dashiell-bennett-old Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alabama Football Forced To Give Up Wins
Alabama's football program will be placed on probation today and be forced to vacate at least 10 (and as many as 21) wins from the 2005-07 season. That ... hurts?...
Tim Donaghy Has Not Been Enjoying Prison (UPDATED)
Disgraced referee Tim Donaghy will be released from prison next week and not a moment too soon. A press release says that while in the slammer he nearly had his legs broken by a New York mobster. (Update below.)...
Driver Of Nick Adenhart's Car Was Also Drunk
A toxicology report on Courtney Stewart, the young woman who was killed along with Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart in an April car crash, reveals that Stewart—who was behind the wheel of Adenhart's car—was legally drunk at the time....
Cristiano Ronaldo Will Also Accept Large Piles Of Real Madrid's Cash
Just days after Kaka broke the world transfer record by going from AC Milan to Real Madrid, his new squad plunked down another $131 million to take Cristiano Ronaldo away from Manchester United. They are—how you say?—living large....
Little League Coach Teaches Fundamentals Of Breaking And Entering
A Little League coach in Washington State was arrested for burglary after enlisting kids from his team—including his own son—to help him break into an empty shop. The haul? Overhead lights and bolts. What a mastermind....
NHL Did Not Rig The Stanley Cup Finals
Conspiracy theorists are apoplectic after learning that Red Wings' 2009 Stanley Cup Championship gear is already available for sale on the NHL website, but the cooler heads at Puck Daddy have already proven that the Penguins got the same treatment....
Free Fenway Tickets To The Person Who Loves America The Most
Do you want presumably good seats to a Red Sox game at Fenway? All you have to do is convince the son of a failed presidential candidate that you hate socialism—and maybe make a small donation!...
Brad Childress Is Full Of Crap
Brad Childress came out of hiding today to complain about all those unscrupulous reporters and their unnamed sources who make up lies about Brad Childress and create nothing but trouble. Trouble he could end in two seconds if he'd just pick up the phone....
Reebok Gives Shoe Contracts First, Asks Questions Later
Reebok belatedly discovers that they gave a shoe contract to a white guy with an "Air Jordan" tattoo on his leg. To be fair, it was Marcin Gortat, and no one wanted to look that closely. [Skeets]...
Tim Floyd Sneaks Out Of USC
Tim Floyd had a nice little thing going at USC, until everyone started accusing him of being "corrupt" and "buying players." So he packed his bags and went home to Mississippi leaving that whole mess behind....
What's The Deal With The Confetti?
Orlando prematurely celebrated their four-point win (after setting a record for field goal percentage) that still leaves them down a game in the NBA Finals. Way to pick your spots, guys. [Los Angeles Times]...
Chad Johnson Loves His Quarterback, Uncomfortable Sexual Metaphors
OchoCinco on his relationship with his Bengal QB: "We're like Brokeback Mountain. I'm going to be with Carson so much in July that I'm going to be the nanny (for his new twins.)" That's not....awkward. [Bengals; PFT]...
Please Do Not Leave Your House During Game Six
So here we are again ... one year after Pittsburgh lost a tough Game 6 clincher at home to Detroit, we're right back where we started. Only you have to watch tonight's version on your home TV, you ingrates....
David Wells Turned Down Jose Canseco's Generous HGH Offer
Wells claims he declined Canseco's juice suggestions back in 2001. "That stuff is not good for the game and it is not good for your body." And if anyone knows what's good for your body, it's David Wells. [NYDN; NBCBA]...
George Foreman III Wins First Professional "Fight"
One of George Foreman's eponymous sons began his illustrious boxing career with a time-honored tradition—beating up on a human tomato can. Everyone involved in the making of this post should be ashamed of themselves. (I know I am.)...
New Miracle Bat Probably Illegal In This Solar System
Reebok's new Vector-O baseball bat uses special alloys (adamantium?) and speed holes to help you make the cover of Sports Illustrated for your Hulk-like home run blasts. Also doubles as a harmonica. [Uncrate]...
Soccer Player Survives On-Field Heart Attack
Today's most popular viral video? Belgian footballer Anthony Van Loo (funny) suffers a heart attack mid-game (not funny), but survives thanks to his implanted defibrillator (applause!)....
Barry Bonds Is Available, Ladies
Barry Bonds' year-and-a-half long exile from baseball has given him the opportunity to spend a lot of time with his family—which might explain why his wife filed for divorce yesterday. [SF Chronicle]...
$94 Million Just Ain't What It Used To Be
The world's financial oblivion has affected some sports clubs worse than others. Perhaps Real Madrid giving AC Milan $94 million to take their best player will clue you in on who the haves and have nots are....