dashiell-bennett-old Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is Brett Favre Coming Back Out Of Spite?
You didn't think you were getting away with zero Brett Favre news today did you? My favorite angle of the saga? Favre only wants to play again so he can screw with Ted Thompson....
Manny Ramirez Is Now Very Fertile
"Two sources told ESPN's T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is hCG—human chorionic gonadotropin....a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production." [ESPN]...
The Dirk Nowitzki Saga Takes A (Not) Unexpected Twist
A friend of the crazy lady living in Dirk Nowitzki's house says that the woman is Dirk's fiance. Oh, and she's pregnant. Bum-bum-bum! [CBS11]...
Manny Ramirez Releases His Statement On Suspension
Manny Ramirez released a statement [opens in PDF] saying that the positive test comes from a medication that was prescribed to him by a doctor for a legitimate medical issue. [Los Angeles Times]...
Ballpark Hot Dogs Served On A Bed Of Boobs
You haven't enjoyed a SkyDome (now and forever) hot dog until you've done so out of the bountiful cleavage of a female Blue Jays fan in the third deck. [Total Pro Sports]...
Manny Ramirez Fails Performance-Enhancing Drug Test
Manny Ramirez has failed a performance-enhancing drug test and has been suspended 50 games, effective immediately. Well ... I guess that's everyone! (Lots, lots more to come, obviously.)...
Chelsea Is Not Taking Their Champions League Defeat Well
Barcelona pulled off a miraculously late rally to win their Champions League semi-final slugfest over Chelsea yesterday, but the defeated English are having some trouble coping. At least no one has hung themselves! Yet....
Delaware Still Not As Fun As Las Vegas
Delaware's governor says he will keep fighting to make sports betting legal, even after his wagering bill lost in the state legislature by two votes. I had +3.5, so at least they covered. [Star-Ledger]...
Ron Artest Once Saw A Guy Get Stabbed In The Heart (UPDATE: For Real)
The NBA Playoffs are getting very chippy—even more so—but at least no one has been murdered on court with a broken table leg yet. Because Ron Artest would hate to see that happen....again....
Why Did Kareem Only Hustle In The Playoffs?
Can statistics prove that the NBA regular season is a tedious neverending slog that not even the lazy players can be bothered to care about? [Slate]...
Toledo Athletes Accused Of Point Shaving
Six basketball and football players from the University of Toledo and two men from the Detroit area have been indicted on charges of "conspiracy to commit sports bribery" for shaving points between 2004 and 2006....
Should Lane Kiffin Be Recruiting Convicted Rapists?
So far, Lane Kiffin's numerous recruiting shenanigans have been adorably goofy and pointless, but his latest controversy is so serious and meaningful and worthy of mindful debate that I kind of prefer the other kind....
Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....
Local Baby Unimpressed By Heisman Winner's Wristband Collection
Legend says that anyone who touches Tim Tebow before their first birthday gets free tuition at Florida. More notable: Tebow is wearing seven inspirational wristbands (and a rubber band)! Live strong, indeed. [The Smiths]...
Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout
A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat....
Bow Down Before Your New Mayor, Detroiters
Piston legend Dave Bing has been elected to serve the remainder of Kwame "Sex Text" Kilpatrick's term as Lord of The D. I hear he plans to move the city to Ontario. [Detroit News; photo]...
Roberto Alomar Is Clean (From A Legal Point Of View)
The woman who accused Roberto Alomar of secretly almost giving her the AIDS stuff has withdrawn her $15 million lawsuit, helping Alomar "score a legal victory"—or more accurately "taking his money to go away."...
Phoenix Coyotes Go Bankrupt, Forget To Tell NHL
Remember when the Jets left Winnipeg for Phoenix and everyone said, "Real smart! Putting a hockey team in the desert!" Yeah, they're probably on the way back to Canada with their tail between their legs....
Why "Madden" Designers Watch More Game Film Than John Madden
Meet the EA Sports designer who puts together the playbooks for Madden football games. He's the reason you need a three-year NFL assistant's gig to figure out the damn game. [Sports Prose]...
You Could Be A Heartless Corporate Giant For One Day
The Peoria Chiefs want to sell naming rights for their stadium, but there are no companies left in America with the financial security to finance such a project. So do you have $6,000?...