dashiell-bennett-old Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Genius Philly Fan Posts The License Plate He Stole From Montreal Writer Online
Everyone knows that all crimes committed immediately following a significant hockey victory cannot be prosecuted under the law, but that rule has always assumed that the suspects aren't complete blockheads who don't know how to keep their mouth shut....

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Mitt
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Floyd Landis Admits To Blood Doping, Claims Lance Armstrong Did It Too
Despite years of denials, disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is spilling his guts about his career-long use of blood doping and performance-enhancing drugs—and claiming that Lance Armstrong taught him how to do it....

Australian Footballer Tells Gay Athletes To Stay In The Closet
An Australian Rules football star just penned a heartwarming op-ed telling his fellow players that it's really awesome if you're gay and everything—but it would be even more awesome if you kept that to yourself. Like, forever....

Horse Race Announcer Yells Himself ... Hoarse
Jim Jacques had a little bit of trouble calling this harness race in South Australia over the weekend. The yelling may not have been up to par, but his impression of a asthmatic tracheotomy patient is spot-on. [TabloidProdigy]...

Calvin Murphy Fires Up The Delonte Got With LeBron's Mom Rumors Again
Hall-of-Famer Calvin Murphy appeared on ESPN Radio in Houston today and as all basketball conversations must do, the topic turned to the rumors about Delonte West's dalliance with LeBron James' mom. Murphy's response: "It ain't no rumor."...

Michael Johnson Was "The Fastest Human Ever," According To Michael Johnson
A new BBC documentary about Usain Bolt—hosted by fellow sprinter Michael Johnson—adoringly mentions the man Bolt beat to claim the "fastest man alive" crown....Michael Johnson! Not mentioned: The one guy who was actually faster than Johnson....

Chiefs' WR Dwayne Bowe On The Mechanics Of Road Beef
Everyone knows that athletes tend to lead swinging lifestyles when they're on the road, but no one is really supposed to talk about it in public. Well, Kansas City wideout Dwayne Bowe just talked about it. A lot....

"Tall Pitcher and Short Stop." This Fall On NBC!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Turkish Soccer Fans Set Fire To Their Own Seats
Fans of Istanbul's Fenerbahce were annoyed that a final day draw gave their hated rivals the Turkish League title, so they rationally decided to tear their home stadium apart from the inside. Yeah, that'll learn 'em. [Daily Mail]...

Jeremy Mayfield's NASCAR Suit Dismissed Due To Lack Of Realism
Racing fans may be wondering what's up with their favorite tweaked out NASCAR family, but sadly the trial of the century between Jeremy Mayfield and his drug-testing bosses has been called off due to crazy things like "the law."...

Indiana High School Basketball Players Indicted For Hazing Incident
Four former members of Carmel High's varsity basketball team were indicted by a grand jury and will face misdemeanor battery charges for two incidents in which they hazed and/or sodomized school mates. This is definitely going in their permanent files....

And Your No. 1 NBA Draft Pick Goes To ... The Wizards
Sorry, John Wall. Washington leapfrogs four teams to get the No. 1 slot. My vague, unverifiable prediction: The Nets will be glad for this in the long run, I think....

Manute Bol Is Not Doing Well
Former NBA giant Manute Bol in serious condition in a Virginia hospital, suffering from kidney failure and something called Stevens–Johnson syndrome. All this because he spent the last several months building schools in Sudan....

All Of Roger Clemens' Physical Gifts Can Be Purchased In This Mystery Discount Box
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Young Boozer Carries On Boozer Family Tradition In Alabama
Meet Young Boozer III, future state treasurer of Alabama. His dad, Young Boozer Jr., played football for the Crimson Tide and was Bear Bryant's roommate. Alabama continues to be awesome....

Two Very Different Approaches To Honoring Your Contract
Houston's Andre Johnson wants to re-negotiate his seven-year contract that has five years remaining on it. Oguchi Onyewu wants to play for AC Milan so badly, he'll do it for free. Who is the dummy and who is the hero?...

Girl Sleeps Through Her Own Interview During Rangers Game
I have no idea what's going on in this interview, but neither does the girl who is apparently part of it. Funny that the elbow to the head didn't perk her up. [Thanks to Eric R. for video]...

Soon You Can Spit On Chris Berman Anytime You Want
Chris Berman will receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, placing him alongside such luminaries as Zsa Zsa Gabor, Don Johnson, Terry Bradshaw and Mickey Mouse. If only there were an appropriate Eagles lyric for this occasion. [Image]...

Knicks To Woo LeBron James With C-List Celebrities
Chicago may be willing to hire the ultimate franchise-killer in order to lure LeBron James to their clutches, but they can't compete with the raw star power of New York's sort-of-recognizable personalities pleading on their behalf....