dashiell-bennett-old Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Come For The Golf, Be Overcome By The Noxious Fumes
There's a good reason that Liberty National is the most expensive golf course ever built (and the most expensive to join.) It covers up a toxic waste dump! The radioactive sludge makes night golf so much easier! [Forbes]...
Lousy Franchise Hitches Wagon To Fading Star
The Memphis Grizzlies confirm they have offered a contract to Allen Iverson, because the best way to bring along a young, unpolished team is to add a shoot-first point guard with no patience for teaching....
Billy Gillispie Arrested For DUI. Again.
In the second-most embarrassing performance by a Kentucky-based basketball figure yesterday, the former Wildcat coach was busted last night for driving drunk, his third such incident since 1999. He told officers he was out golfing. At 2:45 a.m. [KenutckySportsRadio/Herald Leader]...
Hey, You Can't Park That There!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Rick Pitino Has Had It With You Lying Liars
Earlier today, police released videotapes of the interviews with Karen Sypher where she accused Rick Pitino of all that bad stuff. Well, Pitino did not like that one bit and he's got the angry press conference rant to prove it....
Ohio State Asks Fans To Stop Being Obnoxious Pricks For Five Seconds
Ohio State is graciously allowing a service academy to play football on its field this season and also politely requests that their fans not mercilessly rain boos, slurs and D batteries down upon the Midshipmen as they take the field....
What A $500,000 Country Club Membership Buys You
A look inside Liberty National Golf Club, site of this week's PGA event, where members pay a $500,000 initiation fee plus $25,000 yearly dues to eat lunch in New Jersey. Ahh, that sweet-smelling Jersey breeze! [Star-Ledger]...
Dan Duquette's Minor League Team Evicted From Stadium
The tractor parked on home plate at Holman Stadium in Nashua, New Hampshire, is not there to mow the grass. It's there to keep the American Defenders from playing baseball until they pay $45,000 in rent and back taxes....
West Ham And Millwall Bringing Back Old School Hooliganism
If you're one of those people who thinks that soccer exists only to support bottle-throwing riots, you're not alone. Supporters of rival London clubs were apparently way more interested in stabbing each other than watching their last game....
Jumpy, Confused Quarterback Will Lead Jets To Promised Land
Mark Sanchez has been named the opening week starter for the New York Jets. Defensive backs everywhere are already swooning. [Glazer]...
Escaping Ben Terry's Grasp Is Harder Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
How Douche Was My Alma Mater?
With their liberal use of dirty girls and shirtless gods, GQ certainly knows how to bring in the eyeballs, but they have outdone themselves again with their latest listicle: "America's 25 Douchiest Colleges." No, you suck more!...
Little League Pitcher Would Really Like To Plunk This Next Batter
Anyone turned off by the hype placed on the kids at the Little League World Series might find some solace in this live microphone catching a young hurler asking for permission to hit a batter. Yay, for all-access!...
Derek Jeter Lovers Still Consistently Loving Derek Jeter's Consistency
Relax everyone. Despite all statistical evidence to the contrary, Derek Jeter is still the best Yankee. Because Paul O'Neill told Mike Lupica he is. How do they keep it doing day after day for all these years? [Daily News]...
What Mysterious (And Heroic) Injury Is Tim Tebow Hiding?
Tebow missed practice! TEBOW MISSED PRACTICE! Something about a stiff back, which shouldn't be a problem for a running quarterback with weak mechanics. But it doesn't matter because he's a walking M.A.S.H. unit that you cannot keep off the field....
Upon Further Review, Tim Donaghy Back In Jail
The disgraced NBA referee was living in a half-way house while awaiting release on his conspiracy conviction, but has been ordered back to prison because of a unspecified parole violation. The whole thing sounds fixed to me. [AP]...
The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...
What Soccer Needs Is More Kicks To The Face
Bolivian soccer has it figured out. When an opposing player elbows you during a fight for the ball, don't take a wailing, overdramatic dive. Just wait until halftime and then give him a flying boot to the head....
Goats Are The New Mutton
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Why Do Japanese People Squint?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a theory. Something to do with the sun always being in their eyes? That's why its on the flag right?...