daulerio-old Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...

Meet The Future Mrs. Andy Roddick
This little lassie just got herself engaged to Andy Roddick (the one on the left.) Her name is Brooklyn Decker, a 20-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit exhibitionist, who's been dating Mr. Roddick for a little over a year now. Decker and the former Mr. Mandy Moore met in New York last year, where ...

Hugh Douglas Wants To Kill Me
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacr...

Sleep Like Mike
If you've got extra space in your crib and have asked yourself recently, "What's a great way to blow some of my hard-earned cash on a completely unverifiable piece of athlete memorabilia?" then today is yours to rejoice in: You could be the owner of Michael Jordan's old, dirty water bed from when he...

Soccer? Gay? Whaaaaat?
Leave it up to a foreigner to figure out why Americans are so down on soccer. This snippet culled from an editorial on football.uk.com written by Marty Mercado maps out all the reasons the U.S. ignores the sport: overcommercialization, not enough scoring, too multicultural, and, of course, because i...

Shaq's New Diesel
The black Perez Hiltons over at Media Take Out unveiled some photos of Shaq and his post-divorce hook-up, who if memory serves me correct, looks alarmingly similar to Shaq's ex-wife, Shaunie. (It seems Shaq has a thing for cinnamon-colored ladies with Legend of Billie Jean haircuts. )...

Let's Ride The Bus Together
Greetings. Today is the first day as an official full-time member under the employ of one William F. Leitch and Gawker Media. What this role will actually entail has yet to be determined. We're hoping to have something hammered out over the next couple weeks so we don't confuse you, have duplicate p...

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....

The Favre Retirement Snafu Mystery
So, honestly, what in the name of fucking Florio happened today with the Packers.com very brief, yet very public screw-up regarding Brett Favre's retirement? About an hour ago, the Packers PR monkeys fessed up to the whole situation, telling Dennis Dillon at The Sporting News that, "The people who h...

It's Almost Time For the NFL Combine And That Means...<em>Mamula</em>
ESPN dove into the Mamula pool early this year with the annual "Hey, let's get Mike Mamula to talk about how much of a bust he was..."-story that antsy NFL reporters hop on during the post-Pro Bowl dead zone. This year at ESPN, Pat Yasinskas (rhymes with "Dasplinkas" — maybe ) drew the Mamula card, ...

Gah, Gah, Gah...Richard Zednik's Throat Slashed
Sure in the next couple hours there will be bloodier, gorier pictures, but the full throat slashing skate accident experienced by Florida Panthers' forward Richard Zednik is....shiver....

The Heavy-Hearted Pro Bowl Starts Now
So, that'll be it for me today. Please enjoy the Pro Bowl festivities. Remember to pour a Pina Colada out to pay tribute to fallen soldier Sean Taylor....

Christian Group to Protest ESPN Tomorrow Over Culture of Insensitivity
It seems the latest round of Berman videos was enough to prompt a return trip to Bristol for angry Christians. A press release reveals all of ESPN's sins that need to be addressed and protested tomorrow at noon:...


Manny's Dred Holder Doesn't Look Circumcised
Seriously, what's in Manny Ramirez's hair thingee? [The Sports Hernia]...

Fernley Coach May Lose Job Over Hart Situation
Even more fallout from the bizarre Kevin Hart puts-a-Cal-hat-on signing day sham: The Fernely High School fraudster's coach, Mark Hodges, may lose his job....

Poofy-Haired Gnome Takes Kevin Hart to Task
Diminutive, exploiter of dying old men-novelist and Detroit Free Press "columnist" Mitch Albom jumped up on a stack of a phone books in order to impart some moral judgment about sad recruitment faker Kevin Hart. Albom, pumped full of rock star ego thanks to Oprah Winfrey's fanbase embracing him like...

Kolber, Tafoya Put Out To Pasture?
Courtesy of the firestarting Florio at Pro Football Talk:...