dashiell-bennett-old Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Does The World Need Cheerleaders?
The answer, of course, is "Yes." But why should that be so? Do we really need leaders to organize our cheers? Do basket tosses contribute to victory? Or is it that you can see ladies' underwear without being consider pervy?...
The Charles Rogers Comeback Hits Another Snag
The former Spartan/Lion was found slumped over in his Mercedes—which was running and still in gear—and was arrested for DUI last night. Or DU Parking. Clearly, he was too drunk to be drunk driving. [Fox]...
Leodis McKelvin Forgives Teens For Unauthorized Yard Work
Bills kick returner Leodis McKelvin will not press charges against the two teenagers who defaced his lawn after his back-breaking fumble against the Patriots. He actually had the vandalism charges in hand, but then he dropped them. [ ESPN]...
Cowboys Could Set Attendance Record, Still Get Blacked Out
The Cowboys have sold over 20,000 standing-room tickets for their official stadium opener Sunday and have a shot to break the NFL attendance record....if only they can can convince a few people to buy actual seats....
Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
No, Sir. You May Not Offer Brandon Inge Your Shirt
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....
ESPN Finally Kills Adam Schefter
Since joining ESPN last month, Adam Schefter has logged approximately 32,000 hours of face time on The Network. I guess his schedule finally caught up with him, because he got the consumption today and had to be put down....
Legless Runner Declares War On Bipeds
Track and field nerds may remember the name of Oscar Pistorius, the double amputee who fought to get into the Olympic Games (and then didn't qualify.) Apparently, he has turned his aggression on people who still have their legs....
Ohio State-USC Game A Missed FAILgate Opportunity
"Ohio State says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop." [Columbus Dispatch]...
Arch Criminals Make Off With Baltimore's Only Memory Of Cal Ripken Jr.
How bad has crime become in Baltimore now that The Wire is off the air? Hooligans pilfered a three-foot high aluminum number "8" from Camden Yards last week. Now no one in the city can count to nine....
Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....
O.J. Simpson's Last Remaining Fan (And Other Tales Of Woe)
We got many weekend submissions for Morning Crap that weren't good enough to "wake up!" to (or earn their own post) but were too good not to share. So they morphed into this special Voltron-like gallery of awesomeness. Tremble, weaklings!...
You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....
Sports Doctors Demand More BRAINS!!!
Three active NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to science. What?! That's just nuts! What kind of crazy doct ... oh ... after they die. Yeah, that makes more sense. [AP]...
Lenny Dykstra's Entire Career Is Now Up For Sale
The "Flying Higher" Kid is auctioning off pretty much every piece of memorabilia from his baseball career, including his 1986 World Series ring. I didn't notice exactly when it happened, but this story has officially crossed line into "sad." [NYDN/BusinessInsider]...
Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...
Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...
Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...