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Great Moments In Minor League Formalwear
I was backing out of a tight parking spot today and I did that thing where you back up little by little by little until you either A) Have sufficient room to turn out of the space, or B) Tap into the other car by accident. I did the latter today, and man, that always makes me feel like a giant bag o...

Cockblocked By The Homeless! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure, where we chronicle four heartwarming stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The 2010 Deadspin NFC Fantasy Football Preview
Every year, Andy Behrens of Yahoo and I preview the upcoming fantasy season by going through every team in the NFL. All killer, no filler. Listen here. Join us, won't you?...

Lessons In Midget Hoisting Etiquette
My power went out this morning for the 9,000th time this summer. Let me tell you something: power outages are a hundred times worse when you have small children. No power means the TV doesn't work, so I have nothing to turn on to get the kids to be quiet so that I can ignore them properly. Also, the...

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “In The Fade”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "In The Fade" by Queens Of The Stone Age....

Fun With Composting Old Rubbers!
All right all right, time to open up the ol' sack of goodies and see what's spurtin' out. Your letters:...

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Whole Lotta Rosie”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC....

This Is What Happens When A Blogger Auditions To Sing The National Anthem
Earlier this year, I came to the Washington Nationals with an idea to sing the anthem at one of their games and write about it. And they were mildly intrigued, until they heard my audition....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Orion”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Orion" by Metallica....

Cockblocked by Cassiopeia! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Female Driver Plows Into Reader's Dunkin' Donuts This Morning: His Report
Reader Eddie B. was enjoying a French cruller this morning at a Westchester Dunkin' Donuts when this lady, in an apparent rush, drove through the store. He writes in:...

A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
Your letters:...

In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...

Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Can Black Men Be Douchebags? Oh, Yes
I ate corn on the cob the other night. I had to shuck it before I could wrap it with butter in foil and throw it in the grill. I can't for the life of me shuck an ear of corn and get ALL the corn strings off. It's fucking impossible. If anyone has tips to rid the world of corn strings, I'm all ears....

Seven Ways To Improve The Modern Automobile
There was a violent thunderstorm here on Sunday. It knocked out our power for two days. I was with my kid at some local pool when the clouds started to gather. Suddenly, the thunder rolled and the lifeguard ordered everyone out of the pool. The wind started whipping up like fucking crazy, blowing tr...

The Worst Bra Unhooking Failure Ever. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Crazy Rich Arabs Are The Craziest Bastards Of All!
Your letters:...

A Compendium Of Horrible, Horrible Twitter Poetry
Twitter is an inherently silly and disposable means of communication. Oh, but there are people out there who take their tweets seriously. Very seriously. AFFIRMED....

Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...