drewmagary Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Jacksonville Jaguars<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
The Cowboys Are Fucking Up Everything<em></em>
Last night Adam Schefter reported that—surprise, surprise—there is still no timetable for the NFL wrapping up the Zeke Elliott investigation. The entire thing has been a clusterfuck, from Jerry Jones publicly insisting that Elliott will (nay, should) be cleared, to Roger Goodell privately distancing...
Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Chicago Bears<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Why Your Team Sucks 2017: San Francisco 49ers<em></em>
Some people are fans of the San Francisco 49ers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Francisco 49ers. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Cleveland Browns<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
2017 America Is The Perfect Hellscape For A Free O.J. Simpson
We have all manner of business to get to before digging into the Funbag, the most pressing of which is that WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS begins soon. That means you should send your entries into the email link above, and you should do it sooner rather than later because I’ve been having to close submissions ...
Phil Mushnick Is Being A Crotchety Old Penis Again
It’s the Dead Zone of the summer sports calendar, and I am on the verge of dying from physiological lack of hot sports action. Thankfully, there is man out there who the IRON NUTSACK to throw down the kind of C4-tipped bazooka take that can carry you and I through the purgatory of late July. That ma...
What Is The Most Mentally Grueling Sport, And Why Is It Not Tennis?<em></em>
Last week our own Laura Wagner declared tennis to be the most mentally grueling of all sports, which greatly incensed the rest of us on staff who have borne witness to professional tennis players being tended to by an army of small child servants during matches. So what IS the most mentally grueling...
Who Has The Best Hair In Sports?<em></em>
Are you in Denver right now? WHAT A COINCIDENCE, so am I! Why it’s like we’re practically family. Anyway, I have a reading at the Tattered Cover tonight. Come out and try to guess if I smoked legal weed BEFORE the signing, or if I had the willpower and professionalism to wait until afterward....
Introducing A Bold Innovation In Your Humble Deadcast: Other People
I know Deadcast listeners can’t get enough of Marchman and I talking over one another and throwing out entire recordings due to our lack of technical prowess. But Blog Daddy and I got together and decided we’d try to SPICE UP our podcasting relationship this week by introducing other Deadspin writer...
I Can’t Get Enough Of This Batshit Crazy Lena Dunham Dog Story<em></em>
Listen man, I know you don’t usually come to this site looking for information about Girls creator and world’s most obvious Oberlin alum Lena Dunham, but you gotta hear about this shit with the dog she gave up and the shelter that absolutely demolished her online....
There Is Nothing CNN Can’t Fuck Up <em></em>
By now, you know the saga of the Trump CNN tweet: a clumsy wrestling .gif the president sent out (with no hat tip!) that triggered the usual round of establishment tut-tutting and, at first, promised to be yet another disposable Trump mini-scandal that occupied everyone for two minutes before moving...
Parsley Isn’t Just For Losers
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking menu boards, pets, pubes, ad music, and more....
Dig A Hole At The Beach
I’ve been taking my kids to the beach for years now and in that time we have brought along any number of cumbersome, worthless beach toys: bulldozers and rakes and sand trowels and bad frisbees and this little wheel thingie where you put water in the top and it makes the wheel go spin-spin. I have c...
Will The Han Solo Movie Suck?<em></em>
Last week the Star Wars braintrust shitcanned directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller from the upcoming Han Solo spinoff movie, and replaced them with longtime Ron “Opie Cunningham is a BASTARD” Howard. Should this concern the LEGENDARY FANS OF STAR WARS NATION, or does this movie still have a chance t...
Late Lunch Is Horseshit<em></em>
I was on a plane last week and I was sitting behind a mom traveling alone with two tiny kids. For the last half hour of the flight, the toddler was screaming her head off. Now, that’s not the interesting part. Toddlers scream on airplanes all the time, which is why most people bring along headphones...
What's The Best Store To Daydream About Robbing?<em></em>
Before we get down into the guts of the Funbag, some very dry and tedious busywork: First, I got a newsletter now, because making people sign up for spam is the hot new thing in tech. Secondly, I got another book tour coming next month. I wish there were tour shirts to go with it, like when Megadeth...
There’s Another <i>Hike</i> Book Tour And You’re All Invited<em></em>
Last year the good folks at Penguin sent me out on a book tour to promote The Hike, and now they’re sending me back out on the road once more to whore out the paperback for cheapskates....
Civility Is Overrated
Earlier this week there was a phony report about the Golden State Warriors deciding not to go to the White House after winning their second title in three years. That prompted Washington Post columnist Sally Jenkins to write this column calling for all of the Warriors to go and shake Donald Trump’s ...