympic Venues
Canada—a country known planet-wide for its legendary rudeness and treachery—is denying foreign athletes access to Olympics sites in the run-up to the Vancouver Games, in order to protect their precious home-snow advantage. Oh....it is on, hosers....
Houston Astros Fire Their "Manager"
With 13 games to go in their dismal season, the Astros—an alleged "base ball" team from Houston—have fired manager Cecil Cooper. In other news, Cecil Cooper was apparently managing the Astros this season! [Houston Chronicle]...
Chris Fowler Feels Clemson Fan's Pain (Not Really)
If you watched Georgia Tech beat Clemson two weeks ago, you might have noticed this Tiger fan's Oscar reel for Most Distraught Football Fanatic and the announcing crew's on-air sympathy. Of course, off the air was a different story....
Baylor Beer Burglar Baffles BBQ Bozos
Baylor lost to UConn this weekend—yes, football—but the campus isn't really concerned about the Bears' gridiron woes. They'd much rather talk about a girl who might have stolen beer out of some frat guy's cooler while tailgating....
Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....
This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The End Is At The Beginning
The day started with creatively shaved dudes and that's how the day shall end. This is Andrew from Temple University, who submitted his own picture because Miami's unchecked hairy chested ACC aggression will not stand....
Delonte West Is "The Road Warrior"
Cavs guard Delonte West was arrested last night, carrying two handguns and a shotgun. On his motorcycle. A) Where was he carrying the shotgun? (Answer below!) B) Was there an apocalypse that no one told me about? [WUSA9/Plain-Dealer]...
Russian Billionaires Are NBA's Last Hope
All New Jersey Nets owner Bruce Ratner wants to do is get the Nets out of New Jersey and plant them in the heart of Brooklyn, but he's missing one key ingredient. What's it called? Oh right...money. He has none....
Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...
NBA Players Will Have To Call Their Own From Now On (UPDATE)
Here's a tip for the NBA referee's union. When negotiating for better benefits and more job security, try to avoid bargaining from the position of being the most hated and least respected workforce in America....
Psycho T Found Your Dog!
Tyler Hansbrough—and a Andy Katz doppelganger—will find your lost puppy through the magic of social networking (and AT&T! What a great corporate partner!) It's a shame that this doesn't violate any NCAA rules. [Rush The Court]...
Hair Boy and Copper Girl Fight For Airtime Supremacy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....