dashiell-bennett-old Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adrian Peterson Does Not Get Hockey
Like many a local celebrity before him, Adrian Peterson was given the honor kicking off the Minnesota Wild game last night with their traditional chant of "Let's Play Hockey." That didn't work out so well....
San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...
Why Do The Mets Hate Children?
There was a time when the New York Mets welcomed young children into their stadium with open arms, but now that they're in a new clean stadium and not some old junkyard....screw those kids....
Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns Reduced To Fighting Chickens
Good job, Michigan State. Your failure to rescue the city of Detroit from financial ruin has forced a once great boxing champion to play tic-tac-toe against poultry for money. I hope you're happy....
John Calipari Continues His Dismantling Of Memphis
It was bad enough when John Calipari's daughter decided to follow her dad to the University of Kentucky, but it looks like Memphis isn't going to get to keep any of his players either....
Connecticut Isn't Terrible
Another 20-point win, another national title for UConn. This is the third undefeated season for the school—the fifth all-time—and their sixth national championship. I guess they have an okay program. [ESPN; The Big Lead]...
Martellus Bennett's Blog Is A Thing Of Beauty
Martellus Bennett (no relation) is best known for his fine performance on HBO's Hard Knocks and his ability to rhyme "Romo" with "homo." Now he's a blogger....and he is awesome at it....
Adorable Michael Jordan Thinks He Can Still Play
Yesterday, I implied that Michael Jordan's reaction to his Hall Of Fame induction might be indifference or dismissal of such a trifle, but it was even worse than I imagined. The guy is actually insulted!...
Connecticut Goes For Perfection Once Again
The UConn Lady Huskies go for broke tonight in the National Championship game. Win and they're immortal—lose and they're the biggest chumps of all time....
Blake Griffin Heading To NBA
Blake Griffin will get paid for his concussions from now on, thank you very much. (Also, joining him: Chase Budinger and Jodie Meeks.) Repeat after me: No Clippers, No Clippers, No Clippers, No Clippers. [AP]...
Taking Stock Of Tyler Hansbrough
The big question on the mind grapes of college basketball fans this morning—after "Hey, what happened to the couch?"—is just how good was Tyler Hansbrough?...
The San Antonio Spurs Are Old And Broken
Manu Ginobili is out for the rest of the season with a stress fracture in his right ankle. Unfortunately, San Antonio's warranty has expired. [SA Express News]...
Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
He had the genes, the Aryan good looks, and the resources to become a top-flight college quarterback. If only someone had checked to see if John Elway's son ever cared about football in the first place....
Maybe B.J. Raji Isn't A Dopehead
Oh, anonymous sources ... you've done it again. Those crazy "web logs" have reported that at least six football players failed pre-draft drug tests, which the players naturally deny. So whose pants are on fire?...
Brother, Can You Spare A Horn Section?
Bemidji State has to borrow George Mason's pep band for the Frozen Four this weekend. They would have brought their own, but they had to save up money for skate rentals. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
Your Team's Season Is Already Over
The Yankees offseason maneuvers are a complete and total disaster. They might as well have taken $340 million and dumped it in the Harlem River for all the good it did them. What a disgrace....
An Oddly Fitting End To Detroit's Final Four
All week long we heard about how much this game meant for the city of Detroit. Since the "Detroit" team was left a humbled, burned-out shell of its former self, I'd say that's appropriate....
Josh Pastner Now In Charge Of The Door
Memphis has promoted boyish assistant Josh Pastner to replace John Calipari as their head basketball coach. But when does the live 24-hour live web feed begin? [MyFoxMemphis]...
Plaxico Burress Just Not Caring About Anything Anymore
Plaxico Burress has obviously just given up on obeying any authority figure ever. Just days after the Giants finally dumped him, comes words of another run-in with police that did not end happily for anyone....
Attention Hockey Players: Doctors Would Like To See Inside Your Brain-Damaged Noggins
Former Red Wing/Hurricane/Flyer Keith Primeau will donate his soft squishy hockey brain to science. Now ... or is he still using it? [Freep]...