dmr2 Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This R2D2 Keg Is The Droid You've Been Looking For Your Entire Life
Meet R2DKEG, the most popular drug-dispensing robot at the LSU tailgate (because C-3PBLOW will not fucking shut up)....

Vikings Rookie Placekicker Forces Tie, Breaks Tie, Receives Tie
Week one of the NFL season was full of strong debuts. But the best rookie quote came, to no one's surprise, from the Vikings kicking unit. Blair Walsh nailed the first four field goal attempts of his career on Sunday, all of them coming after the third quarter. His third was a 55-yarder as time exp...

Knicks Fans Nearing Long-Awaited Reunion With Former Point Guard Isiah Thomas
In the 2007-2008 season, Bill Belichick won 18 games and was hailed as a genius. In the same year, Isiah Thomas won 23 games. He was fired. The Knicks have made a lot of mistakes in the last decade, but letting Thomas go was surely the most egregious. He was canned just days after leading the Knick...


What If Every Pitcher In Baseball Were Mariano Rivera?
Trying to compare Mariano Rivera to other pitchers is like trying to compare a photon to other sprinters. Out for out, the difference between him and Pedro Martinez is the difference between Pedro and a league-average player. He hasn't had a full season much better or worse than any other, but he's ...

When Does Major League Baseball Season Begin?
When is Opening Day? Did you know it already happened? This week, the Mariners and Athletics split a two-game series in the Tokyo Dome. Kids in Oakland and Seattle rushed home from school to watch them from 2 to 5 a.m....

The Verducci Effect Is Overworked And Broken Down
Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci came out with his annual "Year After Effect" column yesterday, based on his hypothesis that that young pitchers tend to break down the season after an increased workload. Specifically, a pitcher 25 and under is supposed to be at risk if he pitched at least 30 more i...

Baseball's Hall Of Fame Voters Are Irrational, But Not For The Reasons You Think
Last year, Bert Blyleven, the former Twins right-hander whose Hall of Fame candidacy was long a cause among the stathead community, got into Cooperstown on his 14th ballot. But was it really a triumph of rational thinking or merely the product of a different kind of irrationality? We revisit what we...

How Many Times Have We Farted In Human History? A Very Rough Calculation
I was sitting next to my friend on a bus the other day. He farted. It got us thinking: How many farts have there been in human history?...

Hookers: A Deadspin Econometric Investigation
Reader "Steve Dildo" has alerted us to the client list of the "Desert Divas," an Arizona prostitution ring that was busted three years back. Mr. Dildo was most interested in the presence of a "Kevin Pitsoogle" on the list, but we've determined that this name is fake, unconnected to the similarly nam...

Mexico Rides Strong Pitching To The Top Of Our Unnecessarily Abstruse Little League World Series Power Rankings
Welcome to the second installment of DRURY, our exclusive Little League World Series power ranking and prediction engine. Yesterday's edition was postponed due to the earthquake and lack of interest. The ranking is a composite of the teams' box score statistics and schedule strength—see the original...

You Can't Fight A DMV-Nominated Samurai Champion In Lieu Of A Trial Anymore
A tipster has sent us a story nine years old but timeless. You might not know that in England, drivers must fill out a specific form in order to avoid paying taxes on an unused vehicle. You also might not know that in Medieval England, trials were often settled by the two parties engaging in single ...

Sabermetrix Are For Kids: Introducing Our Little League World Series Power Ranking And Prediction Engine
We're a few days into the Little League World Series, which means it's time to unveil our system for evaluating the teams: DRURY, or Determination of Robustness of Undoubtedly Rambunctious Youths. It takes box score statistics from every game, converts them into a composite runs scored and allowed p...

Here's Video Of The Georgetown-China On-Court Fight
Via @bubbaprog at SportsGrid....

Knock Out Chris Rix, Win Five Grand: Here's Your Price List For The Miami Hurricanes' Alleged Football Bounties
In Charles Robinson's Miami shitstorm investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro claims that he issued bounties for in-game achievements and targets. We've compiled them for your convenience. Here are the players who supposedly collected:...

Louis C.K. Versus Dane Cook, By The Numbers
E.B. White once likened analyzing humor to dissecting a frog, in that the frog dies and that most observers are grossed out by the process. But who will object if we dissect Dane Cook? Here's a statistical look at how two very different comedians elicit reactions from their audience....

Matt Stairs: Spectacularly Just Good Enough
Matt Stairs, who on Wednesday announced his retirement, was the character actor who had a few decent roles in the 1970s and played solid bit parts ever after. He was a Ned Beatty of a player. He had a fine career. Always on the roster for his offense, he delivered above-average results with the bat ...

Nick Swisher Has Released A Children's Album
Yankees outfielder and fountain of enthusiasm Nick Swisher has just released his first album, Believe. It features Swisher on lead vocals with Kidz-Bop-style backup, not to mention special appearances on guitar from Bernie Williams and Barry Zito. Looking at the track list, it's basically a concep...

Cristiano Ronaldo Could End Up Being Seized By The European Central Bank
The financial situation in Europe is so screwed up that soccer players are being used as collateral. Bankia, a troubled seven-month-old Spanish banking group, is trying to shore up capital by going public and getting a big loan from the European Central Bank, the EU's equivalent of the Federal Reser...

Here's Ndamukong Suh Dancing To Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"
When we last checked in on Ndamukong Suh, he was eating himself. Now he's tweeting himself dancing to "Hot n Cold." This is his first and likely last Katy-Perry-inspired video, as the lockout looks close to over and he'd have to get a permit to strap fireworks to his chest in Michigan. [Complex]...