dashiell-bennett-old Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Khalil Greene Not Over Anxiety Problems
Greene—0 for his last 16 AB—is back on the DL with his "social anxiety disorder." Maybe he just needs time to grow a better mullet. [MLB.com]...
Darren Daulton Wants To Makes It Clear That He Has Done A Lot Drugs
Everyone knows Darren Daulton was not a saint and he maybe indulged in some personal excess during his 14 major league seasons, but he just wants assure everyone of the real truth—the man was absolutely full of drugs....
Police Called To Break Up High School Softball Game
"Officers were called around 8:25 p.m. on a report of two baseball teams fighting....up to 30 people, some armed with bats, fighting....The combatants were members of the Cheyenne Mountain and Wasson High School girls softball teams." [Denver Post]...
Henry Boys Not Making A Lot Of Friends At Kansas
This story about hoop brothers Xavier and C.J. Henry—and their mastermind father, Carl—is pretty much everything you need to understand about the modern world of college basketball. Try not to let that fact stop you from reading it....
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Urine Samples
The dramatic life and times of an Olympic doping control officer: "I need to see from mid-torso to mid-thigh. I need to see a clear shot of the sample going into the cup....I call it liquid gold.'' [Boston Globe]...
Tim Lincecum's Haircut Is Now Self-Aware
Randy Johnson has had a tremendous impact on the San Francisco Giants' pitching staff, but not because of his experience and wisdom. It's because he has youngsters like Tim Lincecum believing in the power of the mullet....
Billy Mays' Death Is A Golden Marketing Opportunity
Billy Mays was the ultimate pitchman, so what better way to honor his memory than with a poorly conceived, possibly tasteless press release tangentially related to his infomercial lifestyle? Someone get Tony Mandarich on the phone....
Help William & Mary Find A New Mascot
William & Mary is as old school as old school gets, so naturally their sports teams are little traditional/racist. They need a new mascot and it's up to you to prevent (or ensure) that they become the Fightin' Asparagus....
EA Sports Just Taunting Erin Andrews Fans Now
EA's "NCAA Football" game has a new single-player mode called ... wait for it ... "Road To Glory with Erin Andrews." (P.S. You will not be traveling down that road.) [TheRookies]...
Longhorn Linebacker Blitzes Woman's Bedroom With His Car
All-Big 12 linebacker Sergio Kindle drove his car into an apartment building last week, and lacking any other options, left the car behind, ran home and went to bed....
Former Boxing Champion Begging For Change In New Jersey
Rocky Lockridge was a two-time world featherweight champion in the 1980s and is in the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame. Today, he's homeless and living on the streets of Camden. Don't ever become a fighter, kids. [Star-Ledger]...
Mobster Doesn't Take Kindly To Soccer Players Who Insult His Girlfriend
It must have stung Bulgarian goaltender Nikolay Mihailov when his Playmate model girlfriend dumped him for a notorious mob boss—but it probably stings even more when the mob boss decides to attack you with acid....
Cheerleading Isn't A Sport. It's A War
"Between 1982 and 2007, there were 103 fatal, disabling or serious injuries recorded among female high school athletes, with the vast majority (67) occurring in cheerleading." Regular old gymnastics had "only" nine. Yikes. [Live Science, via Bob]...
Ozzie Guillen Not Helping North-South Side Relations
It's time for another round of every Chicago baseball fan's favorite game, "Guess The Deleted Expletive In Ozzie Guillen's Anti-Cubs Rant." Or for bonus fun, just make up a word and get an even better quote....
So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?
Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport....
Geovany Soto Likes That Weed
Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic....
Meet The Next Generation Of C-Team NFL Broadcasters
Have you ever watched a sixth-string announcing team stumble their way through another awful NFL game,and think, "Do they have some kind of assembly line that churns out these lousy ex-football player analysts?" Well, guess what? They do!...
Would Ken Rosenthal Like To Yell At Jerry Crowe Now?
Since Ken Rosenthal (among many others) is the mortal enemy of unfounded speculation, everyone is eagerly awaiting his takedown of L.A. Times columnist's Jerry Crowe's suspicious wonderings over Albert Pujols' power. It should be arriving any minute now....
Pistol-Wielding Old Man Would Like To Play Through
It is super annoying when you're out on the golf course and the group in front of you is playing very slowly, but I was not aware that I had a "moral obligation to destroy" these duffers with hollow-point bullets....