dashiell-bennett-old Page 90 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Four No-Hitters In A Row? OK, That's Impressive
When I heard a high school baseball pitcher threw three consecutive no-hitters, it was like "Whatever." But when the same kid does it four times in a row ... now you've got my attention....
Andy Kennedy Avoids Another International Incident
Mississippi's fun-loving, cabbie-punching basketball coach pleads guilty to disorderly conduct for his drunken police adventure and will not serve jail time. Hopefully, that means Mrs. Kennedy will finally get some release. [ESPN]...
Druggie NFL Prospects Not Actually On Drugs
Remember all the fuss recently about certain draft prospects who tested positive for drugs at the scouting combine and how it made everyone sad for today's youth? Yeah, none of those guys actually tested positive....
Boston Marathon Winners Shockingly Not From Boston
Ethiopia's Deriba Merga (he's the guy) and Kenya's Salina Kosgei (the woman) won the Boston Marathon today. An American finished third! How cute! (That's second place writhing in agony on the ground, FYI.) [AP; Star-Tribune]...
Alexander Ovechkin Would Have Made A Lousy Cold War Spy
The Captials star was booted from the Rangers practice today "'because they're afraid of me,' he said with a smile." Really? Which of your first two home losses scared them the most? [NYPost]...
This New Detroit Lion Logo Should Fix Everything
The rumors are true. It seems that the new Lions logo that "leaked" awhile back is legit and a new typeface and squiggly lines will soon usher in a glorious new era of Detroit football....
Polo Massacre Makes Horses With Broken Legs Seem Quaint
A friendly polo match in Florida turned in an equine Jonestown on Sunday, when 21 horses suddenly dropped dead due to a mysterious "toxin" just as play was about to begin. Yikes....
Montreal Canadiens To Feel The Power Of Celine Dion's Love
The Montreal Canadiens are for sale! And do you know who would be the perfect caretaker for this historically-gifted and beloved franchise? Canada's No. 1 shrew-like pop schmaltz siren!...
Patriots' Day Gives Boston A Reason To Feel Special For Once
On this day, 342 years ago, a group of bloodthirsty Welsh mercenaries attacked defenseless Pilgrims with boiling tea kettles, winning the War of 1812 so that Boston could have day baseball on a Monday....
The Vancouver Canucks Have A Scouting Report On Your Wife
Here's another gem I missed from the first-round of the NHL playoffs. It seems that the Canucks are not only trouncing St. Louis on the ice, but they also lead in trash-talk opposition research....
Lies, Damned Lies, And Swimsuit Issues
Sports Illustrated publishes a fake letter to the editor about their Swimsuit Issue and the world nearly explodes. You know....I think some of those Penthouse Forum stories might be slightly embellished as well. [Cleveland Frowns]...
NHL, NBA Playoffs Not Over Yet
How was your weekend? I had no access to the internet (or TV! The horror), but I trust that things around these parts were quiet and uneventful with little or no boat rocking whatsoever....
Sean Astin Is "Rudy." Now and Forever
Maybe you've heard of a little story called "Lord Of The Rings." He was in all three of those too, you know! Sheesh. [Journal Gazette]...
Famous Guy To Become Slightly Less Famous
Oscar De La Hoya "retired" today, which is what boxers do while they wait for someone to offer them $20 million for their once-in-a-lifetime comeback payday. He will be missed?...
Hasheem Thabeet Has Checked Out
The junior center will give up his final year at UConn—as if this image didn't already scream, "Your amateur athletics bore me." [SI]...
Isiah Thomas Is Florida International's Problem Now
Florida International stinks at basketball, so I guess they figured—if we're going to stink we might as well leave a spectacular stench all over the basketball world. That's the only explanation for hiring Isiah Thomas....
Josh Beckett Suspended Six Games
Josh Beckett has been suspended for being a jerk to the team that just lost a teammate in a horrible accident. And there was never another fight at a baseball game again. [AP]...
Yep. That's Bruce Pearl Rapping With No Shirt On
The UT athletic department held their third annual VOLSCARS ceremony that I think is supposed to be a play on "Oscars" (as in Academy Awards) but it just reads as "Vol Scars," which is disgusting. Anyway, it's some sort of school-wide ESPY awards and this year's "entertainment" featured head basketb...
Dodger Fan Unable To Dodge Knife
Opening Day at Dodger Stadium went off without a hitch. There was plenty of fighting, gun-waving, knife play, vandalism and general mayhem to keep everyone on their toes....