dashiell-bennett-old Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Donte' Stallworth Out Of Jail
Remember how grumpy you were when you heard that Donte' Stallworth only got 30 days in jail for DUI manslaughter? Well, he was just released after only serving 24 of them. Just in time for a three-day weekend! [ESPN]...

David Cone Will Choose Our Supreme Court
Sonia Sotomayor will go before the U.S. Senate next week to face the gauntlet that is a Supreme Court confirmation hearing. Thankfully, she will have one very powerful ally on her side—noted judicial scholar David B. Cone....

Playing For Pittsburgh Makes Ian Snell Depressed
Add Ian Snell to the list of baseball players struggling with mental issues this season. The good news is that he seems to found a causal link between his crippling depression and playing baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates....

How Can You Miss Chuck Long If He Won't Go Away?
Who has the best job in football? Chuck Long, who is getting paid $715,000 a year to not coach San Diego State, or the consultant getting $125 an hour to figure out how to get rid of him?...

Not Just Another Drunken Rugby Pooping Incident
Australian Rugby has been laid low by scandal after a horrific "atrocity" committed by one its players. Specifically, 25-year-old Nate Myles, who—drunk, naked and locked out of his room—took a giant dump in a hotel hallway. The horror....

Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....

Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing....

Brave Colin Montgomerie Takes Shots at Pirates
A bunch of goofballs dressed as pirates dared golfers at the Scottish Open to hit their water-borne target—so Colin Montgomerie took them out his wedge and nailed it. (From about 60 yards away.) Lousy pirates.... [Daily Mail/Sports Rubbish]...

<i>Baseball Wives</i> Teaches Your Wife About "Road Beef"
The E! True Hollywood Story is documentary TV for people who don't really want to know about what actually goes on in the world. So why is it educating our nation's moms about the concept of "road beef"?...

Western Carolina Football Player Dies During Workout
Ja'Quayvin Smalls, a junior defensive back for Western Carolina, collapsed during a voluntary offseason workout yesterday and later died a local hospital. No cause of death has been determined so far....

Police Close The Book On The Steve McNair Case
Nashville's Chief of Police Ronal Serpas just gave a very thorough and detailed account of the death of Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi and provided a rather convincing explanation of why investigators have officially ruled it a murder-suicide....

Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call....

ESPN: The British Invasion
ESPN is creating a new UK-based channel in order to broadcast the live Premier League matches they now own the rights to. If "First Take" ends up on the schedule, this could destroy the NATO alliance. [Guardian, via Sports Hernia]...

Young Cubs Fan Mocks Ryan Dempster's Pain
This young fan in blue has thoroughly enjoyed Ryan Dempster's comical fall over a dugout railing, not realizing that the pitcher has just fractured his big toe and will spend a month on the DL. Go Cubbies!...

Are The Pacers Too White ... Or Not White Enough?
In the time-honored tradition of raising a controversial proposition for the express purpose of shooting it down, Indy Star stalwart Bob Kravitz asks, "Why are the Indiana Pacers so lily white?"...

Ballhawks Ruining It For The Rest Of Us
You see them at every baseball game. The obsessive geeks who stake out batting practice and clamor over beautiful girls just to get random fly balls from third-string catchers. But now they're refining their tactics and upping their demands....

Lisa Leslie: Expect Bricks
The Superstars was only an hour this week! (Stupid Michael Jackson tributes.) But could they pack 90 minutes of excitement into just one tiny action-packed primetime block? Who likes missed lay-ups?...

Quiet, Stoic Leader To Have Boring Retirement
Quebec Nordique legend Joe Sakic is calling it a career after 20 seasons in the NHL and not a single embarrassing scandal that we could all have a good laugh over now. What a jerk. [Denver Post]...

Someone Else Actually Wants To Buy The Cubs?
Hold the phone, North Siders. Wrigley Field and its tenants have supposedly been sold for $900 million, but a new suitor has stepped in to Cubsblock the Ricketts. Will the team slip through their fingers like a groundball to short?...

Brett Tomko Uses Painting To Ease Pain Of Being Brett Tomko
"For me, the best way to move on from [a bad outing] is to get the paints out. Kind of take my mind off the pitching for a few hours and just kind of regroup." [Star-Ledger]...