drew-magary-old Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....

Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A Soldier
We've all mocked Kellen Winslow in the past for grossly overestimating his own bravery. But perhaps it's time to reconsider, given that last year, he had his testicles sliced open....

The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....

And Now… Stars Who Could Have Used Helmets As Babies
If you're a parent, you know about the phenomenon known as Flat Head Syndrome, where a baby's head gets too flat in the back and they need to wear a helmet to correct it....

Matt Bush Teaches Us A Valuable Lesson About When Not To Cry
By now, you've likely seen the above video of former Padres #1 overall pick Matt Bush being arrested and crying like a fat kid who can't open a peanut jar....

Jeff Garlin: “This Is The Longest Rape Has Ever Been A Topic For Anything I’ve Ever Discussed”
This week's Deadcast guest is "Curb Your Enthusiasm" co-star and producer Jeff Garlin (Listen here, iTunes here, buy Jeff's standup DVD here). We talk rape! Far more than Jeff prefers!...

Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)
Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....

The Bizarre World Of Children’s YouTube Videos
Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer....

Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered....

This Week In Terrible Music: The Cowboys’ Nu Metal Band, Plus Chickenfoot
You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS!...

Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...

Leitch And Drew On Vomiting, Dipping, Commenting, Simmons, And Other Essentials
Your Deadcast guest this week is Leitch. It's a nice departure from all those weeks of talking to, you know, interesting people. HEY-O!!!!...

F—k Your Stupid Life Event: A Guide To Gift Giving
I hate buying gifts. I hate shopping for them, even online, which requires only that I click a mouse a few times, maybe fill out your address. NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT....

A Special Announcement From Ballsdeepland
Announcements have been unkind to you lately. They're either telling you someone has died, or that you're gonna get banned from commenting. Well here's an announcement I hope you find a bit more welcome....

Bridget Hall: Loves Shrooms, Hates Jessica Simpson
Your Deadcast guest this week is supermodel Bridget Hall. You might think a smoking hot lady like Bridget is unattainable. But today, I bring you proof she's just like us Deadspin folk! She likes guns!...

Jim Brown: All-American, Gaylord
Your Deadcast guest this week is Hall of Famer Jim Brown (listen here). And holy shit, is that man intimidating. Except when talking about rollerskating around Venice Beach....

It’s Family Hour With A Kinder, Gentler Buzz Bissinger (UPDATE)
Your Deadcast guest this week is Pulitzer Prize winner, author, and noted horsefucker Buzz Bissinger, and he's still got some f-bombs in his pocket. He was Artie Lange before Artie Lange was Artie Lange, you know....

Dan Le Batard Vs. Bill Simmons, Coming To Your Neighborhood PTI
This week's Deadcast guest is Dan Le Batard, who brings news that Bill Simmons will be making his guest host debut on "Pardon The Interruption" sometime this summer. Get that Larry Bird head-on-a-stick ready....

Justine Bateman Was NOT Roman Polanski’s Hot Tub Victim
This week's second Deadcast guest is actress, producer, and avid tumblr, uh, er, Justine Bateman....

Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....