daulerio-old Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rockies Fans Need To Bust Out
Every single person who chooses to disrobe at a sporting event in front of thousands of people is usually grinning from ear-to-ear, hypnotized by a state of joyfulness they've lost while suffering through the daily malaise of being fully-clothed....
You're No Yngwie Malmsteen, Banana Hands
Don't you go Hollywood, Jake....
ESPN Insists You Watch Them Torture Miguel Tejada
Tonight at 7 p.m. ET, ESPN's E:60 unleashes its orchestrated ambush of Miguel Tejada in all of its uncomfortable, Schapp'd-up glory. They couldn't sit on the story long enough because, well, a 33-year-old man posing as a 31-year-old is something that needs to be revealed as soon as possible so that...
Inglorious Bastardization
The Sports Illustrated cover line writers are big fans of glorious returns, obviously. But what makes these particular returns that much more glorious than others? This is the question posed by Deadspin reader Chris Corley, who asks who will be the next Return To Glory....
Terry Pettis And The Infinite Madness
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Tragedy In The Big D
The birthday party for the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys was celebrated the last night at a Dallas night club where he was joined by friends and family members. Tensions ran high for a little bit when an unexpected guest dropped by and moved through the throngs of people toward the guest of hon...
Always A Fun Night In Philly When The Mets Are In Town
Why can't you dim-witted Mets fans just behave yourselves when you come to Philadelphia? We get it. You like to be loud and obnoxious, and you won't back away from a fight. That would be an insult to your Cro-Magnon Guido charm if you walk away from a playful taunt with a smile or just show some re...
Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...
Debating Race And Offensiveness, Chicago Style
Over the weekend, much commotion was made about the various Fukudome T-shirts and bandanas that were being sold at Wrigley Field. The one item that's caused the most controversy is the "Horry Kow!" T-shirt that is apparently now banned from being sold by vendors, which featured a slant-eyed Cubbie, ...
Hurry, Before Alex Rodriguez Steals This Job
On Friday, Gawker received an email from the editor of femalemuscle.com, who is on the look out for a full-time blogger to take make "femalemuscle.com into the Gawker of her genre." Well, knowing that there are a few of you out there who are sports blog hobbyists looking to go pro, it only seemed na...
John Marzano Dead At 45
Over the weekend, some sad news out of Philly, as MLB.com broadcaster John Marzano was found dead in his home at the age of 45. Details are a little sketchy at this point, but it appears Marzano either had a heart attack or fell down the stairs....
Sir, You Seem To Have Dropped Your Terrible Towel
For those of you out there whose Mondays feel incomplete without a naked picture of a Pittsburgh Steeler, your day is about to pick up a bit. First, it was kicker Jeff Reed, snapping a picture of his freshly shorn pubis region then having it hit the web. Now, wide receiver Santonio Holmes has allege...
Kenton Keith Is A Perfect Handcuff Running Back
Colts backup running back Kenton Keith was arrested early Sunday morning for drunk and disorderly conduct and contributing to the delinquency of a minor after cops found him glassy-eyed and disrespectful outside of Cloud 9 nightclub in Indy....
Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...
Revisiting Kevin Johnson's Harold Reynolds Defense
As you may know, former Phoenix Sun point guard is running for mayor of Sacramento. Yesterday, his opponent resorted to dirty politics by digging up a 159-page document from the 1996 sexual misconduct allegation against KJ from a 16-year-old girl. In the report, Johnson said he had a friendship wit...
Ric Bucher Gets No Big Love From Angry Jazz Fans
ESPN's NBA sideline yapper Ric Bucher will most likely not be invited to any Church of Latter Day Saints picnics anytime soon. During an ESPN radio interview with Colin Cowherd, Bucher suggested that the reason Utah was one of the the toughest places to play was because their fans are so pent-up and...
Get Along, 76ers
Here are some more not-so-revealing photos of an NBA dance team, courtesy of internet rapscallion Don Chavez, who pulled these pictures of the Sixers dance team acting like an ample-bosomed professional dance team out at a bar, from some unsuspecting member's Webshots album. The significance of thi...
Mark Littell, The Nutty Buddy, Is Completely Nuts
Two days ago, I emailed Mark Littell, former major leaguer and creator of the Nutty Buddy to see if he'd comment on that story I was working on about Flyers center Patrick Thoresen and the dangers of pucks (or anything) to the groin, etc. I told him (or, rather, the Nutty Buddy crack email team) tha...
The Japanese Don't Believe In Tommy John Surgery
The durability of major league pitchers is a fun debate to have with old baseball guys who long for the days before middle relievers and letting starters accumulate pitch counts until their tendons snapped in half. Those purists would most likely agree with the coach of Kawamato's technical high sch...