drewmagary Page 60 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Taste Test: Why Is There A Strawberry Margarita In My Light Beer?
As someone with a lifelong passion for cheap, horrible beer, I couldn't have been more excited when I walked into a bodega the other day–the same bodega I go to every day to buy a bigass bottle of Coke Zero and a Jack Link's beef stick–and saw a stack of 12-packs of Bud Light Lime STRAW-ber-RITA rig...
Boston, Newtown, Challenger: How To Talk To Kids About Awful Things
I was in fourth grade at Myrtle Schumann Elementary School in Orono, Minn., when the Challenger exploded. I didn't see the shuttle explode live on TV. We were in our class doing our usual lessons as word of the disaster spread. I remember a little kid named Jason broke the news to me personally....
"WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR": A Sorority Girl Lashes Out At Her Sisters
I always like to picture sororities as places where college girls stage elaborately decorated mixers and then spend the rest of the week gouging out each other's eyes. And thankfully, the remarkable email you're about to read proves all of my theories correct. From reader Erik: "This is from the U...
Pat Summerall: The Last Of The Hard Voices
At my gym the other day, half of the television screens were showing an episode of Dr. Phil. You don't need me to tell you that Dr. Phil sucks, so I grabbed a magazine and went about the business of not looking at his big stupid head. But then I saw Pat Summerall in the studio with him and suddenly ...
Golf's Self-Congratulatory Rule-Keeping Is Dumb
Your letters:...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>The Fresh Beat Band</i>
A regular look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
All Hail The Fucking Curse Word Bracket Winner
A couple nights ago, I was tucking my kid into bed when I accidentally knocked over a picture frame and it made the loudest possible noise a falling picture frame could make. When it happened, I let out a slow and low, "Fuuuuuuuuuck." Then I turned to my kid and she repeated it back to me, exactly...
Sophie The Giraffe Must Die
Before I get to the question of the week, I just want to let you know that I'm gonna do an AMA over at Reddit tomorrow at 1 p.m. And you might think to yourself, "Hey, how's that different from a Live Funbag"? Well, uh ... look, I'll explain it all tomorrow. Just put on your Troll Face and go. Now, ...
What Being A Coach Should Mean In The 21st Century
Rutgers gave athletic director Tim Pernetti the boot on Friday after Mike "50 Hot Ones Comin' At Ya!" Rice was shitcanned for turning basketball practice into his own dodgeball refresher course. But because the only thing he did that was truly anathema to the big-time sports hivemind was to get caug...
Do You Owe Your Friend Beer If He Takes You To A Game?
Your letters:...
Fucking Vote: The Curse Word Bracket Final Is Here
The final of the Deadspin Swear Word Bracket has arrived. And despite a valiant attempt by "cunt" to take down top seed "fuck," this is looking less like a tournament than it is a coronation....
Vote, Motherfuckers: The Filthy Four Has Arrived
We've made it to the final four of our Deadspin Curse Word Bracket. And, as expected, the almost all of the 1 seeds have advanced. Turns out the REAL tournament is a lot more unpredictable than our use of cruel, degrading language. Let us now break down the two national curse word semifinals. .....
How To Be A Good Captive, And Other Notes From My Fake Kidnapping
I have an article in this month's GQ about my experience with a luxury abduction service, which I paid to kidnap me and hold me captive for 14 hours or so. (Here I am talking about the story on The Howard Stern Show, if you care to listen.) Given that Adam Thick, owner and operator of Extreme Kidnap...
Is Monkey In The Middle The Meanest Childhood Game?
I spent spring break at my sister's house last week and one night when I was there I was on the couch, watching the tourney and picking at my feet. I tore off this flap of skin that had really bugged me all day, and when I tore it off, BLOOD EVERYWHERE. My big toe was hemorrhaging plasma. I ran on m...
Vote, You Vulgar Shits: The Curse Word Bracket Elite Eight
Sweet Sixteen voting is over in the Deadspin Curse Word Bracket, and let's all give a big round of applause to "rimjob" and "fuckface," the two seemingly unstoppable 11-seeds who now must go up the 1-seeds in their respective regions. Now is the time for you to choose your Filthy Four–you four favo...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Dora The Explorer</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke....
Are You A Bad Person If You Want To Watch What Happened To Kevin Ware?
I caught one of CBS's two replays of Kevin Ware's horrific injury last night right after the play occurred. My brother-in-law watched it live and then called me over to the TV. He didn't mean anything malicious by it. He just saw it and his first impulse was to grab someone nearby and be like, "Holy...
Can "Rimjob" Pull Off The Upset? Here's The Filthy Sixteen Of Your Curse Word Bracket
Second-round voting is over in the Deadspin Curse Word bracket, and boy, you people certainly like your rimjobs. Now it’s time for the regional semifinals. But before we get to the voting, a few notes on your Filthy Sixteen:...