dashiell-bennett-old Page 89 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jimmy Smith Is Not Handling Retirement So Well
Former Jacksonville Jaguar star Jimmy Smith was pulled over for a minor traffic violation yesterday and ended up in jail on cocaine possession charges. That's not what I call enjoying your golden years....
NHL Playoffs Operating With Deadly Efficiently
Boston brushed Montreal aside to complete their sweep last night and will see the second-round for the first time in 10 years. (Oh boy! More sports triumphs for Boston!) Meanwhile, we've already forgotten who the Canucks beat 4-0, Columbus neglected to set their alarm clocks for the Detroit series, ...
You Are The Falcon, And I Shall Remain...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Minor League Bat Dog Ejected For Foul Ball
Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball fetching dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, was relieved of his duties after relieving his own uh..."duty" on the field mid-game. That's a crap call. [Triad]...
Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....
Percy Harvin, Brandon Tate Caught In Draft Drug Sting
Just because B.J. Raji is clean that doesn't mean that there aren't other pro prospects who like the wacky weed. [Fox Sports]...
Ole Miss Football Players Don't Read So Good
Mississippi lineman Jerrell Powe raised some hackles this weekend when he was cited by police for a noise violation—then told the officer that he couldn't sign the citation because he doesn't know how to read....
Even Kansas Is Somehow Benefiting From John Calipari's Move
The Henry brothers—high school senior Xavier and his Memphis Tiger sibling, C.J.—are both enrolling at Kansas. (Sources say!) Way to kick a Door when it's down. [Fox, via RTC; more @ SI]...
Ghetto Golf Teaches Us About Urban Blight, Golf
An enterprising video game developer is working on a video game that combines "Grand Theft Auto" with "Tiger Woods PGA." I think even Russian mob-connected carjackers might find this one offensive....
William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...
Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....
Alexander Ovechkin Can't Drive 55
Rachel Nichols had a nice "so now you know" profile about the NHL's goofy MVP on E:60 last night. What do you think happens when a toothless, 23-year-old adrenaline junkie gets handed $100 million?...
Cubs Fans Will Never Escape Their Terrible Destiny
A rogue cat invaded Wrigley Field yesterday, reminding Cubbie fans everywhere that the ceaseless torment of loving sport's most accursed franchise will follow them to their eternal damnation beyond the grave....
Yes, Hockey Does Have Buzzer-Beaters
After giving up a 3-goal lead, Carolina beats New Jersey on a slap shot with 0.2 seconds left in the game, which I guess is not a lot of time remaining.[NHL]...
Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...
Karen Sypher Speaks (Sort Of)
Karen Sypher, the woman at the center of the bizarre Rick Pitino extortion thingy wants to give her side of the story. Her vague, paranoid, possibly disturbed side of the story....
Jim McMahon Is The "MVP Of The Bedroom"
It's come to this: The former Bears quarterback has become a pitchman for a mysterious sex drug. [WGN Morning News]...
The Glorious Return Of The "Superstars"
Because television officially ran out of ideas six years ago, ABC is bringing back "Superstars," the insane multi-sport athletic competition designed to humiliate your childhood heroes. And guess who is the starring superstar!...
Erick Dampier Should Not Think Out Loud
"Every time [Tony Parker] drives the lane, we have to put him on his back....My first foul Thursday night is going to put him on his back. I guarantee it." [Dallas Morning News]...
"Moneyball" Casting Department Seeking Undervalued Actors
The cast of Steven Soderbergh's ridiculous Moneyball adaptation is starting to come together and it looks to be about as awesome as a dramatic feature about sabermetrics could possibly be....