drewmagary Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Making Your Own Ketchup Is Idiotic
Before we hit the Funbag, one quick programming note: there won't be a Live Funbag on Thursday. Having children on Spring Break means being around your children for 150 consecutive hours, and it's unlikely that I will be of sound mind by the time Thursday rolls around. You'll understand one day....
Vote, Jagoffs: Second Round Of Our Curse Word Bracket Begins
BEWARE THE 13 SEEDS. While Florida Gulf Coast was busy trashing your NCAA bracket, some rather notable underdogs advanced in the first round of our curse word bracket, including 13 seeds "cameltoe" (which beat out "screw" by less than a thousand votes) and "buttfuck" (which staged an astonishing tr...
Vote, Dipshits: The First Round Of The Curse Word Bracket Continues
We're opening up the Potpourri and Compound Swear Word Regionals for voting now, so go ahead and choose your favorite curse word down below. The first two regions have seen their voting go pretty much according to plan, with a handful of exceptions (like 11-seed "rimjob" beating out 6-seed "clit")....
Behold: The Ultimate Curse Word Bracket
Swearing is important and cathartic and fun and totally makes you seem hip and edgy when you do it. There's a whole lot of hot, sweaty NCAA tournament action coming up this week, which means there will be plenty of FUCKS and SHITS and GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKERS blurted out across the country as bracket ...
The Lover's Guide To The NCAA Tournament
There is no finer harbinger of spring than the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. Often, the planets will align and you will find that the first day of the tournament also happens to take place on one of the first legitimately warm days of the spring, which allows you to drink outside for the fir...
What Event Would Reset The World Calendar?
When looking through history, we measure years with B.C. and A.D. but you have to imagine that in some time in the future we'll have a new abbreviation, right? Unless we just keep on going to the year five thousand or something. What would be the event that would most likely put our clock back to ze...
Let's Move College Football To The Spring
It's nearly spring. March Madness will be here soon to make you drunk and happy, but soon it'll be gone and you'll eventually be left with Jim Nantz tossing Augusta National's salad and the three people left on Earth who care about regular-season baseball. What's an anti-social American to do? Reade...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Chuggington</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. GIF by Jim Cooke....
Should The NFL Draft Become An Auction Draft?
Before we get to the Funbag, one thing: my new book, Someone Could Get Hurt, is due out May 16. You can find links to pre-order it through my shitass homepage. It's all new Dadspin material. There's nothing republished from Deadspin, so you won't be spending your money on shit you've already read. T...
The Percy Harvin Trade Is Great News For Football And Horrible News For Me
Percy Harvin is headed to Seattle. Let's deal with this news, first with reason and then with angry, drunken homerism....
The Best (Or Maybe Worst) NBA Rule-Change Idea You'll Ever Hear
I was in New York on business last week (as much as what I do can be called "business" with a straight face) and I was working out of this office building downtown one morning when I had to go take a shit. So I grabbed my guest pass, beeped my way through a set of hallway doors (I always pretend I'm...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke. ...
What Is The Most Indispensable Cheese To Humankind?
Before we get to the Funbag, one quick announcement: There will probably not be a live Funbag on Thursday. But don't despair. You'll always have your raging alcoholism to help fill the void....
Your 100 Percent Bile-Filled Oscars Live Blog
It's finally here! Oscar Night! Speeches! Safe wardrobe choices! Four million references to "old Hollywood glamour"! Diet Pepsi commercials! Tap dance montages! THE WHOLE SHEBANG. I can't wait. I hope you've had as much Chardonnay as I've had, because I am feeling BITCHAY. ...
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Time to put on our bitchy pants and say shitty things about the Oscars and everyone nominated for the Oscars. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, this year’s Oscars will be “song-and-dance heavy,” which is arguably the most terrifying thing I have ever read. The Grammys were two weeks ago. That ...
