drewmagary Page 64 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cockblocked By Grandpappy!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Robert Griffin III Will Make You Forget That Dan Snyder Is An Awful Person
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
My 100 Concussions: Notes From A Terrified CTE Study Participant
Former football player and pro wrestler Chris Nowinski recently set up a massive research project with Boston University to examine the long-term effects of concussion damage on the human brain. Anyone can volunteer to have his or her brain posthumously donated to the study, and one anonymous Deadsp...
Six Great Things That Turn Horrible When You Grow Old
Your letters:...
The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents
Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...
Cockblocked By Creationism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The NFL Is Still Holding Back Saturday Football Because The NFL Hates You
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Roger Goodell Was A Narc In High School, And He's Proud Of It
Whoa hey, loogit who's gracing the cover of this week's Time magazine: your friend and Peter King's, Roger Goodell. Sean Gregory has a lengthy profile of the NFL commissioner in this week's issue, and it contains the usual bits of hagiography (he keeps in shape! his daddy didn't like Vietnam, and th...
Are You A Terrible Person For Wondering How Death Impacts Your Sports Team?
In the wake of the Jovan Belcher murder-suicide this weekend I got this email from reader Tom:...
Name The Royal Baby!
I have no idea what the protocol is for naming an heir to throne of England. I assume that Prince William and Kate Middleton are free to think up names as they please, before the queen walks in with a terrifying grimace and her dumb corgis and politely tells the couple that none of their names will ...
What Will Football Look Like 50 Years From Now?
I'm sick this week, and when you have children being sick is the BEST. You don't have to do jack shit. You can go nap. You can mainline chicken broth directly into your wrist. You can opt out of bath duty and dish duty and garbage duty. The other parent has to do all the work. It's awesome. It's lik...
Why It's OK For The Chiefs To Play A Game Today
On its face, the idea of Romeo Crennel having to coach a football game mere hours after witnessing his own player, Jovan Belcher, commit suicide seems petty and dickish and greedy and lazy and stupid. I know that was my first thought yesterday when the NFL announced that the Panthers-Chiefs game wou...
Who Is This Hack Who Wrote About Colin Kaepernick's Tattoos, And Why Is He Such A Racist Dicktroll?
So this had no purpose but to get attention, and now it has: a remarkably racist column about biracial 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick written by AOLSportingNewsFanhouseBleacherMuckrackGrid writer David Whitley. Kaepernick's parents have already seen it and openly lambasted it. And KSK's Mike Tunison poin...
The Best Time To Fire A Head Coach
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
The Hater's Guide To Notre Dame
You’re gonna hear a lot about Notre Dame over the next month or so, particularly from media types like Tony Kornheiser who have spent the past 20 years holding back a collective tidal wave of jism, waiting for the program to return to prominence so that they can declare how good it is for college fo...
Dear Fireman Ed: F-U-C-K Off! Off! Off!
In case you missed it, unofficial Jets mascot Fireman Ed, whose claim to fame is going to Jets games and spelling one word very loudly, "retired" yesterday. And the best part is that he retired because people at the stadium were just too darn mean to him:...
Take Your "Elite" Quarterback Argument And Shove It Up Your Stupid Butthole
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Cockblocked By Joe Mauer!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase two heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....