dashiell-bennett-old Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rudy Giuliani's Son Loses The Case Of "Duke vs. Spackler"
Andrew Giuliani used to play golf at Duke University until the coach that recruited him died, and the new coach realized that he was a terrible golfer. Andy sued after being booted from the team and the judge made him look stupid by quoting Caddyshack as he dismissed the case....
Some Chick To Teach Other Broads About Man Things
The L.A. Dodgers will air a series of radio broadcasts aimed at women, particularly those who don't know much about baseball. Jeanne Zelasko will do play-by-play and talk real slow so that these dames can get the infield fly rule through their thick skulls....
Is The D-Train Back On Track?
Dontrelle Willis won a game yesterday. And his pitching was more than adequate! So has he finally got over his case of the Greinkes or is this just a momentary blip on the mine cart ride to oblivion?...
Amy Mickelson Diagnosed With Cancer
Phil Mickelson has suspended his PGA Tour schedule indefinitely after learning that his wife, Amy, has breast cancer. He has withdrawn from the next two events and she will likely have surgery in the coming days. [Star-Telegram]...
Notre Dame Conveniently Forgets The Terrible Parts Of The Charlie Weis Era
Charlie Weis' detailed year-by-year biography in Fighting Irish media guides somehow fails to mention any season in which a Weis-affiliated team had a losing record. It's not a very long biography. [No Guts, No Glory]...
Lane Kiffin Will Use Any Technology To Get Himself In Trouble
Tennessee has reported itself to the NCAA again, this time after Lane Kiffin mentioned a football recruit by name on his Twitter. In other news, Lane Kiffin has a Twitter account!...
Mets Fan Swallowed By Citi Field Toilet
Oh, Mets fans! It feels like the whole world is out to get you, but honestly, you're kinda asking for it. When one of you goes diving into a baseball stadium toilet after a gold tooth and gets stuck ... we're all a little embarrassed for you....
Clippers To Ruin Blake Griffin's Life
Los Angeles Clippers president Andy Roeser is in loooove with Blake Griffin and since his team won the NBA Draft Lottery, the Oklahoma forward will likely be next to join that house of horrors. He was such a nice boy too. [AP]...
Michael Vick Escapes From Prison!
Convicted dog murderer Michael Vick snuck out of the federal penitentiary in Leavenworth under the cover of darkness this morning, completely undetected by the media. How does he do it?!...
Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....
Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend Gives Jailhouse Interview
Cristal Taylor has given her first jailhouse interview, stating that yes, she was engaged to Dirk Nowitzki; no, he hasn't called; and you bet your ass, she's pregnant....
Enjoy Your Lettuce Wraps, Courtesy Of Briny Baird
The golfer hit a 230-yard, 34-story-high shot into Petco Park and won all of America free lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang's. Nice try, China—I'm not falling for that again. [SteadyBurn; Devil Ball Golf]...
Which NBA Wife Packs Her Husband's Condoms When He Goes On Road Trips?
A non-sequitur of a post on bizarro world sports site MomLogic appears to be an anonymous confession from a "realistic" sports widow who knows what side her road beef is buttered on....
It's The Michael Strahan Show!
I was just thinking the other day that primetime television needs more shows featuring NFL sack leaders in key acting roles. And look at that! It happened. Michael Strahan is the newest member of the Fox family....
A Match Made In Barley And Hops
"Hi fellow brewer fans, I am getting married in August and since both of us are diehard crew fans, we are having a brewers themed wedding." Stop right there. Where are you registered and should I bring bottles or cans? [Wrigleyville23]...
Jon Barry Stinks At Video Games
I must be losing my mind today (Matt Sanchez?), because I think I just saw Jon Barry play one-on-one against a hologram of Kobe Bryant on SportsCenter ... and lose....
Eric Chavez Might Be Done With Baseball Soon
Eric Chavez has been told by his doctors that he has a herniated disk in his back and if he hurts it again, that's it for his career. Man, that's gotta suck....
Only Terrell Owens Can Cover Terrell Owens
Now that the city of Buffalo is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Terrell Owens, Inc., he's just going to go ahead and do his own sports reports, thank you very much. [WKBW]...
John Calipari Wins At Wall Ball
John Wall, the most talked about basketball recruit in the country, will join Calipari at Kentucky. Enjoy what little time you have left with him, Wildcat fans. [Rush The Court]...